Countess Draculina, Justin, A Gender Confused Wombat and A Pot Smoking Walrus

February 24, 2020 at 11:09 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Countess Draculina, Justin, A Gender Confused Wombat and A Pot Smoking Walrus

Justin entered the mirror.

And felt the wet sand under his feet.

What happened to his shoes and socks he wondered?

The Basilides gnostic god Abraxas had them on his two feet (which were heads of serpents) in another dimension.

Walking through two inter-dimensional portal mirrors on the same night can cause stuff to go missing.

Which was always the noted Australian entertainer Uncle Ernie’s explanation whenever his g-string style jock strap fell off while he was on the stage in his drag queen show and the audience could see what he had (or lack thereof!).

Justin looked at the vampiress who stood before him.

“A little bird tells me that you’re the Countess Draculina the daughter of Count Dracula,” Justin spoke with his usual meandering manner of speaking.

Countess Draculina leaned forward and shouted “Boo!”.

The little hummingbird on Justin’s shoulder flew away.

“I didn’t know there was a full moon tonight,” Justin looked at the full moon and the Scottish castle behind Countess Draculina.

“That is an illusion,” Draculina laughed, “caused by a great searchlight (invented by Nikola Tesla) casting its full moon signal into the air.”

“Will signs and wonders never cease?” Justin used a fine tooth comb to remove gray hairs from his hair.

“Those signs and wonders will soon increase and increase,” Draculina licked the blood off her lips just as an Australian wombat (who was actually Uncle Ernie shapeshifting from another dimension) crawled up and licked the blood off her breasts atop her low-cut gothic attire mini dress.

“And what is the purpose of all these signs and wonders?” Justin asked as he inhaled pot smoke that was being exhaled by a pot smoking Arctic walrus that had just crawled on to the shore from the sea.

The ghost of John Lennon appeared on one of the high towers of the distant Scottish castle and began singing a paraphrased version of one of his old hits, “Imagine all the people worshipping the Antichrist… someday you’ll join us and the world will be as one.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopherย 
Monday February 24th


  1. Kritika said,

    Haha this was fun.

  2. David Redpath said,

    The Numbat, an insectivorous
    marsupialย native to Australia,
    is actually Uncle Ernie’s spirit
    animal. But he does morph into
    a Wombat from time to time.
    When asked why, Uncle Ernie
    replied that a Wombat eats
    roots, shoots, and leaves?
    I just don’t get it ๐Ÿค”

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      No doubt sampling all of Mother Earth’s natural pharmaceutical products as a wombat.

      I guess all the wood in your home is in good condition as a result of Uncle Ernie in his capacity as numbat. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

      • David Redpath said,

        No termites under our floorboards,
        Chris ๐Ÿœ Thanks to Uncle Ernie’s
        midnight munchie attacks.
        He’s thinking of resurrecting the
        extinct Tasmania Tiger as his next
        spirit animal ๐Ÿ… He has a thing for
        little tiger, but it always seems to
        get him in trouble ๐Ÿค”

  3. Jessica said,

    Hohoho! Draculina doesn’t seem so bad now… and John Lennon’s ghost? That I must see ๐Ÿ˜†

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, you”ll have to pay a visit to the west coast of Scotland and look up that Scottish castle and say hello to John Lennon’s ghost. ๐Ÿ˜Œ

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: