Renfield’s TV Commercial For Enterprise Rent-A-Car

November 22, 2019 at 11:53 pm (Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Satire, Science-Fiction, TV Commercials, TV Shows, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s TV Commercial For Enterprise Rent-A-Car

Tonight’s candidates’ debate in the Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds constituency wasn’t really a formal debate.

It was more of a get to know the candidates’ night in which each candidate talked about their hobbies or their interests outside politics.

When it was Renfield’s turn to speak, he said his hobby was writing TV commercials.

Said Renfield, “I just wrote a commercial for a North American car rental company Enterprise Rent-A-Car which was filmed today and company executives are currently debating whether to air it on television.”

Amadeus Emanon (who was sitting in the audience) groaned.

He had had previous experience watching some of Renfield’s TV commercials.

“And now I would ask the hall technician to play the video,” Renfield grinned, “You’ll get a sneak peak of that TV commercial which will hopefully be shown in North America soon.”

The video played and it showed actor William Shatner as Captain James T. Kirk wearing the exact same Starfleet uniform that he probably wore in the original 1960s TV series Star Trek.

Clothes he had very much since outgrown.

“Hi,” said a smiling William Shatner, “I’m Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise speaking to you on behalf of Enterprise Rent-A-Car. I’m filling in for my friend Patrick Warburton the usual Enterprise spokesman who’s come down with acute laryngitis ever since he won first place in a Greta Thunberg voice impersonation contest a few nights ago…”

Amadeus sank lower in his chair.

Captain Kirk walked among the cars at the Enterprise Rent-A-Car lot, “Whenever I visit Earth, I use Enterprise Rent-A-Car to get around.
I’ve been Captain of the Starship Enterprise for over 60 years now and I’ve been using Enterprise Rent-A-Car for almost as long. People keep telling me that I should have retired years ago and the way I no longer fit into this Starfleet uniform, perhaps they’re right. I seem to have gone well beyond middle aged paunch in terms of my weight…”

The button on Captain Kirk’s black pants burst and he’s forced to use one of his hands to hold it up.

“Yesterday I rented a car from Enterprise Rent-A-Car to drive to Ottawa where I received the Order of Canada from Canada’s Governor-General at Rideau Hall in Ottawa. Then I rented another car from Enterprise this morning to drive to Washington DC to meet with Donald Trump and tell him that the planet Xenuthalu had concluded its investigation and found no evidence of wrongdoing by Joe Biden or his son Hunter. So Trump, although disappointed, gave the order to no longer hold up nuclear arms sales to the planet. The missiles are now well on their way…”

Kirk looks at his Starship Enterprise smart phone, “Oh-oh. I just got a text message from Mr. Spock saying that the planet Xenuthalu has just signed an alliance treaty with the Klingons.”

Kirk drops the smart phone and bends over to pick it up.

A loud ripping sound from the back of his pants can be heard.

Kirk speaking into his smart phone communicator, “Quick. Beam me up, Scotty.”

Kirk is quickly beamed up just as the Rev. Pat Robertson gets out of one of the Enterprise vehicles.

Says Rev. Robertson, “Oh my God. The Rapture has just occurred. Why am I still here?”.

Robertson in a panic screams, “Why am I still here? You forgot about me, Lord. You forgot about me. Your most important, noble and humble servant you’ve left behind. You’ve forgot about me, Lord. You’ve forgot about me.”

Robertson continues to scream, “You forgot about me, Lord. You forgot about me” as the ad announcer says, “Enterprise Rent-A-Car. Choose your vehicle. Choose your destination.”

The commercial was a hit with Tewkesbury voters.

Not so much with Enterprise corporate executives in America.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 22nd


  1. Jessica said,

    I love it!
    Swoon for Captain Kirk no matter how unfit he is in his uniform.
    But gosh, it’s such a torture to be unable to laugh out loud ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I can’t handle it the moment he opened his mouth to endorse the rent-a-car commercial and that ripping sound from picking the phone…

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      ROTFL ! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      I guess I’m thankful to be able to laugh out loud. ๐Ÿคฃ

      Glad you found the entire comnercial funny, Jessica. ๐Ÿ˜€

      • Jessica said,

        And envy you for being able to do so… I guess I have to start reading your post in daytime ๐Ÿ˜€

        Yep, I love it! ๐Ÿฅฐ Renfield’s style just makes even boring stuff fun ๐Ÿ˜‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s very true, Jessica. ๐Ÿฅฐ

        Renfield has a very unique ability that way. ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿฅณ

  2. Judy Kim said,

    Perfect timing on the pants ripping/โ€œBeam me up Scottyโ€ ๐Ÿ˜„โฃ๏ธ I never noticed it when I was a kid watching the show, but I watched it again as an adult and the male crew memberโ€™s pants were so tight that you could see TMI. No wonder Kirkโ€™s pants split.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, the last time I saw an episode of the original 1960s Star Trek was a couple of years ago.

      And it was then I noticed too how tight the male crew members’ pants were.

      A few days ago, William Shatner was in a ceremony in Ottawa in which he was inducted into the Order of Canada by Canada’s Governor-General.

      And the thought hit me, I wonder why William Shatner never does TV commercials for Enterprise Rent-A-car seeing as how he played the Captain of the Starship Enterprise for years on TV and in movies.

      So I decided to write my own Captain Kirk commercial for Enterprise Rent-A-Car. ๐Ÿ˜

      I’ve noticed how much weight William Shatner has put on since the days he played Captain Kirk in the TV series.

      So then I imagined what the commercial would be like if he wore the exact same clothes he wore in the TV series. ๐Ÿ˜‚

      It turned out to be very inspirational. ๐Ÿคฃ

      • Judy Kim said,

        Shatner steadily got chubbier during the series too but he still pulled off the ladies man role at every planet. I like the Enterprise rent a car sponsorship idea, very clever ๐Ÿ˜€. I think he did a Priceline (what ever that was!) commercial which was a bit hyper. I think he and Christopher Walken have a similar, jazzy way of talking, lots of dramatic pauses and emphasis.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks, Judy. ๐Ÿ˜€

        Yes, I remember those Priceline ads with Shatner.

        He went around hunting for bargains and good deals.

        Yes, he and Walken’s unique way of talking can make the dialogue sound funny and humourous whereas if anybody else said the same sentence, it wouldn’t be quite as funny.

      • Judy Kim said,

        Haha. yes I remember him shouting about deals ๐Ÿ˜€. I think their way of enunciating and pausing is from stage actorโ€™s training in dramatic speaking. I donโ€™t think they think theyโ€™re being funny, theyโ€™re trying to be cool.๐Ÿ˜„ Walken is scary though and Shatner mightโ€™ve killed his wife?! Celebrities are nuts.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, being nuts seems to be the prerogative for being a celebrity. ๐Ÿ˜…

      • Judy Kim said,

        Yup, if they donโ€™t start off that way, theyโ€™ll end up that way. ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿคช

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


  3. David Redpath said,

    I do love William Shatner’s version
    of Bob Dylan’s ‘Mr. Tamborine Man’.
    His vocals are second only to the
    ceremonial mating call of the Klingons.
    Perhaps Renfield should havd that
    playing in the background ๐ŸŽถ

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Renfield uses that song for torturing ISIS Islamic State prisoners on behalf of British Intelligence. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

  4. David Redpath said,

    I’m sure it was ver effective ๐ŸŽถ๐Ÿ‘

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      It was. ๐ŸŽถ

      Here was an artist’s depiction of what the ISIS prisoner looked like after the interrogation: ๐Ÿฅด

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