Supreme Idiot Justin Trudeau and The Blackface Affair: Once Was Not Enough

September 19, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Supreme Idiot Justin Trudeau and The Blackface Affair: Once Was Not Enough

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was on the phone talking to his good friend the Chinese Communist vampiress and intelligence operative Mei-ling Manchu.

“So, you mean to say, Mei-ling,” Renfield had himself another shot of Old Taylor bourbon, “that it was you who leaked that old school yearbook photo of Justin Trudeau dressed in brown face at the school Arabian Nights Theme Party to TIME Magazine?”.

“It was,” Mei-ling painted her nails with a crocodile’s tooth dipped in Canadian business men’s blood red coloured nail polish, “we also leaked two other photos today. One was a photo of him in High School dressed up to look like Harry Belafonte and committing musical homicide on the song Day-o. That one he admitted to. The other was a photo he had forgotten about where he was dressed up as what the 1980s Thriller era Michael Jackson would have looked like if the 1980s Thriller era Michael Jackson had actually looked black instead of white.”

“Gives a whole new meaning to Vincent Price’s spoken words “Darkness falls across the land”,” Renfield had to admit.

“The midnight hour is close at hand,” Mei-ling turned over her blood red sands filled hour glass, “anyways we’ve got a bunch of other photos of him dressed in blackface which we plan to release in the next few days.”

“Justin has said he’s now forgotten the amount of times he might have put on blackface,” Renfield noted.

“He could blame it on smoking marijuana but then he told the media he only smoked marijuana once,” Mei-ling started putting on black widow spider’s black poison on her eyelashes as mascara.

“And his pot smoking cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever is now no more,” Renfield helped himself to some strawberries and whipped cream.

“Yes and our People’s Republic Ministry of State Security operatives are currently scouring the Australian countryside in search of Strawberry Fields Forever’s two twin cactus clippings children,” Mei-ling ate a fried kangaroo’s leg sandwich.

“Why does the Chinese Communist Party have it in for Justin Trudeau?” Renfield ate some frogs’ legs.

“Because that weasel refuses to release Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou from Canadian soil,” Mei-ling started eating some weasel pie.

“I guess this is what happens to Justin for spreading his derrière across both sides of the U.S. political spectrum,” Renfield ate his peanut butter and jam sandwich, “First he’s Barack Obama’s ‘bitch’ one minute. And then he’s Donald Trump’s ‘bitch’ the next.”

“Just wait until we release the photos of him dressed as Charlie Chan the Chinese detective (always played by Caucasians) movie character of the 1930s and 1940s,” Mei-ling ate her San Francisco chop suey and drank her Hawaiian coconut milk.

“Justin once played Inspector Charlie Chan?” Renfield was shocked.

“He did,” Mei-ling fanned her breasts with the severed fingers of Harvey Weinstein’s lesser known twin brother.

“I thought for someone like Justin, it would be more appropriate if he played the role of Number Two son,” Renfield mused aloud.

. . .

Justin Trudeau showed up at the media scrummage dressed in blackface and tearfully admitted, “I can’t remember how many times I’ve dressed in blackface.”

“Why are you dressed in blackface now?” A reporter asked.

“I don’t find that remark very funny,” Justin commented as the charcoal watered down his face like Niagara Falls.

When an aide signalled to Justin that the reporter was in fact correct, the Canadian Prime Minister screamed for a mirror to be brought to him.

Grabbing the mirror and seeing his own reflection, Justin remarked, “Oh shit. My wife Sophie was correct when she told me that I had put on way too much makeup this evening.”

. . .

Down at the Canadian Federal Liberal Party headquarters in Ottawa, a member of the National Liberal Party Executive was telephoning world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes (the quite literally immortal lesser known twin sister of Sherlock Holmes) and asking her if she could come to Canada and tomato Justin Trudeau’s buttocks in an effort to stop him from coming across as a fool and having bimbo eruptions in public.

“Well that’s quite the impossible task you’re asking me to do,” Sherrielock admitted, “but then as Don Quixote sang in the musical Man of La Mancha, “To dream the impossible dream…”

Sherrielock Holmes: About to take on a next to impossible task?

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday September 19th
2019.

39 Comments

  1. Tiffany Choong said,

    Captivating 🤣

  2. David Redpath said,

    Poor Margaret Trudeau!
    I hear Justin is now resorting to
    the Mammy Excuse. And I quote;

    “I know I shouldn’t have done it,
    but … 🎶 Mammy ..
    My little Mammy
    I’d walk a million miles
    for one of your smiles
    my Mammy! 🎶”

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, as Justin Trudeau’s alter ego put it, “You ain’t heard nothing yet…”

      • David Redpath said,

        And Chris, have no fear for the
        Cacti Twins. I’ve just returned
        from a top secret mission, code
        named ‘Operation Transplant’, to
        relocate Mellow Yellow, and his
        mercenary sister, Material Girl.
        They had a very pleasant stay
        at the Kuranda Butterfly House,
        as the tropical climate agreed
        with them. But ASIO had a tip off
        that situation was heating up.
        Since I had drive them to their
        new location hidden under the
        passenger seat, I’m afraid the
        fumes got to me, and I now have
        no idea where I left them?
        Perhaps I should’ve followed Bill
        Clinton’s example, and not inhaled?
        Or at least wound down the window.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Rolling down the window would have been an excellent idea.

        Oh well at least they’re now in a place where nobody knows they are.

