Harvey Tallbanger At The G-20 Summit In Osaka Japan

June 28, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Harvey Tallbanger At The G-20 Summit In Osaka Japan

As Set Enterprises’ secret agent the invisible 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger took a break from eavesdropping on behind the scenes meetings between world leaders at the G-20 Summit in Osaka Japan, he watched a newscast from America on his Dick Tracy style TV watch.

Commercial For American TV News Channel: And coming up on Netflix tonight will be a somewhat incoherent sequel to the 1981 film An American Werewolf In London.
The name of the sequel is A Canadian Pothead In Osaka…

At that moment Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau started to make a commotion at the summit table and so Harvey Tallbanger turned off his watch.

Justin Trudeau (speaking to one of his aides as he has his back turned on China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping) : What’s wrong with the people making table arrangements for this summit? They’ve seated me right next to Xi Jinping the man who got his secret agents to kidnap my pet pot smoking desert cactus plant named Strawberry Fields Forever and hold him hostage in exchange for the release of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou from Canada.

Harvey Tallbanger: I believe they’ve seated countries in alphabetical order and China is after Canada alphabetically speaking among the G-20 countries.

Justin Trudeau: Is that a disembodied voice that was just speaking to me?

Trudeau aide (who was now drinking his 12th Harvey Wallbanger cocktail) : It could be. I myself see a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears and a white floppety tail. I wonder if he’d be willing to play for the Toronto Raptors.

Tallbanger moved on from the summit table to the closed door meeting between Russian President Vladimir Putin and U.S. President Donald Trump.

Trump (to Putin): My intelligence sources inform me that you have developed a new secret weapon. I demand to know what this new secret weapon is.

At that moment, Tallbanger released from the bag that he was carrying a miniature Godzilla that had been genetically created by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

The miniature Godzilla approached Donald Trump’s shoes and socks and breathed fire on them disintegrating them in the process.

He then exited out the door followed by a miniature robot toy Energizer bunny who played the song When The Saints Come Marching In on his toy drum.

“What a horrible weapon of mess destruction,” Trump looked at his disintegrated shoes and socks, “imagine what that would be able to do to Caitlyn Jenner’s pantyhose. To say nothing of Kim Kardashian’s authentic trademark kimonos.”

The ghost of 1950s Japanese film actress Yuriko Horikata (who had been accompanying Harvey Tallbanger on his mission) knocked off Trump’s toupee with her parasol when he made this obnoxious statement.

“Weapon of mess destruction indeed,” Putin mused aloud as he looked at Trump’s toupee lying on the floor.

After the day’s summit proceedings, Harvey Tallbanger joined the ghost of Yuriko Horikata for drinks in her favourite Osaka lounge.

Yuriko Horikata: “Harvey, the Wallbanger sipping gentleman on my right here wants to know how it’s possible for a bunny rabbit to grow so tall?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Friday June 28th
2019.

66 Comments

  1. David Redpath said,

    Dracul, I’ve been reliably informed that the
    French President, Emmanuel Macron, tried
    most ardently to have the G-20 leaders
    seated in alphabetical order according to
    names, rather than countries. Apparently
    he was hoping for a threesome with
    Theresa May and Angela Merkel
    (still shaking from their last two-on-one).
    The Chinese refused as Xi Jinping would’ve
    been at the end, and too far from the action
    to see anything 😎

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      ROTFL ! @ Angela Merkel still shaking from their last two-on-one ! 😂

      Too bad, Ukraine isn’t a big enough power to make it a G-21.

      Volodymyr Zelensky could be seated next to Xi and then he could shake at his next meeting with Angela Merkel following a one-on-one with Xi as they compared what was bigger and longer – a Ukrainian cabbage roll or a Chinese egg roll.

      • David Redpath said,

        According to Macron’s private ‘La Cougouar
        Diaries’, neither are a match for Merkel’s
        Sauerkraut Bagel 🙈

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles.

  2. David Redpath said,

    Yes, the Fatherland
    has one Mother
    of a fearless leader 🤚

  3. annieasksyou said,

    Fun through, ending with an important existential question that’s been on all our minds!😉

  4. Hyperion said,

    LoL 😂. I wonder if Pootin was in cahoots with Set in developing the mini Godzilla. I’ve wondered who Pootin plans to elect for US President next year. It seems the left wing liberal Café Socialists have plenty of fresh meat for the market.and just how did our favorite spy bunny get so tall?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      How he got so tall is indeed the 6 million dollar question, Daniel. 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        I suspect the good Doctor Cadbury has added just the right bunny fertilizer and giant carrots. Maybe even some of Sherries magic mushroom cureall.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, that combination would definitely do the trick all right. 👍👌😎

      • Hyperion said,

        I could use some of Sherrie’s magic mushroom cure right now. Of course, I don’t want to be invisible or 8 feet tall, but I have always wanted to work with Akira Lane on some rope scenes and I need a miracle to make that happen 😜

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Sherrie’s magic mushrooms would be able to do that all right and you’ll be able to do rope scenes with Akira Lane… if only in your (wet) dreams. 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        Ha ha ha! Caution ropes are slippery when wet.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        All caution has been thrown to the winds. 😆

      • Hyperion said,

        Let the crochet begin!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Knitting, Knotting and Nuts is what they’ll call the film version of this tale. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        It will become a classic Saturday night movie sensation.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Chicago’s TV horror movie host Svenghouli will do a program on it and invite Akira Lane as a guest.😍

      • Hyperion said,

        I must now buy cable so I can watch 😜

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Svenghouli sells a lot of cable. 😉

      • Hyperion said,

        He sold me, muwaaa haaaa haaaaa! Madame Lane is an astute practioner of the ropes and it would be an honor to suspend her from the bamboo rail of deeo desires.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No wonder they say, “Get ready for the big broadcast” at the start of every Svenghouli show.

