February 9, 2020 at 11:55 pm (Mythology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )


Mictlantecuhtli (or Lord of The Land of The Dead in Nahuatl the language of the Aztecs) was the Aztec god of death and the ruler of the Aztec underworld Mictlan. 

Mictlantecuhtli was closely associated with owls, spiders and bats.

As well as with the direction south.

In the Aztec creation myth, Mictlantecuhtli tried to delay the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl on his journey into Mictlan (the Land of the Dead).

Quetzalcoatl was searching for the bones of the creatures from the previous world of the 4th Sun in order to make mankind in this the aeon (age) of the 5th Sun.

Interestingly enough the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau of the Third Reich thought that mankind was currently living in the age of the 5th Sun.

In order to block Quetzalcoatl from making mankind, Mictlantecuhtli insisted that Quetzalcoatl could only take the bones (of the dead creatures from the previous world of the 4th Sun) if the feathered serpent god walked around the underworld 4 times blowing a conch-shell trumpet.

This seemingly easy task was made difficult by the fact that the god of the underworld gave Quetzalcoatl an ordinary conch-shell and so it would not sound.

Quetzalcoatl got around the problem by having worms drill holes in the shell and then placing bees inside it so that the horn would sound like a trumpet.

“Dem bones, dem bones going to rise again”, the bees inside the conch shell sang in musical harmony.

So Mictlantecuhtli let Quetzalcoatl have the bones.

But Mictlantecuhtli arranged for his assistants the Micteca to dig a large pit so that Quetzalcoatl would stumble into it when he tried to leave Mictlan.

Sure enough when passing the pit and unluckily startled by a passing quail (who was having a prophetic vision of being named a Vice-Presidential candidate by a drug producing bush in the distant future), Quetzalcoatl fell into the pit and the bones became scattered and broken like “cartoons in a cartoon graveyard” (and the only thing that would be resurrected would be Paul Simon’s musical career in the 1980s).

However Quetzalcoatl roused himself (by conjuring up images in his mind of what the future Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec would look like) and gathering up the bones he managed to extract himself from the pit and get away unscathed from the clutches of Mictlantecuhtli (a ballad about the whole incident is to be found in a collection of unpublished songs and forgotten recordings by Johnny Cash).

Once safely delivered to the goddess Cihaucoatl (the snake woman wearing the serpent skirt who was the Aztec earth mother goddess), the bones were mixed with Quetzalcoatl’s blood and from the mixture sprang forth the first men and women.

Cihuacoatl ground up the bones from the previous ages in a special blender (later used for making martinis in the modern age) and mixed them with Quetzalcoatl’s blood.

Those bones and blood were shaken not stirred.

As for Mictlantecuhtli, one day all souls would come face to face with him the Aztecs believed.

In the meantime, Mictlantecuhtli wears a costume of owl feathers and a necklace of eyeballs.

He would have probably been the talk of the town on Hollywood’s Oscar red carpet tonight if his plane hadn’t been shot down by a drone.

The drone had received erroneous information that it was Quetzalcoatl and not Mictlantecuhtli on board the plane.

And of course Quetzalcoatl was one and the same being as Jesus Christ according to Mormon Church teaching.

And therefore Quetzalcoatl would have been a deity revered by Utah Senator Mitt Romney.

For some mysterious reason, a person who had access to killer drones at his beck and call had it in for Mitt Romney and the Mormon deity of Quetzalcoatl/Christ.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 9th 

Cihuacoatl’s recipe: Ground round bones plus several dashes of Quetzalcoatl’s blood equals 5th Sun humanity


  1. Anonymole said,

    Part fact, part fiction and never a clue as to which is which.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I’m like the advertising song for those old Oil of Olay TV commercials, “Keep them guessing.”

  2. George F. said,

    Drac always creates his own fascinating realities…

  3. George F. said,

    Yeah, I think Romney is history too…I love the eyeball necklace and the owl feathers…and I had no idea that “Quetzalcoatl was one and the same being as Jesus Christ according to Mormon Church teaching.” That’s a big wow!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, the First Nations peoples indigenous tribes of the Americas are remnants of lost Israelite tribes according to Mormon teaching.

      And Quetzalcoatl is one and the same being as Jesus Christ.

  4. David Redpath said,

    I’m not familiar with that particular
    Johnny Cash song, Chris. Possibly
    for the fact it is unpublished, and
    forgotten? 🤔 But you’ve reminded
    me of another one of his recordings.

    Well, the bible tells us
    about a man
    Who ruled Babylon
    and all its land
    Around the city,
    he built a wall
    And declared that Babylon
    would never fall
    He had concubines and wives
    He called his Babylon “Paradise”
    On his throne he drank and ate
    But for Belshazzar
    it was gettin’ late
    For he was weighed in the balance
    and found wanting
    His kingdom was divided,
    couldn’t stand

    Well, the people feasted
    and drank their wine
    And praised the false gods
    of his time
    All holy things
    they scorned and mocked
    But suddenly
    all their mocking stopped
    For on the wall,
    there appeared a hand
    Nothin’ else, there was no man
    In blood the hand began to write
    And Belshazzar couldn’t hide
    his fright

    Well, no one around could understand
    What was written
    by the mystic hand
    Belshazzar tried,
    but couldn’t find
    A man who could give him
    peace of mind
    But Daniel, the prophet,
    a man of God
    He saw the writing on the wall
    in blood
    Belshazzar asked him what it said
    And Daniel turned to the wall
    and read:
    “My friend, you’re weighed in the balance and found wanting
    Your kingdom is divided,
    it can’t stand
    You’re weighed in the balance
    and found wanting
    Your houses are built
    upon the sand”

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      As soon as I wrote the line about getting away “unscathed from the clutches of Mitlantecuhtli”, the thought occurred to me, I wonder how Johnny Cash would work such a vast array of syllables into a single lyrical line?

      So I decided to imply that the Man In Black was able to accomplish that but the work still remains unpublished and the recording lost under Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker mask.

      But Johnny Cash’s song about Babylon is defintely apropo for contempoary America.

      • David Redpath said,

        With an em phasis on the syl lables.
        Thanks for the heads up, Chris. I can
        tell my scantily dressed undergraduate
        research assistant to stop looking
        through the Johnny Cash Unpublished
        Archives, and get back to what she
        does best. Reorganising the drawers
        of my imagination 😎

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Scantily clad undergraduate research assistants always seem to bring out the best in one’s drawers. 😎

      • David Redpath said,

        To be filed under ‘URGENT’.
        WIth a capital URGE 🙄

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That leaves one forgetting to be a “gent”.

  5. David Redpath said,

    That reminds me of something
    inscrutable that Mr. Inn Lu once
    “Just as wagging your tail doesn’t
    make you a dog, hanging around the
    Gents, doesn’t make Uncle Ernie a

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      That Mr. Inn Lu is full of inscrutable sayings.

      I can see his quotations being put into fortune cookies at a Chinese restaurant for secret agents and intelligence service code breakers.

  6. Dawn Renee said,

    “Shaken, not stirred”‘, so much is on the method

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