Pan Goatee’s Continued Aesthetic Cleansing and Cthulhu Rises Over Hong Kong
Pan Goatee’s Continued Aesthetic Cleansing and Cthulhu Rises Over Hong Kong
Pan Goatee crossed the street to the shopping mall and was about to enter when suddenly he was confronted by the hideous sight of a mutant hybrid combination of incestuous Hutterite produced female crossed with a facially aesthetically challenged Bosnian Muslim refugee.
“You degenerate product of a botched abortion,” Goatee deduced with Sherlockian efficiency, “Product of lethal too close family ties Hutterite interbreeding mixed with one of the horrendous genetic mutant experiments performed on Bosnian Muslims by Bosnian Serb war criminal Radovan Karadzic. Get thee to a feminist nunnery in the Lake of Fire!”.
He then beheaded the ugly creature.
The satyr serial killer with impeccable good taste in wine, women and song then entered the shopping mall food court where he noticed a brainless repulsively hideously ugly fat ugly blimp sitting there making the huge mistake of sitting in a food court in a shopping mall frequented by Pan Goatee.
As small restaurant owners in the food court put up signs saying SORRY! CURRENTLY ALL OUT OF FOOD!, Pan Goatee approached the fat ugly blimp who had a butch haircut and was no doubt looking forward to walking with Justin Trudeau in tomorrow’s Gay Pride Parade in Calgary.
“Your face would have shattered the mirrors faster than the gunshots in the 1947 Orson Welles film The Lady From Shanghai,” Goatee shrewdly pointed out as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp.
The satyr then walked to a Tim Horton’s restaurant across the street where he tried their new plant based hamburgers.
“Another reason why I’ve sworn never to become a vegan,” Goatee commented when he had finished eating.
The satyr then entered a nearby Indian restaurant where he ordered curried goats’ legs and then sat down and re-read the Hannibal Lecter book The Silence of The Lambs by Thomas Harris.
Goatee then walked back to the shopping mall where he re-encountered the ugly incestuous Hutterite female progeny crossed with a mutant facially aesthetically challenged Bosnian Muslim lab experiment of Radovan Karadzic.
“I thought I beheaded you all ready,” Goatee then beheaded the ugly looking creature again and cut her up into 666 trillion pieces which he then laced with Pope Pius XII blessed Holy Water to prevent any future diabolically based resurrections.
The satyr then beheaded the nearby Hillary Clinton lookalike voodoo practicing witch who had brought the degenerate product of a botched abortion back from the dead in the hopes that she’d naturally be a registered voter for Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren in the 2020 U.S. Presidential election.
Goatee then entered the mall where he saw another fat ugly blimp with a bull dyke haircut approaching.
“The Gay Pride Parade isn’t until tomorrow and besides it’s downtown and not in this neighbourhood,” Goatee beheaded the ugly creature in exasperated tones as he silently cursed idiots using today’s vastly inaccurate GPS locating systems instead of good old fashioned accurate road maps of yesteryear.
Goatee was about to enter the Dollar Store to buy cans of Diet Coke when he noticed a fat ugly blimp with pink hair standing in line up at the cash register.
“Just on the off chance you’re suffering from the delusion that dyeing your hair pink makes you look more attractive, I’ve got news for you,” Goatee beheaded her, “it doesn’t.”
Seeing the fat ugly blimp with pink hair had ruined his appetite for a Diet Coke so he went home and made himself an Iced Cappuccino instead.
He then decided to head to a nearby grocery store to buy himself the ingredients to make a submarine sandwich for later this evening.
As he left the grocery store, he then encountered a thin ugly stoat looking creature.
“It’s because of ugly looking female creatures such as yourself that there will be a large population of intelligent men with good taste walking in tomorrow’s Gay Pride Parade,” Goatee was certainly making widespread use of his astral laser machete on this day as another uglo’s head bit the dust, “seeing as how there are unfortunately huge numbers of brainless males with no good taste whatsoever in this city who keep on reproducing the likes of you.”
Goatee went to a nearby Chinese laundry to get his astral laser machete cleaned.
