Harry and Meghan’s Excellent Canadian Adventure

January 9, 2020 at 11:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Harry and Meghan’s Excellent Canadian Adventure

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was on Skype talking to his friend Amadeus Emanon.

Amadeus and his girlfriend Angelique Dumont were currently in Australia along with a massive group of volunteers who were trying to rescue koalas, kangaroos, possums and other wildlife from the massive raging fires throughout Australia.

Amadeus gave Renfield a briefing on the situation in Australia.

“So, what do you have to tell me?” Amadeus asked Renfield.

“Well,” Renfield replied, “I just heard from our friend Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun who’s currently staying at the Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida. Apparently Theodore McCarrick the now laicized Communist homosexual pedophile ex-Cardinal, who sodomized numerous altar boys and young seminarians over the years and who negotiated the pact with China’s Xi Jinping selling out the Underground Catholic Church in that country, has been moved from the friary he was staying at in Kansas to a fancy town house in Jacksonville Florida. That townhouse was apparently once owned by Marcial Maciel the homosexual pedophile pervert who founded the Legionaries of Christ. Anyhow last night Yaldabaoth had a dream in which a tortoise reading a copy of Albert Camus’ The Myth of Sisyphus had appeared to him and told him that he should get together with Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war and enact revenge on McCarrick on behalf of all those poor innocents buggered by the former Cardinal.”

“And is he going to do that?” Amadeus inquired.

“He is,” Renfield nodded.

“What are you up to?” Amadeus asked.

“Well, I’m currently examining evidence that Ukraine International Airlines Flight PS752 may have been accidentally shot down by Iran’s own missile defences thinking it was a U.S. plane retaliating for Iranian missile strikes on U.S. Air Bases in Iraq,” Renfield replied.

“Wow, how awful,” Amadeus commented.

“Iran is trying to say that it isn’t true,” Renfield noted, “that the story is a psy-ops operation being directed by the American CIA. Now the American CIA are the sort of deceptive underhanded bastards who’d engage in a psy-ops operation like that but I don’t think it happened in this case. I think it was a tragic mistake by the Iranians in the situation brought on in that part of the world by the megalomania of one Donald J. Trump.”

“People are making the claim that Gen. Qasem Soleimani was a terrorist who organized militias and various death squads across the Middle East,” Amadeus pointed out.

“Well I’m no fan of Soleimani,” Renfield answered, “but Soleimani was only doing in the Middle East what the Americans were doing throughout much of Latin America back in the 1980s. Organizing militias and death squads. That bastard Roberto D’ Aubuisson who led a right-wing death squad in El Salvador is just one of many who comes to mind. So if it’s permissible for a drone to take out Soleimani, then it’s permissible for drones to take out former CIA directors as well as former Marine Lt-Col. Oliver North.”

“I don’t think Trump would quite see it that way,” Amadeus reflected.

“No, I don’t imagine he would,” Renfield took a swig of whisky.

“What do you think of Justin Trudeau sporting a beard?” Amadeus asked next.

“He’s probably trying to look like a war time leader,” Renfield pointed out, “Dracul Van Helsing mentioned to an Alberta provincial cabinet minister he met in a coffee shop in Calgary in November that Trudeau may not necessarily be able to hold on to power in a minority government situation if a major global war broke out which Van Helsing told the said cabinet minister it probably would. As Trudeau does not have the type of fibre it takes to be a political leader in war time. Word of that probably got back to Trudeau when Alberta Premier Jason Kenney met Trudeau. And no doubt Justin thinks that by growing a beard which makes him look more mature and less boyish that this will turn him into a war time leader over night.”

“But there’s more to being a war time leader than having a beard,” Amadeus pointed out.

“You and I can both agree on that,” Renfield took another swig of whisky.

“Seeing as how you’re close friends with Prince Harry and Meghan, what do you make of them stepping back from their role as senior royals?” Amadeus asked.

“I actually advised them to go ahead and do it,” Renfield commented.

“You did?” Amadeus was shocked.

“Yes,” Renfield removed the cap off another bottle of whisky, “I’m afraid what ever good will I had with Her Majesty the Queen after rescuing one of her Welsh corgis from drowning 3 years ago, I’ve now lost.”

“So, what’s happening?” Amadeus asked.

“Well, as you may have heard on the news tonight, the Duchess of Sussex has flown back to Canada. She’s arriving in Vancouver shortly. And then will be flying to Victoria on Vancouver Island. You may not know this… But Prince Archie…. my godson… umm… Forget that I just said that,” Renfield added who had been constantly telling the British tabloid press that he could neither confirm nor deny that he was Archie’s godfather, “never returned to Britain from Canada.”

“So the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are moving to Canada?” Amadeus inquired.

“Yes, which actually ties in with the geopolitical plans that Dracul Van Helsing has for Canada,” Renfield continued to down his whisky.

“Van Helsing has geopolitical plans for Canada?” Amadeus wanted to know more.

“Yes, since foreign policy in what is becoming an increasingly dangerous world is the last thing on the minds of most Canadian politicians of whatever political party and stripe, Van Helsing has been thinking up a geopolitical strategy for Canada,” Renfield opened up his third bottle of whisky in the course of this Skype conversation with Amadeus.

“What does Van Helsing want to see?” Amadeus demanded to know.

