Clarence Darrow’s Ghost, Trump’s Acquittal, Madonna’s Cream Pie and Uncle Ernie

February 5, 2020 at 11:57 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Clarence Darrow’s Ghost, Trump’s Acquittal, Madonna’s Cream Pie and Uncle Ernie

The U.S. Senate voted to acquit Donald Trump 52-48 on charges of abuse of power and 53-47 on charges of obstruction of Congress.

The ghost of Clarence Darrow (who had been released from the Underworld of Hades on the Norse trickster god Loki’s recommendation) never got a chance to shine during Trump’s trial in the Senate.

His particular talent for the Trump defence would have been to question witnesses and the Republican majority in the Senate had voted not to allow witnesses.

Nevertheless Darrow’s ghost did do a final summing up for the Trump defence at the Senate trial with these words,

“The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things,
of sailing ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings,
of why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.”

Darrow’s ghost then sat down.

The famed defence lawyer’s closing argument was totally lost on members on both sides of the aisle.

By using this piece of Jabberwockian poetic prose by Lewis Carroll as his closing argument for Trump’s defence, the great courtroom orator was implying that his closing argument made about as much sense as the rest of the trial.

But the nuances to be found by this brief speech was totally lost on the politicians and political pundits of 21st Century America on all sides.

Both CNN and Fox News totally ignored Darrow’s address.

As did The Washington Post and The New York Times.

Meanwhile on this day of Senate acquittal of Trump, as the clock ticked down towards midnight in Washington DC, the ghost of Gen. Qassem Soleimani appeared to Utah Sen. Mitt Romney and warned the Republican Senator that there was now a drone with his name on it.

Meanwhile allegations were now surfacing from the Underworld of Hades that the residents of the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, during coffee and lunch breaks from their time roasting away on barbecue spits, had hacked the Iowa Democratic caucus app and had tilted the results towards their own favourite son Pete Buttigieg.

However it was unlikely that Bernie Sanders who did not have the paranoid conspiratorial hysterics of one Hillary Rodham Clinton (who had many years ago tried to imagine the possibility of her husband’s marital infidelity was not real but was rather the result of a vast right wing conspiracy) would cry “Sodom and Gomorrah collusion!”.

Nor was it likely that Robert Mueller would be sent down to Hades to investigate.

On another front, the rock music legend Madonna had had a cream pie thrown in her face.

Her bodyguards (who were sobriety challenged at the time because they had been drinking way too many Harvey Wallbangers) claimed the cream pie assailant was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.

The cream pie assault had taken place only hours after Madonna said Prince Harry and Meghan Markle should trade “boring old Canada” for New York City.

Madonna wanted the couple to rent her New York City apartment from her.

How exciting a place New York City is could be seen from the fact that New York Governor Andrew Cuomo was currently burning several pinches of incense in front of statues of Baal and Moloch in the New York City penthouse apartment of a globalist billionaire.

Meanwhile in a jail in London England, an Australian named Uncle Ernie, who was awaiting a courtroom appearance at the Old Bailey, was currently looking at photos of rock star Madonna that he had snapped on his smart phone a while ago.

As he looked at the photos of Madonna and what she was showing, Uncle Ernie recited his own paraphrased version of lines from Edward Lear’s 19th Century poem The Owl and The Pussy-cat, “What a horrible pussy you are, you are, what a horrible pussy you are.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 5th


  1. Kritika said,

    Madonna’s Cream Pie face was hilarious. What lame bodyguards, they drink while working. Haha

  2. David Redpath said,

    Yes, Uncle Ernie has never forgiven
    Madonna for outing him as her only
    backing dancer without AIDS.
    At the time he stormed off, back to
    Sydney, and revived his acclaimed
    role as Cumelita in the drag queen
    extravaganza, Les Girls.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Madonna’s loss was Les Girls’ gain.

      Or was that vice-versa?

      Madonna’s gain was Les Girls’ loss? ๐Ÿค”

      • David Redpath said,

        The jury is still out on that one.
        Just like Uncle Ernie’s wiener ๐ŸŒญ
        was constantly flopping out
        of his sequined g-string. That
        was the trivial little reason the
        health department eventually
        closed the show down ๐Ÿ˜ช

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I guess they didn’t want anyone in the audience to contract food poisoning. ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ

  3. amleta said,

    Madonna’s cream pie….I thought ypu will give us the receipe ๐Ÿ˜†

  4. Hyperion said,

    You cannot imagine what I assumed when I thought Uncle Ernie cream pied Madonna. And why not? Itโ€™s the only thing Madonna could do to recapture her fame and screaming audiences. The Halls of the Oval Office are closed for steam cleaning after Madonna visited the GOO to find out how all of the libertine spooge thrown at him just slides right off. Madonna is well known for practicing to perfection.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, I remember when Madonna and Hustler publisher Larry Flynt joined forces to defend Bill Clinton during the time of his impeachment I wondered if they would formally form an organization called Sluts and Pornographers For Clinton.