Meanwhile over in Hong Kong, Cthulhu the ancient High Priest of the Great Old Ones was rising in Hong Kong Harbour facing off against that supernatural entity known as the Black Dragon.
Cthulhu was aligned with dark state rogue elements in the American CIA and Britain’s MI-6 who were hoping to make Hong Kong part of the western based globalist New World Order of the Antichrist.
The Black Dragon was aligned with dark state elements in the People’s Liberation Army and the Ministry of State Security (MSS) who were hoping to strip Hong Kong of its autonomy and make it squarely an integral part of Xi’s all encompassing totalitarian state.
One thing that both Cthulhu and the Black Dragon agreed on- these were the last days of Hong Kong.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 31st
2019.
Reblog of A Missile Fired, Sir Paul Reflects
A post that was both a short story and a vampire novel chapter that I wrote 2 years ago today after North Korea had fired a missile that flew directly over Japan.
Sir Paul sat in his hotel room and watched the television showing the North Korean missile launch over Japan.
It seemed the world was getting to be a more and more dangerous place all the time.
All over the world it seemed to be a summer of violence, hatred and terror.
Sir Paul picked up his guitar and played a song he hadn’t played in a long time.
A song he had written so many years ago.
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be
And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be…
View original post 367 more words
Boris Johnson’s Historic Day, Trump’s Hurricane Bluster, Harvey Tallbanger, Greek Goddess Artemis and Dracul Van Helsing
Boris Johnson’s Historic Day, Trump’s Hurricane Bluster, Harvey Tallbanger, Greek Goddess Artemis and Dracul Van Helsing
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was sitting in his office at 10 Downing Street going over some papers this evening.
Earlier in the day, Johnson had sent three Privy Council members up to Balmoral Castle in Scotland to get Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II to prorogue (suspend) Parliament for a month to cut back on the amount of time opposition MPs could use to prevent a No Deal Brexit on October 31st (the biggest Halloween trick or treat in British history).
Outside 10 Downing Street, protestors were shouting “Way hey, ho-ho, this BJ has got to go…”
Inside an adjacent cabinet meeting room, Renfield R. Renfield the Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering was thinking to himself, “What have those protestors got against blow jobs?”.
. . .
BBC News Anchorwoman Geeta Guru-Murthy was reading the news headlines, “And in other news, U.S. President Donald Trump has blasted the territory of Puerto Rico for having Hurricane Dorian barrelling down in their direction…”
The news clip shows Trump speaking to the media before boarding a helicopter, “I’d just like to say that it’s very very inconsiderate for Puerto Rico to have a hurricane barrelling in their direction for the third time in two years. Not cool at all. Two years ago they were hit by Hurricane Irma and then they were severely hit by Hurricane Maria which caused massive amounts of damage. Then they had the post-Maria nerve to say that it was a disaster and they required emergency aid from Washington DC. Again not very cool. And now a mere 2 years later, Hurricane Dorian is heading towards them. Yet again not very cool. What makes Puerto Rico think that regular American taxpayers will keep bailing them out every time they allow themselves to get hit by a hurricane? Like I say very very inconsiderate of them.”
Geeta Guru-Murthy: Mr. Trump then boarded the helicopter where he got hit in the face with a cream pie thrown at him by a 6 foot 8 tall invisible bunny rabbit according to descriptions by Harvey Wallbanger drinking secret service agents.
. . .
The Greek goddess Artemis was waiting for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in a London hotel room.
“Mr. Van Helsing,” Artemis beckoned him, “I’m here to tell you about the suspicious activities that have been happening at the Thule Air Base in Greenland but let’s get down to other business first…”
And that other business that Artemis had in mind turned out to be very pleasant indeed.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 28th
2019.
Crybaby Bolsonaro Demands An Apology
Crybaby Bolsonaro Demands An Apology
“I see short lived Trump White House advisor Steve Bannon is releasing a film next month that he made called Claws of The Red Dragon that he claims highlights the relationship between Huawei Technologies Co. Ltd. and the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) and the People’s Liberation Army (PLA),” Amadeus remarked while eating sweet and sour spare ribs.