“Well he’s come to the conclusion that since a narcissistic megalomaniac with Caesar like neo-Roman imperial ambitions is the head of state and head of government of the country directly south of him, it could be a very good thing for Canadian political sovereignty if Canada had a constitutional monarchy independent of Britain. The first Emperor of Brazil was actually a son of the King of Portugal. And it’s always been Van Helsing’s opinion that Brazil started to go down hill as a nation when the Brazilian military ousted the Emperor in a coup back in the 19th Century and it’s been going down hill ever since. Last year Van Helsing came to the conclusion that Harry and Meghan would make an ideal King and Queen of Canada.
And now it appears they want to move to Canada.”

“What will Trump make of that?” Amadeus wanted to know.

“Trump is currently wondering why Justin’s beard looks like that of the late Soleimani,” Renfield replied.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 9th

Meghan and Harry: Future Queen and King of Canada?


  1. David Redpath said,

    Van Helsing a right royal royalist!
    Who would have guessed!? πŸ€”
    I suppose institutionalised nepotism
    wouldn’t be new concept to Canada,
    since Justin Trudeau’s reign.
    Anyway, I wish Meghan, Harry, and
    little Archie all the best, as they
    transatlantic migrate out west πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦πŸ˜Ž

  2. Candy L said,

    Oh boy, this is oh so relevant, I think Canada’s’ an interesting choice for the Royals but lets see how it plays out πŸ™‚

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you, Candy. πŸ™‚

      Nice to see you back on WordPress.

      Yes, it will be interesting to see how this all plays out.

  3. King Lawal said,

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ this is so hilarious, and at the same time well informed.

  4. SpiritedSoul said,

    King and Queen of Canada πŸ€” Whatever would their responsibilities be? Will they still have a need for a PM? This worries me a bit as I live there and we have had enough changes due to immigration being so loose for everybody can come to live here. They have made changes due to these immigrants. Turbans can be worn for policing…u cant wear a poppy in court as it might offend someone…they took the prayer OurFather out of Catholic schools…U should say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas and I can just go on. Just some food for thought for ur wonderful story DraculπŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Oh yeah, what part of Canada do you live? πŸ™‚

      I live in Calgary, Alberta myself.

      Actually if they took the prayer Our Father out of Catholic schools where you live, I’m thinking you could live in Ontario.

      As I can see the Ontario Catholic School System doing something along those lines due to the influence of the Neo-Bolshevik and Teilhardian Archbishop of Toronto Thomas Collins.

      I remember the days when Thomas Collins was the Archbishop of Edmonton (I was living in Edmonton at the time) and he was a guest at a synod of the Anglican Catholic Church of Canada (which I belonged to back then) being held in Edmonton at the time, I remember he was busy staring at me with a stupid looking expression on his face.

      It kind of creeped me out actually.

      Harry and Meghan would basically be performing the duties that Canada’s Governor-General currently performs.

      Except they’d be permanent instead of someone being appointed Governor-General every 5 years by whatever political party happens to be in power at the time.

      • SpiritedSoul said,

        So in other words “more taxes” to pay for them to stay. And ur correct on area

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Actually what we currently pay the Governor-General (I believe the current Governor-General is former astronaut Julie Payette if I remember correctly) is what would be paid to Prince Harry.

        So there would be no difference in taxes from the current situation.

      • SpiritedSoul said,

        I guess we will see my friend πŸ€”

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        There’s always the possibility that Trump will annex Canada and all the possibilities for Canada’s future will become nil.

        Some of my friends think I’m being extreme in this but they are also friends who never read much history.

        Having read a lot of Roman History, Trump’s personality is a lot like some of the Roman Emperors who sought to absorb other nations in their empire.

      • SpiritedSoul said,

        I concur πŸ€”πŸ˜”πŸ™πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks for being one of the few Canadians who does. πŸ€”πŸ™πŸ»πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦

        I was starting to feel like Winston Churchill on the parliamentary backbenches of the British House of Commons throughout most of the decade of the 1930s.

        Whose warnings about Hitler and Nazism went totally unheeded and ignored until Hitler finally invaded Poland.

      • SpiritedSoul said,

        And my relatives r from Poland. My mother was kidnapped by the germans and was in Auzwich

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        How awful to have been in Auschwitz. πŸ™

        How old was she at the time?

      • SpiritedSoul said,


      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


        How awful.

        The age most people today are leaving High School and about to start college and university.

        Instead she found herself in Auschwitz. ☹

      • SpiritedSoul said,

        Yes πŸ˜”

      • SpiritedSoul said,

        When she passed away she took a piece of WW2 shrapnel in her hand with herπŸ™πŸ•―

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        What intense suffering she must have endured. 😒

      • SpiritedSoul said,

        Indeed πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ™

  5. amleta said,

    I think Meghan is a good actress and all her life is a comedy. I think everything she does is only for money. She’s smart and manipulative. Henry is a victim of love and he does not realize her true nature and true purpose. 😱😱😱

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I always held that possibility in the back of my mind myself.

      I’m a big fan of Film Noir movies of the 1940s and ’50s.

      And I did think it’s possible that Meghan being an actress could be playing the role of the ultimate Femme Fatale and manipulating the love struck Harry.

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