Michelangelo: The Fastest Claw In The West
Michelangelo: The Fastest Claw In The West
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a visitor in his aquarium room at Set Enterprises today.
The visitor was Belvedere the ghost of a ghost white salamander reporter for the Times of London.
Belvedere, in his days as a mortal, before he had been turned into a ghost white salamander by a gypsy enchantress, had lived in the days of the American Wild West and was therefore regaling the lobster with tales of his adventures (somewhat highly embellished of course!).
Belvedere was then called away by his editor to attend a late night session of the House of Lords who were debating if there would be enough sausages available to make full English breakfasts should a no-deal Brexit happen.
When Belvedere left, Michelangelo fell asleep and dreamed that he was living in the days of the Wild West.
The place was Dodge City
The times were not pretty
Willy Malone and The Bronson Boys
had fired their guns certainly not toys
They were the gang that called the shots
And gave their horses the best parking spots
No one could stop their reign of terror
thinking that one could was a total error
You’d find yourself plugged full of lead
and resting ‘neath tombstones with the rest of the dead
It was on a hot and dusty day
that a lobster wandered this way
He went up to the bar and ordered a beer
using chalk and a chalkboard to make himself clear
For the crustacean was the strong silent type
and his body odour was not overly ripe
Willy Malone and the Bronson Boys came strolling through the door
Got the shock of their life seeing a lobster on the floor
Said Malone as he saw the lobster drinking his beer
and finding the whole thing very queer
This town ain’t big enough for the both of us
So I say unto you, Hit the road, Gus
The lobster wrote on the chalkboard
with all the pizzaz of a High British Lord
My name is Michelangelo and I shall not leave
So stick that up your nose and wipe your sleeve
Malone was beside himself
As he knocked beer bottles off the shelf
Step out into the street for a show down
And when you’re dead you’ll leave town
I’m challenging you to a gun fight
Bullets blazing will be your last sight
Michelangelo accepted the challenge to a draw
And was out on the street with gun in claw
The town’s privy clerk counted to three
And the lobster shot old Malone in the knee
He did the same with the Bronson Boys
who keeled over in the street making lots of noise
For Michelangelo was the fastest claw in the West
And the Malone-Bronson gang wasn’t up for the test
-A vampire novel chapter
and poem
written by Christopher
Sunday October 6th
2019.
One of the witnesses to the gunfight between Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster and the Malone-Bronson Gang
Harley Unhinged said,
October 6, 2019 at 10:37 pm
THIS IS AMAZING! 🦞🦎
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 6, 2019 at 10:49 pm
Thank you very much, Harley. ❤
Unique Tales said,
October 7, 2019 at 12:43 pm
Oh I’ve missed reading your stories. Oh the dramas I’ve had losing Adnama marais. 😭
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 7, 2019 at 2:04 pm
Glad you’re back.
Unique Tales said,
October 7, 2019 at 3:53 pm
☺️Thank you, me to.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 7, 2019 at 4:26 pm
You’re welcome. 🙂
annieasksyou said,
October 7, 2019 at 3:13 pm
Ok. So here’s my question: did Michelangelo shoot them in the legs because he was just trying to teach them a lesson and was not homicidal like the rest of them—or was it because he was very very short?
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 7, 2019 at 4:20 pm
Probably a combination of both. 😂
nitinsingh said,
October 7, 2019 at 7:13 pm
Thanks a lot for liking my post.I am your fan for writing completely different.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 7, 2019 at 7:21 pm
Thank you very much. 🙂
I used to watch Monty Python’s Flying Circus when I was younger so I guess I was schooled in writing something completely different. 😀
David Redpath said,
October 8, 2019 at 12:04 am
A Wild West lobster gun slinger adventure 🤠
Dracul Van Helsing said,
October 8, 2019 at 12:55 am
What the world has long waited for. 🌎