      • David Redpath said,

        I did find a parking ticket in the
        glove box, that I had no recollection
        of, issued in Sydney’s Chinatown.
        Best keep that to yourself, Chris👍

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Sydney’s Chinatown.

        I’ll remember that.

  3. yassy said,

    But that was so long ago , I am sure Justin is s mature person now. You can’t hold against a person what they did in their youth. Just sayin

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Nope.

      But the trouble is Justin in this campaign has brought out things that his opponents said and did 15 to 20 years ago in an effort to discredit them.

      And now… this has come out.

      Justin has been hoisted by his own petard.

      If he hadn’t done unto others, it probably wouldn’t have been done unto him.

      Christ told people to beware of the beams in their own eyes before setting out to remove the motes from others’ eyes.

      • yassy said,

        Okay. I didn’t know he had done that before to his rivals.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, sadly he had.

      • yassy said,

        Well, that is so out of character , who would have thought, but anyways thank you for the feedback. I am more enlightened now.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Justin has always had the ability to put on a good front.

      • yassy said,

        Had me fooled .

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        He was a Drama teacher before he went into politics so he mastered his technique.

        Just like appearing on so-called Reality TV shows over a decade ago, Trump fine tuned audience manipulation skills.

      • yassy said,

        lol

  4. Hyperion said,

    I think we shouldn’t get our pirates pantaloons in a uproar over this. We had the same political buffoonery in North America throughout our collective history starting with the French, Spanish, and English clamor to bugger each other out of their colony profits born of good rape and pillage techniques mastered in the post Roman era. It’s all meant in jest and when elections are over, the graff and corruption can renew old ties and conflagrate into a roaring good autoerotic profiteering run until the next election. The GOO is a master business man known for grabbing cootch and cash with the gusto of a hound dog on a ham bone and he also knows that war is good for the economy so while we pursue extraordinary wealth through viking like explorations of foreign soils for the next few centuries, Canada is left trying to figure out how they can get in on the game. Well, loyal bitchery is a way to get one’s foot in the door. And you might be interested that Sydney Australia’s Chinatown was one of the first Black Dragon enclaves established after the fall of the usurper Manchu Empress of the Chin dynasty in 1912. Yes, there you will find a cornucopia of Dragon Sisters hiding in plain sight. Canada was not so lucky due to a frosty climate but with climate change ensuring Canada will become the new Arizona of the north, the potential is very good that the Dragons will move in and establish a well ordered economic and political climate to go along with Canada’s desert climate. (No facts or truths were harmed during the bloviation of these opinions)

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      That’s interesting, Daniel.

      I remember reading A History of The Chinese Intelligence Service back as a teenager and apparently it was a tea warehouse in the Chinatown district of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada that Sun Yat-sen (he apparently visited Edmonton on a couple of occasions) used as a major storage facility for his guns and a center for his gun smuggling operations throughout North America to smuggle guns from North America to China for his Nationalist revolution.

      He thought using an American city or a city on Canada’s West Coast as the base of his gun smuggling operation would be under too much scrutiny.

      So he used Edmonton.

      • Hyperion said,

        The Chinese were very clever in hiding their intent in plain site. Plus they established insular places to live in every major city. They feared the loyalists would wipe them out so they distributed thier forces widely and continued their secret training to some day go back and win Beijing back from the usurpers. Thus, the Dragon Sisters were established as the Preatorian Guard to look after the most important Dragon Masters. Westerners discounted demure Chinese women as being guardians of the Dragon Empire. Surprise!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I’m longing to be surprised in that manner.

      • Hyperion said,

        It will happen when you are truly ready. Your eyes will tell the young sister, “you are the one in the prophecy.” And she will accomodate you nicely.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Very much looking forward to it. 😍

  5. annieasksyou said,

    This stuff with young Trudeau is all so disappointing to those of us who look northward for a little comity and civility in political so-called leaders. Perhaps it’s a useful reminder to you that it’s probably impossible to to top our reigning dictator-in-the-making during these anni horribili (did I get that right?).

    Enjoyed the references to musical homicide of Belafonte’s day-o and the Michael Jackson confusion.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Trump seems to be using the play book Julius Caesar used to turn Rome from a Republic into an Empire.

      The Donald seems to ignore the fact that it ended badly for Julius.

      He was assassinated by the Senate before he could make himself Emperor and it was Julius’ nephew and adopted son Octavian who became the 1st Roman Emperor Augustus.

      So it may be Jared Kushner who becomes the 1st American Emperor.

      Yes Harry Belafonte along with Peter, Paul and Mary and the Irish group Tommy Makem and The Clancy Brothers were my favourite singers as a kid.

      • annieasksyou said,

        Heaven forfend! (Jared as Emperor…) Anyway, Ivanka would never allow it; she plans to extend the trump dynasty by becoming President. And she’s done so well asserting herself into international meetings with her non-security clearance. The nation and the world await…

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes Ivanka might pull an Empress Livia and feed Jared a unique culinary dish of mushrooms if Jared got in the way of her plans.

  6. Luna(tik) Enigma said,

    This was an excellent read
    Thank you!

  7. annieasksyou said,

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, he claims his privilege made him do it.

      He inherited that from his father Pierre Elliot I guess who was the son of a millionaire Quebec gas station owner.

      During World War II, Pierre Elliot was a notorious draft dodger in Montreal who went around riding a motorcycle wearing a Prussian military helmet on his head and giving people the Nazi Heil Hitler salute.

      Like father, like son I guess.

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