Renfield and The Emerging Geopolitical Situation of 2020

January 31, 2020 at 11:06 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel)

Renfield and the Emerging Geopolitical Situation of 2020

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sitting in his parliamentary office.

The Johnson-Renfield Plan for Brexit (that Renfield had drafted as Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical intelligence Gathering when he served in cabinet in Boris Johnson’s short lived minority government) had come into effect.

But Renfield was not one to rest on his laurels.

He was already taking stock of all the rapid geopolitical developments going on in the world.

As Bishop Robert Barron sat in his Los Angeles apartment talking to his pet half-eaten worm (in a half-eaten apple on the kitchen table) named Goebbels (because the worm was possessed by the ghost of Josef Goebbels granted a dispensational release from Tartarus by Hades the god of the Underworld a few years back), the bishop had decided that the time was now to call upon all American bishops to censor all Catholic media (including social media) for signs of disloyalty and disobedience to Pope Francis.

Bishop Barron had recently gone into orgasm when he with his fellow Catholic bishops from California and Nevada had gone for their quinquennial ad limina visit at the Vatican with Pope Francis.

Bishop Barron was aroused by the thoughts of the one world Communist government that Pope Francis was hoping to impose on the world.

To that end, Bishop Barron was now discussing the proper method of censorship with his half-eaten pet worm Goebbels.

Meanwhile in his London office, Renfield was reading recent statements by Claudio Cardinal Hummes the Marxist-Leninist Brazilian Cardinal and former Archbishop of SΓ£o Paulo Brazil.
Cardinal Hummes had sent a private letter to bishops in which he said that Pope Francis would be releasing his Apostolic Exhortation on the Pan-Amazon Synod soon and the bishops must be prepared to hold a press conference as soon as the exhortation was released at which they were to urge the faithful to get behind it.

Any sign of dissent would be seen as breaking communion with Pope Francis and would be grounds for excommunication.

Vatican higher-ups were embracing a totalitarian mind set with totalitarian contingency plans at a breakneck speed which would have made the ghost of Joseph Stalin proud (if he hadn’t still been roasting away on his barbecue spit down in Tartarus).

Renfield then went on to listen to the tape (part of which was played at the Senate Impeachment trial of Donald Trump) of the secret recording that Lev Parnas had made of Donald Trump.

In the recording, Trump had said that he wanted the woman U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine fired.

That of course had aroused the ire of the Democrats, the Washington Post and the New York Times.

But none of the Democrats or leftist news media seemed to have paid any attention to the other part of the tape in which Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman told Trump that the Chief Rabbi of Kiev had added up the numbers of Trump’s name according to Gematria and had determined that the numbers of Trump’s name had added up to a perfect 424 which was the number of the Messiah- the saviour of the universe.

As if that weren’t enough of geopolitical insanity, the Kremlin was currently debating bestowing the title “Supreme Ruler” on Vladimir Putin meaning that he could keep ruling once his Presidential term expired in 2024.

“So,” Renfield thought to himself, “This is how the world is taking shape at the start of 2020. The Pope is planning a One World Communist government, the Chief Rabbi of Kiev has just declared Donald Trump the Messiah and saviour of the Universe and good old Vladimir Putin might be about to become the Supreme Ruler of Russia.”

This, Renfield reflected, is probably the fulfillment of that old Chinese saying May you live in interesting times.

Although, the British MP reflected sadly, the people of the city of Wuhan and surrounding area probably wished they lived in less interesting times.

-A vampire novel chapterΒ 
written by Christopher
Friday January 31st


  1. David Redpath said,

    “Glad to hear that Stalin hasn’t been
    granted a dispensation, no matter
    how temporary, and is still roasting
    away on his barbecue spit down in
    Tartarus. Any deadly enemy of my
    old comrade, Leon Trotsky, is no
    friend of mine. As long as there’s
    still room down in Hades for Boris
    Johnson, and that geopolitical
    meddler Renfield.”
    ~Altiero Spinelli, Father of the EU
    (currently spinning in his grave)

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      In order for World Communism to triumph, we must have a United States of the World.
      And in order to have a United States of the World, we must have a United States of Europe.
      -Leon Trotsky, 1935.

      What is that spinning noise coming from the cemetery?
      It’s giving my head a spin.
      -Pope Francis after a late night of drinks and cocktails shared with his new Adonis looking personal secretary.

