The Death of Gen. Qasem Soleimani

January 3, 2020 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel)

The Death of Qasem Soleimani

“What was it that Canadian philosopher Marshall McLuhan once said?” The head of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) Quds Force Elite Unit Gen. Qasem Soleimani mused aloud to one of his soldiers at Baghdad Airport, “The medium is the message?”.

No sooner had Gen. Qasem Soleilmani said this than he was killed in a spray of gunfire shot at him by a U.S. military drone. 

Ares the Greek god of war who was eating a banana and sipping from a glass of combined Greek ouzo and Italian Sambuca remarked to Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war who was standing alongside him at Baghdad Airport, “You know there’s a word that my sister Athena would probably use to describe Gen. Qasem Soleimani’s last words and then immediately being hit by a drone. I can’t think of the word.”

“Would the word be irony?” Morrigan asked as she sipped from a glass of champagne.

“It would,” Ares nodded as he wondered what he should do with his banana peel.

“You know dropping my hammer Mjolnir on one’s toes is quite a painful experience,” Thor the Norse god of thunder commented as he suddenly broke into an improvisational one foot on the ground and one foot in the air dance at Baghdad Airport.

The three deities had been spending the last year trying to start a global war.

They may have finally succeeded with Donald Trump finally ordering a drone strike and targeted killing of Iran’s leading general and military commander Gen. Qasem Soleimani.

. . .

U.S. President Donald Trump was in a room at his Mar-a-Lago resort after giving a press conference where he congratulated himself on ordering the killing of Gen. Qasem Soleimani.

In the room, he sat holding hands with a Peruvian spiritist medium who was trying to contact the ghosts of Julius Caesar and Caesar Augustus for him.

Normally, Trump had a Hades and Persephone Gateway To The Underworld App on his iPhone to immediately summon the ghosts of the two Caesars but that iPhone had been inadvertently flushed down the toilet while America’s leader sat on it while browsing at photos of Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

After vigorously washing his hands in the bathroom sink, it was then that he noticed his iPhone was gone.

The Peruvian spiritist medium was immediately summoned to Mar-a-Lago.

Coincidentally enough the female Peruvian spiritist medium had a cousin who was a female shaman that had instructed various Cardinals and bishops in what was called the Pachamama Catechesis demonstrated at the Vatican Congregation For Catholic Education December 14th Christmas Charity Concert held in the Paul VI Audience Hall.

The concert had been hosted by the great American singer-songwriter and musician Lionel Ritchie and included performers like the UK’s Susan Boyle (who had totally wowed and floored judge Simon Cowell at a Britain’s Got Talent competition back in 2009).

For the catechesis, the female shaman instructed the audience to cross their arms in Hiram Abiff Scottish Rite Freemasonic Lodge like fashion over their chests and feel the “strong vibrations” connecting their hearts to “the heart of Mother Earth”.

All of the Cardinals and bishops present had no trouble adopting the position whatsoever.

The Peruvian female medium spoke into a bowl of oil covered Amazon River water (courtesy of an American multinational oil corporation drilling for oil in the Amazon region), “Big Julius and Big Augustus, are you there? Big Julius and Big Augustus, are you there?”.

The spectral female voice of a very long distance operator replied, “I’m sorry but the number you called is no longer in service.”

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was in the lobby of the Mar-a-Lago resort.

He had been recently visiting the Caribbean island of Trinidad and had decided to drop into the Florida resort after receiving a text message from his mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom.

His mother Sophia had once visited the resort back in the 1950s when it was still owned by Marjorie Merriweather-Post and had raved about the place.

But of course that was long before Donald Trump owned it.

As Yaldabaoth stood at the lobby desk, he struggled to find his American Express card in his wallet.

“I can’t believe this,” Yaldabaoth cried, “and after watching all those years of television commercials in which they told me not to leave home without it.”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Friday January 3rd 
2020.


Sophia the Greco-Egyptian goddess of wisdom and Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war back at the Mar-a-Lago Florida resort in the 1950s

25 Comments

  1. A.P. said,

    Excellent.