      • Hyperion said,

        LMAO 😆. it’s all intentional, no doubt.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Svenghouli… The scariest thing to come out of Chicago since Barack O’ Bummer’s community organizing.

      • Hyperion said,

        Ha ha ha! That’s truly ghoulish. And of course immediately after the O’ Bummer finished his organizing, the death rate soared with violence. Ah, just as he had hoped. We die from within making it easier for UN forces to take over where he is promised a leading role as Emperor if that bully MAGA fool doesn’t muck up the plan.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, who will become the first American Emperor?

        The GOO or O’Bummer?

        Therein hangs a tale (and in the GOO’s case a tail as everything is up for grabs).

      • Hyperion said,

        And the GOO is a tail grabber from way back. Perhaps the O’ Bummer hasn’t a chance.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Like Shakespeare’s MacBeth noted for saying, “Come let me clutch thee”, the GOO shall grab for himself an imperial crown.

      • Hyperion said,

        He’ll be the Mega-Wad then, having departed his humble GOO persona

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        He’ll have reached what the heretical Jesuit priest Teilhard de Chardin called the Omega Point.

      • Hyperion said,

        When the GOO reaches Mega-Wad he’ll be The GOOOOP The Great Orange Orifice Of Omega Point and the liberal socialists will howl louder than Cerberus at the Baby BeeJesus pulling his tail.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That is an awesome image. 😎

      • Hyperion said,

        LOL! I’m sure its a prophesy that will shake the liberal socialist to their very CBD oil core.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        What does CBD stand for?

        The only thing that comes to mind as far as liberal socialists are concerned is Constipated Bowel Denoument.

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaa haaaa haaaaaa! It caused by all that anal clenching watching the fake news reports about the GOO becoming Emperor of the Disinvited States of ‘Merica. Cannabidiol (CBD) is a chemical occurring in cannabis plants. Liberals like to smear their genitals with it and share it with friends at MAGA protests.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        ROTL !

        I guess not being an ardent Justin Trudeau supporter, I was not aware of CBD.

        I guess if I was a Justin Trudeau supporter, CBD would very much be on my mind 24 hours a day. 😆

      • Hyperion said,

        CBD oil is in everything herein the US. Once it was legalized it’s the same as salt and pepper. It cures everything from hemmorhoids to satanism. Actually I think it just makes you high and you forget what bothers you. Millions of Canadians cross the border to buy CBD suppositories because Justin Trudeau gives them a lot of ass pain.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        They don’t want to suffer from the dreaded Constipation Bowel Denoument. 😨

      • Hyperion said,

        That would lend truth to the suggestion that we are all full of poop.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I wonder if there were a lot of party poopers at Trump’s 4th of July bash. 😲

      • Hyperion said,

        The liberal Demoncraps tried maliciously to ruin the celebration but it went just fine setting a new tradition of celebration of hard earned freedom instead of carcinogenic hotdog grilling that the libs like so much.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        We can only hope that they’ll be keeling over and kicking the bucket soon after all those years of carcinogenic hot dog eating.

      • Hyperion said,

        Hemmorhoids are also on the rise due to the liberal use of hotdogs for anal play. The cancer comes from eating the hotdogs after ansl play to save money. California has demanded proper warnings on the label to stop this misuse of an American symbol of virility and manliness. 🌭

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No doubt rectors (and rectums) of Jesuit seminaries in the U.S. will notice that warning at the start of all the new gay porn films they show their students in their classrooms.

      • Hyperion said,

        I am traumatized by that advertisement for Oscar Meyer Weiners where the little boy sings that he wants to be an Oscar Meyer Weiner because everyone would like him. Now I see him in a Jesuit run mental institution having spent way to much time stuffed in someone’s behind. 🥺

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The medium is indeed the message as Marshall McLuhan noted.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes indeedy! Marshall saw it coming and skeedaddled no doubt.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes on his way out, he made a cameo appearance in Woody Allen’s 1977 film Annie Hall (which I thought was the funniest scene in the entire movie) and then departed this world on the last day of 1980.

      • Hyperion said,

        Well, at least he left on a good note before the epic doom settled in.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Exactly.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think you might like the latest scene where Ras gains Dari’s trust and intimate knowledge of her most private parts. A little vampire erotica to help you through the day.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think this explains the GOO’s neurosis.

        He’s only able to gain intimate knowledge of a female’s private parts when money is exchanged from him to her.

      • Hyperion said,

        It’s an ancient time honored tradition and the GOO is very traditional in that respect. Probably explains why his genitals itch all the time and Melania always seems upset.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes instead of emitting sperm, emitting pieces of paper that have an eye above a pyramid announcing the coming of the New World Order in Latin does tend to have that effect on people.

      • Hyperion said,

        It’s amazing. For only $159,000 you can rent Stormy Daniels.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes and to think Charlie Brown’s pet beagle Snoopy foresaw it all when he penned the words on his ancient typewriter atop his doghouse, “It was a dark and stormy night…”

      • Hyperion said,

        Ha ha ha haaaa! No wonder he danced with delight.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

        Yes, he got to grab her pussy for free.

        It was purr-fect!

      • Hyperion said,

        Snoopy always seemed in a good mood.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        He never made any Jerry Seinfeld style bets during the course of his life so he was always in a good mood. 😎

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, it seems his only obsession was to be a WWI Flying Ace but other than that his life was fairly routine but happy. I’ve always like Snoopy.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Snoopy was my favourite character.

        My life was always like that of Charlie Brown but my favourite character was Snoopy.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes indeed! I thought Snoopy was the coolest of the bunch. My life was like Schroeder so I had to avoid humans to prevent exasperation.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Did you ever play the piano like Schroeder?

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