Zeus’ New Year’s Eve In Berlin

December 31, 2019 at 11:50 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Zeus’ New Year’s Eve In Berlinย 

When the Greek god Zeus heard the news that the Germanic god Wotan (aka the Norse god Odin) would be spending his New Year’s Eve in Athens, Greece watching Greek lady belly dancers in the city’s tavernas (although Odin/Wotan told his wife Freya that he’d be snow bowling as opposed to lawn bowling with Thor up at the North Pole), Zeus decided that he’d attend a New Year’s Eve party in the German capital of Berlin.

Buying the latest men’s tuxedo from a fashionable and upscale London tailor (where British Prime Minister Boris Johnson purchased his suits), Zeus flew an old Zeppelin dirigible from London to Berlin.

One of the guests aboard the New Year’s Eve dirigible for select celebrities (of which the Grecian sky god of Mount Olympus was considered to be one) was a former advisor to Donald Trump (who had just discovered hours earlier that he had apparently lost his job on the last day of this year when he read about it in one of the American leader’s recent tweets).

Overdosing on strawberry daiquiris, he got the lead out from the Zeppelin via his rear end when he sat on the edge of the dirigible deck and mooned various U.S. consulates and embassies (that the airship flew over on its way to Berlin) as his own personal form of retaliation.

Zeus was looking very dapper and debonair as he got off the Zeppelin and proceeded to chase anyone wearing a skirt (although he quickly reached the conclusion that the tea members of Berlin’s LGBTQ community wasn’t quite what he had in mind and vowed to be more observant and diligent on his Berlin night out).

As for the now former advisor to Donald Trump, when what was left of him was taken off the airship, they were able to bury all of him in a cigar box and place him 6 feet under in a Berlin cemetery.

Zeus reached a Berlin publishing company’s New Year’s Eve party and decided to crash it.

Posing as the author of a book on Greek mythology, the bearded Olympian was let in.

Zeus noted that his son Dionysus (aka Bacchus) was there.

After 9 PM in the evening, Dionysus fell asleep with his head in the gigantic punch bowl where it remained the rest of the night (with no one bothering to remove it as patrons and guests just scooped up their glasses of punch around the drunken deity’s head).

The Greek hero Achilles was there having recently been granted a temporary dispensation from the Underworld by Hades and Persephone.

Achilles was trying to put the moves on the (quite literally) immortal beautiful Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka who was currently visiting Germany from the U.S. Dakotas.

Belvedere the ghost of a Ghost White Salamander and a reporter for the Times of London was covering the New Year’s Eve literary gala.

During his mortal human life back in the 19th Century (how he ended up the ghost of a Ghost White Salamander and ceased being human was one long sad story), Belvedere had been good friends with the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka and her grandfather White Hawk (who was a great Lakota Sioux Medicine Man).

In fact the three had celebrated together Chief Sitting Bull’s victory over George Armstrong Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn.

Noticing that Tanaka was being bothered by the obnoxious and egotistical so-called “hero” of the Trojan War, Belvedere used a spectral bow and arrow (the spirit of the material physical bow and arrow that had been given him as a gift by White Hawk) and fired a spectral arrow at Achilles’ spectral heel.

“Damn! Not again!” Achilles shouted as a group of models wearing the latest dress fashions from Paris and carrying apples in their hands did a catwalk through the party hall.

Achilles fell over and once again departed to the realm of Hades.

Just then Zeus noticed 3 beautiful women standing against the wall by one of the balcony windows.

The Olympian decided to go over and make a move hoping to bring in the New Year with a bang- and possibly three- if he was lucky.

However a huge damper was about to fall on Zeus’ plans for the evening when his wife Hera stepped off the elevator into the party room.

She had been invited to the party by the President of the Berlin Publishing Company.

Hera noticed Zeus chatting up the three beauties.

