The Last Hours of Strawberry Fields Forever

September 5, 2019 at 11:04 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Last Hours of Strawberry Fields Forever

“Performing live human sacrifices to Moloch is the way we can stop climate change from giving hot flashes to Earth Mother Goddess Gaia.”

-Bernie Sanders, senile socialist Democratic Party candidate for President of the U.S.

CNN’s Anderson Cooper: At a campaign stop today, Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders was hit in the face with a cream pie thrown at him by an invisible entity.
Although according to Harvey Wallbanger drinking secret service agents assigned to guard Sanders (who’s no relation to the beloved Kentucky colonel who invented KFC), it was a 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit who threw the cream pie.

. . .

Meanwhile up in Canada, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was quite impressed with a British House of Lords friend of Renfield R. Renfield singing a song in the House of Lords about British Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn miraculously growing a pair of testicles.

Trudeau thought it might be cool if he miraculously grew a pair of testicles as well.

So Justin imagined what it would be like if he had a pair of testicles.

Picturing himself with a sudden shot of testosterone, Justin gave a blistering speech attacking China for holding two Canadians Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor hostage in return for the release of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou from Canada.

Said Trudeau who imagined himself as a Québécois John Wayne riding tall in the saddle, “Beijing is using pressure tactics. China is using arbitrary detention as a tool to achieve political goals.”

Of course Justin never mentioned that his personal pet pot smoking cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever was also being held hostage by Chinese authorities in return for the release of Meng Wanzhou.

“This is unacceptable to Canada,” Justin preached to the editorial board of the Toronto Star newspaper.

Of course Justin’s new found Sylvester Stallone style Rambo act went over like a lead balloon with China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping and his supernatural entity advisor the Black Dragon.

With the music of Led Zeppelin’s Stairway To Heaven playing in the background, the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu entered the prison cell of Strawberry Fields Forever where he was being held in a re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in the Xinjiang region of northwest China.

She had a pair of pliers and pair of scissors with her.

As the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (the granddaughter of Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh) filmed the whole thing, Mei-ling Manchu ripped and peeled the little desert cactus plant to pieces as it uttered blood curdling screams.

Ho uploaded the video to Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.

The pieces were then put in a box and sent via Amazon parcel delivery to Justin’s home in Ottawa.

The Chinese authorities wisely did not use Canada Post as it would probably take another 70 years before the package reached its destination.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday September 5th

Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu having a refreshing cocktail after having dismembered Strawberry Fields Forever the pet pot smoking cactus plant of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.


  1. George F. said,

    Bernie Sanders, senile socialist Democratic Party candidate for President of the U.S. LOL you call it as you see it! LOL!

  2. odell01 said,

    Strong chapter. The real Prime Minister Trudeau is certainly a good-looking man, although your satirical characterization of the famed Canadian plays second fiddle to the picture of the vicious vampiress!

  3. Hyperion said,

    After I scrolled down to the bottom of the page and got a load from of Mei-Ling, I forgot what I just read but I did notice she had her Hanwei iPhone clone close at hand on the table. This was a great and hilarious read as I pictured Justin blowing on his thumb in order to inflate his testicles. The horror scene of poor Strawberry Fields’ dismemberment was truly goose bumping as I imagined the terror in Justin’s airy new testicles hiding in his bootie crack to avoid the vampiress’ scissors. And Old Bernie! What great and picturesque tabloid news he’ll make as he dances naked in front of the sacrificial fires of Moloch. America deserves Bernie.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, I imagine your screen got a load of something after you got a load of Mei-ling. 😂

      And no doubt you were hoping you still had a load of Sherrielock’s Bavarian Magic Mushroom Stain Remover and Screen Cleaner in the cabinet below the sink.

      Yes, Bernie dancing naked in front of the sacrificial fires of Moloch on the front lawn of the White House as CNN’S Anderson Cooper totally loses his lunch in the foreground will be an image forever emblazoned in the minds of the next generation.

      Which is why this next generation will be humanity’s last.

      • Hyperion said,

        You read my mind with such clarity. Maybe you can see where I left my magic mushroom cleaner. I think Bernie the naked president will ensure the next generation is the last and it might as well be. That would help keep things from getting worse.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        As Bernie Sanders gets his a–hole washed out with Magic Mushroom Cleaner on the front lawn of the White House.

        What a way to go!

        The world will end not with a bang but with a poop!

      • Hyperion said,

        A wet splattery ploop which causes an instant shoe fashion change for the SS agents guarding the GOO from leather to rubber pull ons.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        As they say when it’s raining brown in San Francisco, don’t forget to put your rubbers on.

      • Hyperion said,

        It is truly carpetgeddon if you don’t 🤧💩

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        If Charlie Chaplin was alive making his Hitler parody movie The Great Dictator today, at the beginning of the film where Hykyll dictator of Tomania makes his famous speech saying, “Monarchy stunk. Aristocracy stunk. Oligarchy stunk. Democracy stunk.”, he’d be adding another line, “The streets of San Francisco stunk.”

        And actor Michael Douglas would be very thankful that he left television and got into movies.

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaa haaa haaaa! It is rumored that those passengers flying into SF can smell it in the cabin of their aircraft while 10 miles away at 10,000 feet above the earth. Soon, the dung heap will be so high and wide, no one will believe that Mount Whitney is the tallest mountain in the U.S. territories.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The Great Bowel Movement of San Francisco will be an even more pre-eminent sight than the Great Wall of China when viewed from space aboard the International Space Station.