“Yes, I wonder why Bannon made such a film,” Renfield ate his pork fried rice, “Perhaps he was pressured to make it because he didn’t want certain embarrassing public details released about him.”
“What details would those be?” Amadeus munched on his egg rolls.
“He apparently visited Jeffrey Epstein’s Manhattan mansion on several occasions,” Renfield started eating his sweet and sour shrimp balls, “and today the Washington Examiner newspaper reported that the notorious child predator George Nader visited Bannon in the White House at least 13 times during the 7 months that Bannon served as White House Chief Strategist.”
“You mean Bannon might have…” Amadeus stopped eating.
Renfield took a shot of whisky, “If my theory about Epstein being a Mossad operative is correct and Epstein used his sex trafficking operation not only to make money and satisfy his own sexual perversions but also used that operation to blackmail and extort members of the U.S. and world elites into giving political support to Israel, then we must remember that the Israelis and the Chinese are the world’s 2 major rivals when it comes to developing 5G networks. The U.S. has been fast asleep in research and development when it comes to 5G. The Israelis have been working on it since 2008 and have become way ahead of everybody else. They’ve been doing it quietly and with very little fanfare. Benjamin Netanyahu only started openly boasting about it this year. That’s why Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman (whom I’ve nicknamed Mohammad bone Sawman ever since the Khashoggi incident at the Saudi consultate in Istanbul last year) has sold the Palestinians down River (or down the desert sands) in order to hitch himself to the Israeli high tech wagon. His planned autonomous high tech city state enclave that he’s planning in the Tabuk Province of
northwestern Saudi Arabia that he’s named NEOM will need Israel’s advanced science and technology to get off the ground. The only one who’s come close to the Israelis in developing 5G technology are the Chinese and Huawei. Thus it’s very suspicious that Bannon decides to make a film casting the Chinese and Huawei in a very bad light especially for someone known to have visited Epstein’s Manhattan mansion. The choice the world faces when it comes to adopting 5G technology is do they want the Israelis or the Chinese to spy on them? Of course we know Donald Trump’s answer. Because a right wing libertarian political commentator in a tweet told him so, Trump thinks he’s regarded by many Israeli Jews as the new King of Israel and the Second Coming of God. So of course Trump would prefer Israel rather than China to spy on the world. And that’s why Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou is being held in Vancouver British Columbia because King Trump’s State Department told the Canadians so. And as we know Dracul Van Helsing is not the Prime Minister of Canada to tell the U.S. State Department to stick it where the sun don’t shine.”
. . .
Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro was sitting in his high chair in the Brazilian Presidential Palace wearing a bib around his neck.
On his high chair tray directly in front of him was a baby soother that had been personally autographed for him by fellow infantile brat Donald J. Trump.
As Balsonaro threw his knife and fork across the room, he bawled, “I’m not going to accept $22 million in aid and assistance from the G-7 to help fight the Amazon rainforest fires unless French President Emmanuel Macron apologizes to me for personally insulting me. So there! Waaaaah!”.
. . .
11-year-old Sherrielock Rocher (the 2nd eldest daughter of Set Enterprises’ Chief Scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher) was telling her mother what she wanted for Christmas (even though that was 4 months away), “I want a Barbie and a GI Joe for Christmas.”
“But,” her mother asked, “Doesn’t Barbie come with Ken?”.
“No,” young Sherrielock Rocher shook her head with clear determination, “she fakes it with Ken. She comes with GI Joe.”
“Cadbury,” Mrs. Rocher looked at her husband, “I think Sherry should cut down the amount of time she spends on the Internet.
Dr. Cadbury Rocher agreed.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 27th
2019.
Renfield Discusses The Biarritz G-7 Summit, Trump Proposes To Nuke Hurricanes and Prince Andrew Issues Statement On Epstein
Renfield Discusses Biarritz G-7 Summit, Trump Proposes To Nuke Hurricanes and Prince Andrew Issues Statement On Epstein
“As Britain’s new Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering, why weren’t you at the G-7 Summit in Biarritz, France?” Amadeus Emanon asked his friend Renfield R. Renfield.
“Because Trump Administration officials objected to my being there,” Renfield answered.