New Year’s Eve fireworks soon went off.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 31st


  1. GP Cox said,

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Happy New Year to you. ๐Ÿบ๐Ÿป๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿท๐Ÿฅƒ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿน๐Ÿพ

  2. Hyperion said,

    What a night for old Zeus. He should have pulled out his old Swan trick. Berlinerโ€™s are especially fond of the swans at the local parks in the city. Iโ€™m sure Zeus had something to do with that. You were able to include quite the list of stars from the Vampire Novels. I can barely remember my name much less such an all star cast. I got a great chuckle out of the newly former Trump aid mooning various official US institutions. This has never been more popular than when The GOO managed to alienate the entire libertine world by simply being a normal everyday Uber nationalist with sticky hands. I guess when he finally drained the swamp the world discovered at the bottom was a lot of slimy reptilian politicians. But then there was Bacchus with his face in the punch bowl and no one persuaded to pass on the punch. That made me snort laugh and I had to change out my phone for my iPad to finish reading. Great stuff my friend.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks very much, Daniel. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Ahn Young Hah Sey Yo, my friend. ๐Ÿ˜€

      Yes, Zeus should have really had an old swan trick up his sleeve.

      Would have saved him a massive headache afterwards with no beneficial corresponding birth of Athena in the making to help out with the situation either.

      Glad you remember the characters of Belvedere, White Hawk and the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka who I wrote about in my Western series of vampire novel chapters in the summer of 2016.

      Yes, there are no swans to be found in Washington DC when the swamp is finally drained.

      ROTFL at my mention of Bacchus with his face in the punch bowl causing you to switch from your phone to your iPad. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

      No doubt that will put in a New Year’s reminder to order some more of Sherrielock’s Bavarian Magic Mushroom Cleaner from Sherry.

      • Hyperion said,

        Ann young hah Seyo! Very good Chris. That greeting to the Korean Dr,agon Sisters will surely earn you some deep appreciation. I certainly do need some magic mushroom cleaner if I am to continue to lose my Wheaties

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I still remember the days when the Detroit Red Wings’ Gordie Howe used to do TV commercials for Wheaties. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Hyperion said,

        I used to eat Wheaties every day but it didnโ€™t seem to have the same effect as those folks in the commercial. I was able to fart like a mule tho. Maybe that was the superpower the Wheaties unleashed for me.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The superpower that caused Greta Thunberg to make an angry speech about what causes climate change.

      • gresyc said,

        Ciao ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Ciao. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

      • gresyc said,

        Ti piacciono le mie foto ๐Ÿ˜Š

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, we all know we should cut back on atmospheric methane but we canโ€™t turn away from our Wheaties. Maybe with CBD oil we could dampen the withdrawal pains.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        This probably explains why the Democrats are so gung ho for cannabis legalization everywhere.

        AOC went through a lot of pain trying to withdraw from Wheaties.

        Although her boyfriend is grateful.

        The aroma around their apartment is much more to his liking.

      • gresyc said,

        Ti piacciono le mie foto

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


      • Hyperion said,

        Indeed the Democrats are hoping to ban all brocolli and Wheaties classifying them as the foul stuff of republican conservatives. I see where Bernie is sniffing around AOCโ€™s still smoking bootie and courting her for a vice presidency when he wins the elections in November. What a brilliant strategy. Bernie knows heโ€™ll die as soon as he gets sworn in. His old heart canโ€™t take what the GOO will leave him in the Oval Office loo. Then AOC will become President and she will fill the swamp with libertine effluents and legalize pot and public indignity. Finally, we can bring back the Roman Orgy to the senate floor and get some real work done. Pootin will likely visit more often as well.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I can see that happening, Daniel my friend.

        I can already see a horse called Caligula’s Stallion being escorted to take his seat in the U.S. Senate.

        With Nancy Pelosi standing outside the Senate chambers and saying, “My God, did you see the size of that equine phallus?” before she faints as a result of severe heart palpitations.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think you may have had another of your prescient visions Chris. Itโ€™s almost biblical in a Revelations sort of way. The Whore of Babylon opens the chambers for debate by customarily riding Caligulaโ€™s stallion, a pale horse, in several libertine ways to the cheers of the followers of AOC.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It will be a State of The Union address like no other.

        And some overly inebriated scientists at DARPA tuning into the PBS live broadcast right at that moment will think they have been successful in creating a female horse/human hybrid reviving the long lost centaurs of ancient Greek mythology.