      • David Redpath said,

        “Francis is my kind of Pope.
        Where there is error, there is hope
        that the opioid of masses will go
        up in a puff of white smoke!”
        ~ Altiero Spinelli, still spinning in
        his grave on the rocks of Ventotene πŸŒ€
        … Where a tearful Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi, French
        President Francois Hollande, and German Chancellor Angela Merkel,
        met to pay homage to their spiritual
        leader and ask for his guidance. As
        they knocked on his tomb a voice
        boomed, “Get the brexit out of here!
        Nobody’s home!” πŸ‘»

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Altiero Spinelli writes remarkably good and witty poetry in English. πŸ€”

        Rather nasty of Emmanuel Macron to send his Presidential predecessor to Spinelli’s grave instead of showing up in person.

        Still I suppose Macron had a good excuse like chasing an elderly cougar through the streets of Paris. πŸˆπŸƒπŸ»

      • David Redpath said,

        Ten years imprisoned by the fascists
        is sure to improve your poetry. And
        I heard tell that Altiero wrote his grand
        plan for European Federation whilst
        he was a guest at the Mussolini Hotel.
        On toilet paper, whats more. Goes to
        show, you only get what you pay for 😎

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I believe Renfield used that quote while delivering his speech on his Brexit plan to Parliament and then Opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn started choking because he realized that he had accidentally eaten a lox and cream cheese bagel instead of a ham and cheese sandwich.

        The choking led to a delay in the bill’s passage, Boris Johnson was forced to call an election, won a majority government and now Renfield finds himself out of cabinet since his Transhumanist party of two members is no longer needed to prop up Johnson’s government.

      • David Redpath said,

        All because Jeremy Corbyn
        accidentally went Kosher!
        Truth is stranger than fiction.
        Especially when you have a
        hand ✍️ in it, Christopher 😎
        Personally, I blame Edward Heath
        for the whole Euro debacle. So do
        the retired rent boys around where
        “naughty old Ted” use to live πŸ™Š
        (Uncle Ernie would like me to state
        categorically that he knows nothing
        about such things, despite all evidence
        to the contrary. And if he did, he’s
        not going to divulge a thing about
        his old grammar school prefect mate.)

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I blame Edward Heath as well.

        As Cathy from Wuthering Heights might put it, “Heath went right over that cliff he did.”

        All because that EU wave looked like an English public school boy’s inviting bottom.

        Uncle Ernie’s old grammar school prefect mate being Edward Heath explains a lot.

        I think all of us would have embraced a life of sex, drugs and rock and roll like Uncle Ernie did if Edward Heath had been our prefect grammar school mate.

        We probably would not have had as successful a song as Meatloaf did in singing a song about sex, drugs and rock and roll but then having a sexy teenaged Angelina Jolie appearing in one’s music video on the subject would have been very inspirational indeed.

      • David Redpath said,

        Yes, poor old Uncle Ernie was an
        exchange student at the time.
        England got Uncle Ernie, and we got
        Ronnie Biggs. All things considered,
        I think Australia got the best part of
        that deal. Anyway, Uncle Ernie often
        says of his English Grammar school
        experience, much like Stephen Fry,
        one merciless spanking from the
        prefect, and he’s never looked back🏏

      • David Redpath said,

        I must admit, Emanuel Macron does
        remind me of the concierge, Gustave,
        from The Grand Budapest Hotel movie.
        If you haven’t seen it yet Christopher
        I highly recommend you do. I think you’d
        love it. Set in the fictional Republic of
        Zubrowka, just prior to the First World
        War, Gustave has a thing for his very
        elderly rich female guests, who frequent
        the hotel. Mainly to be serviced by the
        obliging concierge.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No, I haven’t seen The Grand Budapest Hotel.

        It sounds like a very intriguing film by the way you describe it.

        I’ll have to check it out.

        I imagine any resemblance between Gustave and Emmanuel Macron is purely coincidental.

      • David Redpath said,

        It was made in 2014 πŸ€” so I’m not
        too sure. But I’m sure you’ll like it.
        Some of Hollywood’s finest actors, and
        smug berating lecturers, are in it 😎

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


        6 years ago now eh?

        I remember it being talked about during the Academy Awards season.

        And that particular season seems like only yesterday.

        Yet a lot of water has passed under the bridge since then (as one of Teddy Kennedy’s cars once noted).

  2. The Bubbly,Tipsy Mermaid (TIB) said,

    Gross. I have to get back into the water, I saw wiggly worms before my eyes.πŸ’¦πŸ¬πŸ’¦

  3. janowrite said,

    LOVE it!!

  4. Jessica said,

    And therefore I love Renfield. He knows when to be serious and when to be a funny clown. Truly, this world seemed to be going down the drain.
    On the sad note, It’s a sad feeling for UK to be so obsess with getting out of EU 😦

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