“In the name of God (who isn’t Donald Trump), why?” Amadeus inquired.
“They were afraid that I’d punch the living daylights out of Donald Trump,” Renfield put on a pair of dark sunglasses.
“And would you have done so?” Amadeus questioned.
“Oh probably,” Renfield replied.
“I see Trump skipped the session where they discussed Climate Change,” Amadeus noted.
“He did, the silly ass,” Renfield acknowleged.
“And even though he wasn’t at the summit, I see Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro the Donald Trump of South America insulted Emmanuel Macron’s wife because summit host Macron convinced the G-7 nations to send money and equipment to help fight the massive Amazon rainforest fires,” Amadeus quoted an article.
“Yes, Bolsonaro was babbling about neo-colonialism, the silly ass,” Renfield sipped his glass of whisky, “forgetting that the Amazon rainforests are vitally important to the future of the entire planet. It’s because of stupid ass extreme nationalists of the Donald Trump style variety such as Bolsonaro that the peoples of the world might seriously consider getting rid of all forms of national sovereignty and pave the way for a one world government which would probably inevitably become an all encompassing Marxist-Leninist-Stalinist-Maoist global totalitarian state. So because of the Amazon rainforest fires, we might end up with a one world government and then with the upcoming Vatican Synod On The Amazon in October, we might end up with a one world religion.”
“Setting up the stage for the arrival of the False Prophet and the Antichrist,” Amadeus shivered.
“Just in time for next year’s G-7 summit to be held at Trump’s Doral Florida golf resort,” Renfield reflected, “Which reminds me I should really start working on my golf swing. His secret service agents used to joke that the late former U.S. President Gerald Ford might have made a truly deadly assassin with the way he hit his golf balls.”
. . .
Donald Trump informed the members of the press present, “I’ve asked our best government scientists to look into the possibility of using nuclear weapons to destroy hurricanes before they reach landfall.”
A bunch of toy glass marbles fell out of Trump’s pocket as he made the suggestion.
“Excuse me,” Donald Trump got down on the ground and started picking them up, “I seem to have lost all my marbles.”
. . .
Prince Andrew was standing at the top of the steps in front of a London repertory movie theatre which was showing the 1942 Classic Hollywood film Casablanca.
He was looking down at the news media on the steps below.
The Prince was standing next to a man who was dressed up as the Claude Rains movie character of Captain Louis Renault.
Said the Prince to the media, “I’m shocked! Shocked I tell you to find out that Jeffrey Epstein was a pedophile!”.
World famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes happened to be walking by at the time and she used one of her spiked stiletto heels to kick the non-illustrious Prince Andrew in the seat of the pants.
The kick sent the Prince tumbling down the steps and then tumbling down the sidewalk and then tumbling down the street where he fell down an open sewer hole.
After the Prince landed, he came face to face with a huge sewer rat.
The rat glared at him as if it were saying to itself, “Why of all the rat holes in all the world did he have to fall down this one?”.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 26th
2019.
Sherrielock Holmes and The Raven
Sherrielock Holmes and The Raven
The year was 1899.
And Sherrielock Holmes (the dominatrix lesser known twin sister of world famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes) was walking in the park with her scientist husband Dr. Louis Rocher (who, unbeknownst to both, was in fact the illegitimate son of the evil Prof. James Moriarty).
Dr. Rocher was demonstrating his latest invention – a camera capable of taking colour photos.
He took a picture of Sherrielock with a boastful talking raven who claimed to be the inspiration behind Edgar Allan Poe’s 1845 poem The Raven (a claim which if true the raven looked very good for his age).
He then took a picture of Sherrielock with a guinea pig.
Sherrielock was told by the raven that a close friend of the guinea pig- a red fox (who was a vegetarian- rare for his species) was in mortal danger.
The next day Sherrielock and Louis went to nearby woods and parkland to foil the fox hunt led by the notorious British fox hunter Lord Plumelington of Nausea in an effort to save the life of the guinea pig’s friend.
Lord Plumelington who was a practitioner of the dark arts had invoked Njord the Norse god of the winds to stop anyone from opposing his fox hunt.