  2. George F. said,

    “The three deities had been spending the last year trying to start a global war.” Ok, so I am NOT crazy, mad or delusional. We really ARE in the grips of mass demonic possession. Sheeesh. Years ago, I wouldn’t have believed it. But now I do!! Drop by my latest post…I’m coming around…

  3. Anonymole said,

    Helluva lot of names in these posts. Sure would be nice to have more story… I’d like to hear one about the leprechaun and Morrigan/Morgana.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Back in the mid-2010s, there were was a woman from Romania who used to write a blog here on WP and also read my posts every day.

      Then she vanished back in 2017 and hasn’t been back since.

      But she seemed to have discovered the key to my writing even before I did.

      She once wrote a comment, “Christopher, you’re not writing a novel or a story. You’re writing an entire mythology just like Tolkien did.”

      I think she hit the nail on the head.

      Of course I think I was 9 or 10 when I first read The Lord of The Rings epic.

      Well, actually that was the only time I read it and haven’t read it ever since.

      Just like I was about 12 or 13 when I read Dostoeyevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov and haven’t read it ever since (although it seems to have stuck in my consciousness ever since like Tolkien’s work did) .

      Thor, Ares and Morrigan have appeared on and off in my chapters the past year trying to promote a global war.

      I’d like to hear the story about the leprechaun and Morrigan too and find out what happened there.

      I seem to be quite literally driven by a muse to write.

      I generally have no idea what I’m going to write when I start writing.

      I usually end up being as surprised as the reader at what happens.

      As a writer (or at least ever since I started writing my series of vampire novels), I’ve always broken one of the primary rules of writing which is “at least have some premise or notion of what you’re going to write about when you start writing”.

      I never have.

      All I knew was I was going to write a vampire novel which I started to do and since then werewolves, mermaids, and gods and goddesses of various pantheons have entered my writing as well as (much to my personal surprise!) a psychic lobster.

      It’s only when I’ve read back over my vampire novels over the years that they do seemed to have formed an organic whole that I never dreamed they would have formed when I was first writing them.

      One thing about being a reader of my writing is one has to learn patience.

      Because I have no idea where I’m going with my writing either.

      Just the past few months, I have discovered lectures of J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis in videos on YouTube discussing the subject of mythology.

      I’ve only had the chance to view a few of them because I only seem to have so much (which generally turns out to be so little) time in a day.

      But they seem to explain my writing better than I can.

      Because I often wonder where I’m going myself.

      Perhaps someday you and I will both discover what happened with the leprechaun and Morrigan.

      Maybe I really should keep a bottle of champagne on ice for when that day arrives.

      • Anonymole said,

        Started quite early I see. Much younger than I did. I was reading in my teens, mostly novels my mother was reading: spy, mysteries, adventure and general drama. Only later did I get into SciFi/Fantasy. And later, non-fiction and then anything that others recommend.

        Your own mythology. OK. That’s why I suggested Gaiman’s American Gods and the Iron Druid. Seems you’re generally commandeering existing mythos though. A psychic lobster is new. And is that leprechaun your own invention – or Irish lore?

        I suppose my prompt came from the desire to hear you write without all the contextual hopping.

        How this… The leprechaun and the Morrigan are planning an assassination. But they can’t agree on whom or how. They do agree on the fact that it must be a clergyman who buggers young boys.

        Go.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, two women separately on two different occasions compared my writing to Neil Gaman whom I had never heard of before prior to their mentioning it.

        They actually did it within a couple of weeks of one another with no knowledge of the other doing it.

        Interestingly enough both women live in Germany.

        One, Sherry, is a Malaysian woman who lives in a quiet and tranquil Bavarian village.

        The other, Ana, is a Romanian woman who lives in Berlin (not the same Romanian woman who thought I was writing a mythological world like Tolkien- she was still living in Romania the last I heard from her).

        In fact if you remember the picture of the 3 women that Zeus was wanting to chat up in my New Year’s Eve blog post, Ana is the one in the middle of the 3 women.

        She works for a small publishing firm in Berlin.

        That photo is of her this most recent New Year’s Eve celebrating New Year’s Eve with a couple of friends.

