Allatallahbel Tries To Make A Vamp Out of A Cardinal

November 17, 2019 at 11:19 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Allatallahbel Tries To Make A Vamp Out of A Cardinal

The Vampiress Allatallahbel sat at the edge of one of the old lion cheering fan stands in the Roman Colosseum.

A Vatican Cardinal named Samhain Cardinal Salaman approached Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal.

“I got your message for me to be here, your Sinisterness,” Cardinal Salaman addressed the vampiress priestess.

“Nice of you to come, your Eminence,” the vampiress bit him on the neck and drained him of almost all his blood.

She then walked away.

Lenora the Dragon Warrioress Princess of Lemuria entered the colosseum with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

“Was that not the statue of the god Moloch at the entrance to the colosseum?” Lenora asked Van Helsing.

“It was,” Van Helsing nodded, “That god of the ancient Canaanites, Phoenicians and Carthaginians on prominent display at the colosseum must have the Roman general Scipio Africanus rolling over in his grave.”

“So Dr. Cadbury Rocher text messaged you that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of something awful happening to one of the few non-homosexual predatory and pedophile Vatican Cardinals here?” Lenora queried.

“That is correct,” Van Helsing answered.

“Well there appears to be someone dressed in Cardinal’s robes lying on one of the steps there,” Lenora ran over to the man.

Van Helsing joined her and felt the Cardinal’s pulse.

He also noticed the vampiric bite on the Cardinal’s neck.

The vampire hunter called an ambulance.

Paramedics and ambulance soon arrived on the scene and rushed Samhain Cardinal Salaman to hospital.

“Do you think he’ll live?” Lenora asked.

“I hope so,” Van Helsing replied.

Vampire hunter and Dragon Warrioress Princess returned to their hotel and dressed for a concert in Rome.

The performer at the concert was Lenora herself who played pieces by Bach, Handel and Vivaldi on her violin.

“What beautiful music that instrument makes,” the Australian Ambassador to Italy remarked to his wife, “It certainly sounds a lot better than that Ernievarius that violin made out of rubber tires that some character called Uncle Ernie played in concert with the Sydney Philharmonic Orchestra back home.”

“Still I must admit it was hilariously funny watching that Uncle Ernie get arrested live on stage by Sydney Police during the second act for his improper conduct that he conducted in the orchestra pit during intermission,” his wife noted.

“That,” the Ambassador agreed, “was hilariously funny.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday November 17th


  1. George F. said,

    Ya know,I love your sexy vamps! And you educated me…I was watching a vampire movie the other night, and I finally got it…thanks to you…the whole drinking blood thing is, in fact, a black satire/parody of the Eucharist. The body and blood of Christ…I always suspected they were similar, but you spelled it out for me…thanks!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, it was a parody of the Eucharist.

      There was a 19th Century English clergyman Rev. Fr. Sabine Baring-Gould (author of the hymn Onward Christian Soldiers) who wrote several books on Eastern European vampire and werewolf folklore who noted that vampires drinking blood for life was in fact an occultic parody of the Eucharist.

  2. David Redpath said,

    Yes,Chris, the conductor should’ve
    been warned not to drop the baton
    when Uncle Ernie is around.
    And now that you mention it, the
    Ernievarius has been a bit of a hit
    down under,and not just with the
    Sydney Philharmonic Orchestra.
    They’re very handy to have in the
    back of the car incase of a flat.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I suppose I better dare not ask where it was that Uncle Ernie put the baton.

      I suppose this explains the amount of Ernievarius sales in Australia.

      Being used as spare tires.

  3. Rootsandrevolations said,

    […] […]

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