Winds and water encircled Sherrielock like a typhoon.
A moment that Dr. Louis Rocher managed to capture on film.
And Sherrielock who was a skilled dominatrix became the first person in history to whip the wind.
She then jumped on a white horse and rode like the wind to upset Lord Plumelington of Nausea’s fox hunt sending his hounds scattering in every direction.
Sherrielock was indeed a true heroine and the fox was saved.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 25th
2019.
More of Pan Goatee’s Aesthetic Cleansing, Baphomet In Ottawa and Hel In London
More of Pan Goatee’s Aesthetic Cleansing, Baphomet In Ottawa and Hel In London
Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee had happily strolled into a shopping mall’s food court when suddenly his eyes were visually assaulted by the hideous repulsive sight of a fat ugly blimp, her equally hideous and repulsive thin ugly stoat looking younger sister and her younger brother (who though not ugly had a look of extreme stupidity on his face).
Goatee immediately beheaded the fat ugly blimp remarking, “Who keeps letting the dogs out in this city?”.
The satyr then used his astral laser machete to behead the thin ugly stoat looking younger sister commenting, “I hope you realize that New Age guru Anthony Robbins’ Develop A Sense of High Self-Esteem crap definitely doesn’t apply to you.”
As he kicked the heads into the nearby garbage can, Goatee then turned his attention to the stupid looking younger brother.
“Now you’re not ugly,” Goatee noted as he beheaded the kid, “but judging from the stupid looking expression on your face, I’d say you’d more than likely have carnal relations with an ugly looking woman that I dare say your most likely equally stupid looking father did allowing more ugly offspring to enter the world contributing to the aesthetic pollution of this planet. The Amazon rainforests are burning and brainless men are having sex with uglos. What is this world coming to?”.
. . .
What the world was coming to was that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau would not be marching with the demon Baphomet at the front of the Gay Pride Parade in Ottawa tomorrow as he would be attending the G-7 Summit in France.
He had been walking with Baphomet at the front of Gay Pride Parades in cities across Canada all summer.
A chapter of the Satanic Temple that had started up in Ottawa recently and had held a satanic Black Mass in the Canadian capital a couple of weeks ago did err when they said it was their actions that were responsible for Baphomet participating in the Gay Pride Parade in Ottawa tomorrow.
As Baphomet had been doing it with the Canadian Prime Minister in numerous cities across Canada all summer.
Although tomorrow he would be doing it by himself.
Besides the satanic Black Mass held in Ottawa a couple of weeks ago was not actually supernaturally efficacious as the person presiding over the ceremony was not a defrocked Catholic priest.
These days most Satan worshipping Catholic priests were not defrocked.
They were either promoted to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops or even elevated to the Vatican College of Cardinals.
The only exception to this rule was Theodore (ex-Cardinal) McCarrick who was defrocked by Pope Francis earlier this year.
That was because the ex-Cardinal McCarrick had committed the unforgivable ecclesiastical sin of actually being caught for his actions.
Had that not happened, McCarrick would have probably continued to negotiate treaties as bad as the recent Vatican-Beijing Pact which placed the Catholic Church in China under the control of the totalitarian despot Xi Jinping.
The same of course applied to Mossad operatives and blackmail and extortion provocateurs such as Jeffrey Epstein.
You can do reprehensible actions but make sure you don’t get caught for them.
Meanwhile one of Justin Trudeau’s butt kissing cabinet ministers Ralph Goodale the Minister of Public Safety (a ministry whose name was no doubt inspired by Robespierre’s Committee of Public Safety) had recently tweeted a video showing Canadian Federal Conservative Party leader Andrew Scheer giving a speech in the House of Commons as a freshman MP from 15 years ago.
In the speech, Scheer pointed out that same-sex marriage couples were incapable of biologically reproducing children on their own (something which of course is a scientific fact and therefore peculiar to most Canadian Federal Liberals who are incapable of understanding scientific facts).
Scheer’s remarks caused a moronic spokescreature for Ottawa’s LGBTQ community to snivel that he/she/it found Scheer’s remarks deeply offensive (thus providing more solid empirical evidence for British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s claim that there are numerous idiots in the modern contemporary world who actually deserve to be offended).