      Bill’s mother would have been so proud if she was still alive. ๐Ÿคช

      • Hyperion said,

        Ahh, thatโ€™s the Slits and Clicks for Bernie Iโ€™ve seen recently. They convinced me Bernie is the Messiah.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        A Trotskyite Messiah since he was a formal member of the World Socialist Society in the 1960s.

      • Hyperion said,

        Yes, heโ€™s a Bolshevik at heart.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, little did Lenin realize when he ordered the gunship Aurora to keep its lights and its sights on the Winter Palace in Saint Petersburg that the future would belong to Bernie.

      • Hyperion said,

        Bernie, Bernie, he’s our man. If he can’t ruin us, nobody can. Well, unless it’s a Buttkeg and Piglosi ticket. That should pretty much end us all.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Pete Buttkeg- the proper spelling and pronounciation of Peter Buttigieg.

        The man whose father Joseph Buttigieg was a Communist who taught at Notre Dame University from 1980 to 2017 (thus showing how downhill both Notre Dame University and the Catholic Church in the U.S..have become).

        The elder Buttigieg having edited and translated the 3-volume English edition of Antonio Gramsci’s Prison Notes.

        As well as the elder Buttigieg being the founder and 1st President of the International Gramsci Society.

        Antonio Gramsci being the Italian Communist theoretician of the 1920s and 1930s who advocated using sexual perversion and debauchery to bring society and culture down to the point where it could make a Communist revolution successful.

        Gramsci’s slogan being, “Make a man depraved and you can make him your slave.”

        The elder Buttigigieg being quite successful in his own family by his son growing up to be a practicing sodomite.

        Yes and as Pete Buttkeg takes the Oath of Office, television cameras will show VP Nancy Piglosi proudly ripping up copies of the U.S. Constitution in the background.

  5. House of Heart said,


  6. Jessica said,

    Me: search “Madonna had had a cream pie thrown in her face”
    Google: Show me bunch of article that got nothing to do with my search.
    Me: click one link and then another, then another… 1 hour later “Oh my gosh why am I reading gossips! I should be blogging!”
    So here I am Christopher scowling at you just a tiny bit for distracting me away ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜‚

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Actually Madonna did not have a cream pie thrown in her face.

      I think Jessica you read the 2019 winter and spring posts of mine but you then went right into reading the 2019 autumn posts (and have been reading them ever since) and skipped the 2019 summer posts on my blog.

      If you had read the 2019 summer posts, you’d have read those chapters where I introduced the character of Harvey Tallbanger an invisible 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.

      But people can see Harvey Tallbanger if they drink that alcoholic drink called a Harvey Wallbanger.

      But one thing Harvey Tallbanger does is he goes around throwing cream pies in the faces of people who make outrageously stupid statements.

      I wrote chapters where Harvey Tallbanger throws cream pies in the faces of Donald Trump, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, the Premier of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and the brainless leader of a Canadian political party that calls itself the Bloc Quรฉbรฉcois – all of whom are prone to making outrageously stupid statements.

      However in those chapters, it’s inevitable that someone around the time of the pie throwing has been drinking Harvey Wallbangers and so they see the 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears named Harvey Tallbanger throw the cream pie.

      In this chapter, Madonna’s bodyguards have been drinking Harvey Wallbangers and they said they saw a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit throw the cream pie.

      So that means that didn’t actually happen.

      What did happen was Madonna told Prince Harry and Meghan Markle that Canada was a boring place and they shouldn’t live there (so that’s the story you should google).

      She told them they should rent her apartment in New York City and live there.

      If Madonna had had any brains (which of course she doesn’t), she’d have realized that any place where I live couldn’t possibly be boring.

      But being brainless, she made an outrageously stupid statement and so ended up having a cream pie thrown in her face by Harvey Tallbanger. ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ˜‚

      • Jessica said,

        Of course, it’s a given. With you around a country can’t possibly be boring ๐Ÿ˜ sometimes people speak without thinking.

        But on the pie throwing bunny, I actually remember him. I just forgot ๐Ÿ˜€ that remind me, I still have some backlist to read ๐Ÿ˜›

        BTW, is your zodiac a Taurus by any chance?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I’m a Sagittarius.๐Ÿ™‚

        Born on the same day as William Blake (though he was born a couple of centuries earlier) – November 28th.

        Blake was of course the eccentric English poet and artist who believed in the existence of angels, wood nymphs and water nymphs and fairies and elves (like I do).

        I was almost born on the same day as C.S. Lewis – who was born on November 29th – albeit he was born well over half a century earlier.

        And of course, Lewis in his writings, particularly the Chronicles of Narnia, incorporated a lot of mythological creatures like fauns and centaurs.๐Ÿ˜€

      • Jessica said,

        Angels, wood nymphs and water nymphs and fairies and elves… you just wrote everything I admire. Chronicles of Narnia is one of favorites. Haha ๐Ÿ˜€ and I’m a Sagittarius too ๐Ÿ˜‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No wonder you have such a good sense of humour. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚

      • Jessica said,

        Hehehe ๐Ÿคญ Thank you

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        You’re welcome. ๐Ÿ˜€

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