Renfield In An Age of Demonic Totalitarianism Encounters A Stone Cold Loser

June 3, 2019 at 11:00 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Renfield In An Age of Demonic Totalitarianism Encounters A Stone Cold Loser

“Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two makes four. If that is granted, all else follows.”
-George Orwell, 1984.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had been invited to the state dinner at Buckingham Palace that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was holding for Donald Trump.

But when he showed up wearing not a formal suit but a t-shirt that said,

VISITING LONDON FROM THE U.S. AND WANTING TO MAKE YOUR TOUPEE GREAT AGAIN?
THEN VISIT BULLWINKLE’S TOUPEE SHAMPOO SALON.

he was barred from entering on orders of British Prime Minister Theresa May.

So he went home and decided to meet Amadeus Emanon who would be spending his Monday night in his favourite cafe.

He put on a t-shirt that said 
LGBTQ HISTORY MONTH

and below the quote was a drawing of Abraham’s nephew Lot, Lot’s wife and family leaving the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah as they were destroyed by The Lord God of Israel.

He then entered the cafe where Amadeus was sitting and joined him at his table.

In the corner of the cafe sat London Mayor Sadiq Khan playing chess against the neighbourhood barber.

At another table sat the Kraken Napoleon VI and his wife Medusa who were visiting England as part of Anglo-French 75th Anniversary D-Day celebrations.

“So,” Renfield ordered a coffee, “Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol just sent me a text message saying that Lenin’s ghost appeared at Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s side in Vancouver today.”

“Really?” Amadeus was eating a bagel with cream cheese, “So Trudeau is now getting advice from Lenin’s ghost as well as the demons Baal and Baphomet?”.

“Apparently,” Renfield ordered a tuna fish sandwich, “And speaking of the demons Baal and Baphomet, I got word from a Set Enterprises operative in Dublin that they were meeting with the entire Irish cabinet today.”

“Really?” Amadeus looked shocked as he bit into his mashed potatoes with gravy and fried shamrocks, “I don’t imagine Saint Patrick will be very happy about that.”

“Probably not,” Renfield remarked as he looked at what Amadeus was eating.

“What’s Whitstable doing in Vancouver?” Amadeus asked.

“He’s apparently investigating the fact that the ghost of Maximilien Robespierre has been serving as an advisor to British Columbia’s so-called Human Rights Commission the past couple of years,” Renfield sipped his coffee.

“Didn’t Pan Goatee recently behead all the members of British Columbia’s so-called Human Rights Commission for imposing a large fine on somebody for saying that a person who was born a biological male “had been born a biological male”. It happened a few months back,” Amadeus ordered a hot fudge sundae.

“He did,” Renfield nodded, “but the provincial government have appointed a new bunch of politically correct assholes to replace the deceased politically correct assholes on the commission.”

London Mayor Sadiq Khan said “Merde” after his chess opponent the barber said “Checkmate”.

Medusa, who had the snakes in her hair shaved off by a robot barber invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher, had a slight after effect of the operation.

Whenever she heard the word “Merde”, her hair would momentarily turn into snakes again.

Sadiq Khan immediately turned to stone after seeing Medusa’s snaky hair.

Just then the waiter, who was carrying a pitcher of iced water, tripped over his feet and the ice landed on top of the now stoned Sadiq Khan who had just lost a chess game.

“Well,” Renfield commented as he observed the spectacle, “it appears Donald Trump was right about one thing. Sadiq Khan the Mayor of London is a stone cold loser.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 3rd
2019.


Medusa: As she looks when her hair doesn’t have snakes in it

2 Comments

  1. janowrite said,

    Just brilliant! Stone cold loser, I’m rotf! 😁💕

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