. . .
Meanwhile at a cemetery in London, Hel the Norse goddess of the Underworld was sitting atop a grave waiting for the Norse trickster god Loki to show up for a meeting to discuss how they could arrange maximum chaos in both Britain and Europe in the event of a No-Deal Brexit.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 24th
2019.
Musical Instruments, Hazardous Vegetables, Amazon Rainforest and The Russian Spy Beluga Whale Defector
Musical Instruments, Hazardous Vegetables, Amazon Rainforest and The Russian Spy Beluga Whale Defector
British MP Renfield R. Renfield asked his friend Amadeus Emanon, “Did you hear what happened to the saxophonist who played his musical instrument so badly?”.
“No,” Amadeus shook his head.
“He became a registered sax offender,” Renfield replied.
Amadeus buried his head in his hands.
Meanwhile down at the Set Enterprises aquarium, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a vision of Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro wearing a long Roman toga, a crown of laurel wreath in his hair (much like that worn by the Emperor Nero) and holding in his hands a violin which he was playing badly as the Amazon rainforests burned.
Meanwhile in the waters off the coast of Norway, tragedy struck the Russian spy beluga whale defector who had recently defected to the Norwegians with the help of the ghost of Orson Welles.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 23rd
2019.
Amazon On Fire
Amazon On Fire
London-based private eyes Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie sat in the New York City office of Lev Tomi the Secretary-General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change.
Unbeknownst to Magog and Agathor, Lev Tomi was a vampire.
Hence the reason for the late night meeting.
During his mortal life, Lev Tomi had been the Russian Communist Leon Trotsky.
Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie had recently been deported from Argentina as their investigation into a sex trafficking ring (with possible close ties to the Vatican) was getting a little too close for the powers that be behind the curtains who were secretly running the world.
“Gentlemen,” Lev Tomi took off his wire rimmed spectacles and wiped them, “I want you to go down to Brazil and investigate and find out who’s responsible for setting all the wild fires that are currently burning up the Amazon rain forests which are the lungs of planet Earth.”
“Well according to Jair Bolsonaro the President of Brazil, the ones who set the fires are the NGOs of Brazil since his government slashed funding to them,” Magog noted.
“And do you believe him?” Lev Tomi stroked his dark goatee beard.
“No,” Magog shook his head, “They don’t call him the Donald Trump of Brazil for nothing.”
“Will you take the case?” Tomi asked.
“We will,” Magog agreed.
. . .
Meanwhile at the Vatican, Cardinal JM (which was his code name) the head of the Vatican Secret Intelligence Service was secretly pleased about the wild fires happening in the Amazon rain forest.
The reason was the upcoming Synod On The Amazon which was being held at the Vatican this coming October.
Cardinal JM and his fellow pagan cardinals at the Vatican (which was actually a great many of them) were hoping to use that synod to overturn 2000 years of Catholic doctrine and liturgy.
And they were hoping to use the ecological crisis facing the Amazon region of South America to be able to do just that.
. . .
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson and French President Emmanuel Macron were meeting in Paris to discuss Brexit and the question of the Irish backstop on the Republic of Ireland/Northern Ireland border.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel in her meeting with Johnson in Berlin yesterday said that if Johnson could come up with a solution to the Irish backstop problem within 30 days, she would be willing to listen.
Macron, on the other hand, like most pompous and arrogant French leaders, was not so accommodating.
Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who liked to drink and sleep with part of his body on one half of the Irish border and the other part of his body on the other) watched the Johnson-Macron meeting live on his Samsung Galaxy tablet while drinking from a large keg of Jameson Whiskey and recalling how he had once saved all of Ireland from the Prussian invasion of 1807.
Or was it the Napoleonic invasion of 1808?
He always got those two years and two invasions mixed up for some reason.
The leprechaun fell asleep.
. . .
The Byzantine vampiress Theodora was wearing a red Italian Renaissance era style dress and walking down the steps and corridors of the ancient Italian city of Ravenna.