      • Hyperion said,

        sF will look like a brown python from space.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        A crappy Ouroboros swallowing its own tail.

      • Hyperion said,

        It seems like fate. 🙄

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        A fate whose thread will definitely be cut.

      • Hyperion said,

        LoL. There is always hope and Set, the billionare Egyptian vampire, and his employees along with Sherrielock Holmes to help shape the future of a better world.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, they and Sherrielock might be able to whip the world back in shape. 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        I’m putting all my hope in Sherrielock’s riding crop and her strong right arm.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It’s the hand that tomatoes the bottom that rocks the world. 😂

      • Hyperion said,

        Ha ha ha ha! And bad boys gonna get there world rocked!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And the leaders of NATO will be singing, “Rockin’ in the free world…”

      • Hyperion said,

        …To the heavy metal clank of Russian tanks

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        … who won the battle quite easily
        cause of so many Transgenders in Western ranks.

      • Hyperion said,

        It was the militant ANTIFA soy boys that when suddenly faced by real men of Slavic and Viking ancestry turned tail and ran home to their mothers to play video games and sip hot chocolate soy milk to soothe their terrified minds hoping the Army of Pootin would pass them by to ferret out their imaginary enemy, the caucasian conservative Christisn taxpayer. Methinks it didn’t go as hoped.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And they all died clutching copies of Barack Obama’s real birth certificate (stamped with a Nairobi Bureau of Records stamp) that were dropped on them by Russian Air Force pilots.

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaa haaa haaaa! Fate is inexorable. Irony is not.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Indeed. 😀

  4. velvetscreams said,

    Missed some of your lovely works dracul😖 i will surely read up but i really enjoyed this👍

  5. David Redpath said,

    I note that Babylon Ho failed to inform
    Mei-ling Manchu that a green thumbed
    Australian had managed to propagate,
    not one, but two healthy cacti, with a
    cutting taken from Strawberry Fields.
    I wonder if she’s playing both sides
    against each other? As she is very good
    on both sides, and always seems to
    come out on top 😎

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, and how are the two little cacti doing?

      I seem to have forgotten their names as they seemed to have changed their names when they entered their teen years?

      • David Redpath said,

        Mellow Yellow & Material Girl are
        happily secretated at the Karanda
        Butterfly House in North Australia.
        But that’s on a need to know basis.

      • David Redpath said,

        And they’ve settled down to Cactus
        adulthood since Uncle Ernie stopped
        using them for vaping 😎

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It’s a miracle that Uncle Ernie is still alive after all that vaping.

        There have been numerous news stories this past week of numerous young people keeling over in the U.S. from vaping e-cigarettes.

        Mind you I don’t know whether it was marijuana smoking cactus plants they were vaping.

        As the Dr. Cadbury Rocher genetically created pot smoking smoking desert cactus plant created for Justin Trudeau’s personal enjoyment was the only one of its kind in the world and Mellow Yellow and Material Girl the only known clippings.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Oh yes.

        And what was Mellow Yellow’s original name?

        Was it Octopi Garden?

        And I believe Material Girl’s original name if I remember it correctly was Octopi Wall Street?

      • David Redpath said,

        Yes, the twins went through a bit of
        a rebellious teenage phase. But it
        was understandable since we found
        out that Uncle Ernie was pouring
        copious amounts of Jim Bean and
        his prescription cough medicine
        into their flower pots to enhance
        the vapours. He really is a dirty old
        rotter, that Uncle Ernie.

      • David Redpath said,

        Correct, Chris … I think?
        That time was all a hazy blur
        for some reason. Things have
        cleared up greatly since we had
        to send the Octopi Twins off in
        hiding, at Babylon Ho’s insistence.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I understand Xi Jinping and his supernatural entity advisor the Black Dragon would like to see nothing less than the death of the Octopi twins.

  6. David Redpath said,

    Yes, unfortunately the local
    Federation of Chinese-Australians
    Association, a group committed to
    “the Ancestral Nation’s dignity and
    interests”, have been seen lurking
    around the Karanda Butterfly House.
    So I’m afraid Mellow Yellow and
    Material Girl will have to be moved
    again. Just don’t know how they
    found out 🤔

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Maybe Uncle Ernie told them after consuming too many cans of Foster’s in a Chinese restaurant.

      • David Redpath said,

        He does often hang out a lot
        at the Wun Hung Lo restaurant? 😕

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I’ve heard that one of the hazards of vaping Jim Bean and marijuana together is a really bad cough which can lead to, in men, a misplaced testicle.

      • David Redpath said,

        Well, Uncle Ernie is always fiddling
        about like he’s looking for something?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Does he often appear in court on public mischief and inappropriate conduct charges?

      • David Redpath said,

        Uncle Ernie is being chemically
        castrated by court order, to protect
        the innocent. The only problem is
        Uncle Ernie has never met a
        chemical he didn’t like 😎

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No doubt, he’d have enjoyed meeting Chemical Ali in Iraq.

      • David Redpath said,

        An interesting coincidence, Chris.
        Ali Hassan Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti,
        better known as Chemical Ali, was
        Saddam Hussein’s cousin. Back
        when Babylon Ho, as a young girl,
        was adopted out to the Hussein
        family the communist Vietnamese
        government, Chemical Ali was but
        one of her many naughty uncles 🚷

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Chemical Ali was a very naughty uncle indeed.

      • David Redpath said,

        Baby Ho still moans about Uncle Ali
        experimenting with chemical warefare
        on her pet gerbil 🐭😥

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Awful. 😢

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: