Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman In New York City

September 22, 2019 at 11:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman In New York City

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman was in New York City.

The Sheriff wasn’t quite sure what he was doing in the Big Apple.

The dining room chef ordered Jackman out of the huge fruit salad that he was making.

Sheriff Stonedwall beat a hasty retreat.

All Jackman could remember was that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had sent him to NYC on a matter of important national security.

Only the Sheriff couldn’t remember what that important matter of national security was.

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman had led an interesting life.

He had been born in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada on Friday May 10th 1940 the same day that Winston Churchill had become Prime Minister of Great Britain.

His girlfriend the love of his life had broken up with him on Dominion Day (as it was then called) July 1st 1967 on the Main Street of Moose Jaw when he accidentally ran over her Love Bug Volkswagen with his farm tractor while looking for a place to park.

Furious, she had shoved his engagement ring in the place where the sun never shone.

Moose Jaw which wasn’t big enough to have a practicing proctologist in the city saw Thomas Jonathan Jackman buy a Greyhound Bus ticket to the Big City.

It turns out the Big City that Thomas Jonathan Jackman had bought a Greyhound bus ticket to was Vancouver, British Columbia on Canada’s West Coast.

Just as the U.S. Summer of Love (Summer of ’67) was about to begin in San Francisco, California so Canada’s Summer of Love was about to begin on British Columbia’s Lower Mainland and Vancouver Island.

Eating a dozen pieces of rhubarb pie during a Greyhound bus pit stop at a diner in Chilliwack British Columbia had cured Jackman’s need of finding a proctologist in downtown Vancouver.

And Thomas Jonathan Jackman found himself celebrating U.S. Independence Day of 1967 by smoking weed and inhaling chemicals with a group of hippies on Vancouver’s East Hastings Street.

Somehow by July 6th 1967 (the 20th Anniversary of the alleged Roswell New Mexico UFO space craft crash), Jackman had found himself in the Village of Calypso’s Bosom which was a New Age Aquarian hippy commune on British Columbia’s Sechelt Peninsula not far from the town of Sechelt itself.

On July 22nd of that year 1967, Thomas Jonathan Jackman had earned his name Stonedwall when he hit his head against a brick wall in the village while stoned.

No one was quite sure how the brick wall got there but according to the village’s visionary and prophet (who was later carried off by a pterodactyl on Christmas Day of that same year), the slab of brick wall had come from the future and was the inaugural piece of some wall that had been officially inaugurated on the U.S. – Mexico border by some golden urine hair coloured toupee wearing bozo named Donald Trump sometime in the early 2020s according to the said visionary’s visions.

The piece of wall was later destroyed when a cloud had rained several thousand tons of Mexican tamales from heaven.

On August 1st Lammas Night of 1967, after the character of the Devil from a future Susan Howatch novel had appeared to villagers, Thomas Jonathan “Stonedwall” Jackman was elected Sheriff of the Village of Calypso’s Bosom.

Not of course that the laws of Her Majesty Elizabeth II Queen of Canada were ever enforced in the village of Calypso’s Bosom as the primary diet consisted of marijuana (whose use was then illegal in Canada) as well as various chemical substances (whose use was still illegal today).

1967 soon became 1968 and 1968 soon became 1969 and all the years became blended into one like Lonesome Charlie’s blended milkshake of frogs and tequila (which drained a nearby swamp of its frog population and a nearby BC Government Liquor Store of its tequila products) which no one but Lonesome Charlie drank (thus earning him the epithet Lonesome Charlie).

Everything changed for the village of Calypso’s Bosom on the evening of July 20th/21st 1969 when all the villagers had assembled in the Village Square in front of the village’s communal black and white television set to watch the Apollo 11 moon landing.

When Neil Armstrong walked down the ladder of the lunar module and spoke these words, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for….” the TV went off, all the village lights went off and the entire village of Calypso’s Bosom vanished into oblivion.

It would re-emerge again once every 7 years much like the Scottish village of Brigadoon rises out of the Scottish mist once every 100 years, so too does the Sechelt Peninsula New Age Aquarian hippy commune of Calypso’s Bosom emerge out of the marijuana haze once every 7 years.

Disappearing in 1969, it had re-emerged in 1976 and had watched a peanut farmer win the U.S. Democratic Presidential nomination.

7 years later in 1983, it watched the height of the Cold War as a former head of the KGB Yuri Andropov had become the head of the Soviet Union.