She smiled when she saw Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing approach.
“Your Vampiric Majesty,” Dracul greeted her, “I need your help in stopping Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s Turkish army from invading northern Syria and massacring Kurds and Christians.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 22nd
2019.
Dracul Van Helsing 
Satanic Rock Stars, Justin Trudeau, Trump Vs. Dorian and DARPA Looks For Tunnels
August 29, 2019 at 10:57 pm (Commentary, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (DARPA, Donald Trump, Harvey Tallbanger, Hurricane Dorian, Justin Trudeau, Puerto Rico, Renfield R. Renfield, The State of Florida, Underworld of Hades, Zeus' Kraken Cometh)
Satanic Rock Stars, Justin Trudeau, Trump Vs. Dorian and DARPA Looks For Tunnels
“Teaching the doctrine of the actual real existence of Hell was the biggest defect in Jesus Christ’s character.”
-Bertrand Russell
“So, what are you looking at on the Net?” Amadeus Emanon asked his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.
“At a news item that Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande and a bunch of other demonically inspired losers in today’s music industry are planning a rock concert Rock Stars For Murdering Babies,” Renfield replied.
“Do they intend that to be the Woodstock of the year 2019?” Inquired a shocked Amadeus.
“Oh, most likely,” Renfield nodded.
. . .
Meanwhile in Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was issuing a blistering attack on Federal Conservative Party leader Andrew Scheer.
Foamed Trudeau as his head spun around 360 degrees and he spewed out French green pea soup in Linda Blair style fashion, “Mr. Scheer does not support the values of the demons Baal and Baphomet. For as we all know the values of Baal and Baphomet are Canadian values. How do we know they’re Canadian values? Because being the cultural Marxist and progressive Fascist that I am, I say that they are Canadian values. To disagree with me and my fellow anal retentive social justice warriors is high treason and constitutes hate crimes of the highest magnitude.”
. . .
In Britain, the pro-EU group Best For Britain (financed by leftist billionaire George Soros) said that in lieu of Queen Elizabeth II granting UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s request for proroguing Parliament, what happened to King Charles 1st 370 years ago in 1649 might happen to the Queen this year.
. . .
Donald Trump (speaking to the news media after having wiped cream pie off his face some 24 hours earlier), “As we all know the people of Florida face the possibility of Hurricane Dorian barrelling down on top of them over the Labour Day weekend. We in this Administration will joyously and happily give them all the support, aid and money that they need should disaster happen. After all, it’s not the people of Florida’s fault that they live in an area often hit by hurricanes. And even more importantly I own a lot of resorts and golf courses in Florida. Whereas of course I don’t own any resorts or golf courses in Puerto Rico. I could stand to lose a lot of money if anything happens to my property in Florida. This would truly be a tragedy for this great nation if that were to occur. And someday, the Norse god Thor willing, I shall own a resort and golf course in Greenland.”
Trump then boarded a helicopter where another cream pie was thrown in his face by the 6 foot 8 tall invisible bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger.
“Shit! Not again!” Trump cried out.
. . .
Yesterday Wednesday August 28th DARPA (the Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency) also known as the “Mad Scientists’ Wing of the Pentagon” put out a twitter tweet asking for a city based tunnel the size of a shopping centre with several layers and maybe even a few atriums to it be made available to them (DARPA) as soon as possible and please let them know by Friday August 30th 2019 at 5:00 PM (DARPA local time).
The strange request which only a James Bond super villain or Lex Luthor or The Joker (from Batman) would probably be able to fulfill did receive a few replies.
Someone asked if DARPA was looking for Demogorgon (a character from the Dungeons and Dragons role playing game known by his titles “Prince of Demons” and “Lord of All That Swims In Darkness”).
DARPA tweeted back that “Demogorgon was a Department of Energy thing” not a DARPA thing.
Justin Trudeau was secretly pleased by the amount of Canadian cannabis that DARPA and U.S. Department of Energy employees were consuming.
. . .
“Not believing in the actual real existence of Hell was the biggest defect in Bertrand Russell’s character.”
-Renfield R. Renfield
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 29th
2019.
Permalink 19 Comments