      • Hyperion said,

        And history books will be rewritten in time for the spring semester.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And the Equinephiliacs Pride Parade will be held on the White House lawn.

        There will be no need for grass fertilization the rest of the summer.

      • Hyperion said,

        A very ecological move to save the taxpayer money.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The only time liberal progressive Democrats will ever be noted for saving the taxpayer money.

      • Hyperion said,

        That’s true. The Dems are defined by their erosion of fiscal strength and the republicans are known for their grand mal seizures everytime something smart is needed. We need a third party-desparately.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Truer words have never been spoken.

        America desperately needs a third party- one endowed with true common sense.

      • Hyperion said,

        Indeed, without that true common sense, we have a very short future ahead.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Exactly now that Kim Jong-un, Xi Jinping and Vladimir Putin see what Donald Trump does in the name of pre-emptive action against people he comes to dislike.

        The United States may have invented the doctrine of pre-emptive strikes but it may soon find itself on the receiving end of that same doctrine as America’s enemies decide to strike first rather than wait for the next time Trump decides to deliver a message by drone rather than tweet.

      • Hyperion said,

        The sad thing about all this is the extreme libertine cowardice in which America eliminates its enemyโ€™s. General Suckerman deserved that missile up the ass, but we should have delivered it in Iran as he lifted his ass to the sky to pray to Satan for another successful year in killing thousands of people and furthering conflict around the world. We should blow Rocket Boy off the planet, scorch the Eyebutthola, out poot Pootin, and ask Xi for more cheap poisoned merchandise at a lower cost. If you are going to be the world power you have to smash the shit out of those that oppose you or you end up with our present reality – a broken ineffective military, a government of idiocy, and a libertine self masterbating society of total lunatics. Be strong or go home. Because we are the laughing stock of the world, our enemies will feel very confident in attacking us anywhere in the world and because our military is too busy attending gay pride functions we will be forced to resort to nuclear solutions. That will end the fight but really piss off Greta Thunberg because global warming will reach an all time high as several continents burn out of control to include the Amazon and Australia which happen to be ongoing before nuclear fuel was added to the fire. Itโ€™s the apocalypse we were all warned against. For the pagans, itโ€™s Ragnorak time. Iโ€™m just going to sit back in my man chair and breath the smell of doom as the fragrance of the gods until I get my own lazy ass smoked.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think you’ve totally summed up modern times in that comment, my friend.

      • Hyperion said,

        Itโ€™s a sad summation. Hopefully Greta Thunberg and her schoolmates can scowl at world leaders and get better results.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And if not Sherrielock Holmes and her bun tomatoing sessions will then be called in as a last resort. ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ๐Ÿ“

      • Hyperion said,

        She is going to need a stronger whip. The old one will get worn out fast due to the tremendous workload of whackity-whacks needed.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        She should borrow a whip from the Greek Furies aka Erinyes.

        They’re long lasting.

      • Hyperion said,

        Now that would do the trick. First up is the Eyebutthola and the Goo. Kiss and makeup or take another 30 lashes.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And after they’ve kissed and made up, Justin Trudeau can invite them to walk in next year’s Gay Pride parade in Ottawa.

      • Hyperion said,

        That would be swell, and maybe they can visit Australia and see what their turn in Hell might be like.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        An excellent idea, Daniel. ๐Ÿ”ฅ

  3. Jessica said,

    Poor guy…
    Not Zeus, after all he wished to start the new year with a bang ๐Ÿ˜‚

  4. David Redpath said,

    By the eye of Horis!
    What an end to an annus horribilis!
    Yet I’m sure that Trump’s former
    advisor was led to Zeppelin
    mooning by a strawberry ๐Ÿ“daiquiris๐Ÿน
    stairway to Mount Olympus ๐Ÿ”๏ธ heaven
    Happy New Year, Christopher ๐Ÿ˜Ž

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Definitely an end to an annus horribilis as well as a decade horribilis.

      Happy New Year and Happy New Decade, David. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

  5. nitinsingh said,

    Happy New year to you and your family again ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™ƒ

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