In 1990, it again re-emerged (not always on the exact anniversary of its disappearance) and watched George H.W. Bush give a speech proclaiming a New World Order in response to Saddam Hussein’s invasion of Kuwait.

In 1997, they watched Bill Clinton “not” having sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky as an Oval Office broadcast was transmitted to their communal black and white TV screen by a Jeffrey Epstein owned satellite.

In 2004, they watched John Kerry reporting for duty at the U.S. Democratic Party Presidential Convention.

In 2011, they watched the Arab Spring unfold before it turned into a radical militant Islamist Winter.

In 2018, they watched Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou being arrested at Vancouver International Airport on the orders of the U.S. government.

The period of rest for Calypso’s Bosom was interrupted by Chinese government agents bringing a pot smoking desert cactus plant named Strawberry Fields Forever to the village and a few months later, the same Chinese government agents were again interrupting the village’s sleep by seizing the pot smoking desert cactus plant and taking it to a government re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in the Xinjiang region of western China.

During that last interruption, Sheriff Stonewalled Jackman had foolishly left the commune of Calypso’s Village to take a swim on the beach at the town of Sechelt.

By the time he returned minus both his towel and his swimming trunks, the village had disappeared into the surrounding marijuana haze again.

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman then got a job in charge of airport security at Victoria Airport on Vancouver Island (Sheriff Jackman was hired because he looked much younger than his age since he had had so many 7 year periods of rest).

It was there this past September 12th that a robot had driven the Federal Liberal Party Campaign Bus into the Federal Liberal Party Campaign Plane.

After a conversation with an intelligent squirrel at the Airport, Sheriff Jackman had discovered that the robot had been built by an electronics firm in Shanghai China that was owned by Mei-ling Manchu and Ho Babylon Minh who were both intelligence operatives for the Beijing government and the two intelligence operatives responsible for the butchering of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s pot smoking cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever.

That, Sheriff Jackman suspected, as he emerged from the depths of the fruit salad he was in in the New York City hotel kitchen, had something to do with the national security matter that Canada’s Justin Trudeau had sent him on.

It had to do with Mei-ling Manchu releasing photographs of Justin Trudeau wearing blackface and brownface.

It had to do with Mei-ling Manchu being at the opening of the UN General Assembly this week.

But that was about all he remembered.

He hoped he ran into that intelligent squirrel again who would explain everything to him.

He went back to his hotel room and opened a package that said Uncle Ernie’s Chemical of The Day Club (as opposed to Book of the Month Club) that bore an Australian post mark.

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman inhaled the contents of the package and began singing,

“Fly little white dove fly 
way up high
Spread your wings
Sing out your cry 
across the universal sky…”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday September 22nd 
2019.


Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman encounters a pair of conspirators from the year 1944 as he sings about little white doves flying high and singing out their cry across the universal sky.

4 Comments

  1. David Redpath said,

    You’ve given me a great idea, Chris,
    of where to hide the Cacti Twins.
    That’s if they can wait till 2025
    for Calypso’s Bosom to reappear.
    Surely Chinese lightening couldn’t
    strike twice in the same place?
    But it does remind of a time
    travelling song …

    “🎶 in the 2525
    if the Cacti Twins can survive
    and if Uncle Ernie can be revived
    Calypso’s Bosom we may find🎶”

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      That’s excellent, David. 👍

      Wow, that song really brings back memories of the Summer of ’69.

      Probably more so if my older sister heard it.

      She spent most of that summer on my uncle’s farm where she encountered her first crush- a boy from the next door neighbour farm.

      The Year 2525 became her song as she said that she and her Bobby (the boy’s name) often kissed to it.

      • David Redpath said,

        I hope that farm boy came out alive 😎
        I would listen to it on the way to
        school, and then want to burn the
        whole institution to the ground.
        But then I’d hear the Beatles song
        ‘Revolution’, and calm right down.
        I still play it now and then.
        Especially when Babylon Ho is
        around, in the vain hope the lyrics
        will do some deprogramming.

        “You say you want a revolution
        Well, you know
        We all want to change the world
        You tell me that it’s evolution
        Well, you know
        We all want to change the world …
        But when you talk about destruction
        Don’t you know that you can count
        me out …
        But if you go carrying pictures
        of chairman Mao
        You ain’t going to make it with
        anyone anyhow
        Don’t you know it’s gonna be
        All right, all right, all right.”

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, embracing the principles of Mao is definitely the path to destruction.

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