        Actually other than reading Tolkien when I was very young and reading some of C.S. Lewis’ fantasy books later in life, I’ve never really been much of a Science-Fiction and Fantasy genre fan.

        Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles and J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series I read and enjoyed and they have probably influenced my writing.

        Most of the fiction writing I enjoyed were the Classics like Shakespeare’s plays, Charles Dickens’ novels, Jane Austen’s novels and Emily Bronte’s.

        The only specific style of genre I enjoyed reading was the detective genre -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes, Agatha Christie’s Hercules Poirot and Raymond Chandler’s Philip Marlowe.

        I did read and enjoy Edgar Allan Poe.

        But these days when I do get the chance to read books, it’s mainly History and biographies I read.

        I actually spend most of my time reading news articles that relate to Geopolitics and International Relations.

        Actually other than the Romanian woman (whose name I sadly can’t now remember and whose name evades me at the moment) comparing my writing to a mythology, it’s actually Geopolitics and International Relations that inspires and drives my writing not mythology.

        Specifically a book written about Geopolitics and International Relations back in the early 1990s by an Irish Jesuit – The Keys of This Blood by Malachi Martin.

        Throughout much of his early life and career, Martin was like most Jesuits in contemporary times – he didn’t believe in the existence of the Supernatural.

        But then after having been asked by another priest to help him out in performing an exorcism which he did and what he saw happen during that exorcism, he immediately changed his worldview.

        Martin’s geopolitics was based on the premise that supernatural entities are working behind the scenes of world events.

        A premise shared of course by many American Evangelical Protestant televangelists.

        Of course most American Evangelical Protestant televangelists are nutcases and their theories as to how this happens are totally ludicrous.

        Martin with his extensive Jesuit training and background is much more rational.

        So it’s Martin’s rational approach to this subject that I use in analyzing geopolitical and world events.

        And that’s what drives my writing.

        So another reason I don’t know the way my writing will turn out.

        Since I don’t know what current events will happen next that I incorporate into my writing.

        As for your suggestion, it actually parallels the chapter I was going to write tonight or tomorrow – the imagined bumping off of an Argentine sex trafficker who was a close personal friend of Pope Francis when the Pope lived in Argentina.

        Of course the man is not a priest but a layman and one who lined up children for priests to bugger.

        Actually in the course of my writing over the years, numerous people have made suggestions in comments very close to what I was considering writing next.

        Which leads one to all sorts of speculations regarding synchronicity and Jung’s idea of the Collective Unconscious.

  4. David Redpath said,

    Perhaps the Cardinals attending the
    Pachamama Catechesis would’ve
    felt the vibrations connecting their
    hearts to “the heart of Mother Earth”
    better if mounted upon goats coated
    in oil from the Amazon region? 🐐 🤔

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I think that’s very true, David.

      And I can just imagine the manner in which these perverted Cardinals of the 21st Century (who make the Cardinals of the Renaissance era look like holy saints by comparison) would mount these poor goats (who already have enough problems to start with). 🐐🍑

      • David Redpath said,

        Side-saddle, like upon a golden calf,
        ridden all the way to the Vatican bank.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Where the gold sparkled
        But the sulphur stank.

  5. David Redpath said,

    With acolytes
    in white cassocks
    to administer
    a firm spank 🏏

  6. David Redpath said,

    The Chief Beast,
    and Antichrist … to thank.

  7. nitinsingh said,

    Lovely

  8. Jessica said,

    Another amazing surreal read ❤ But no matter how I think about it, judge or Presidents, I can't imagine how they can sleep peacefully at night after ordering someone's death.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you very much, Jessica. ❤

      Yes, I don’t think anybody who has a trace of humanity in them would be able to sleep at night after ordering someone’s death.

      Trump may not have any difficulty sleeping at night since the evidence seems to suggest that Trump doesn’t have an ounce of humanity in him.

      • Jessica said,

        😥 What a sad thing. No matter what he is still a chosen leader by the states, he should at least show more likeable qualities.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I totally agree, Jessica.

        He should show more likeable qualities.

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