Trotskyite Anarchists Throw Burning Debris Against Canadian Trains

February 26, 2020 at 11:34 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Trotskyite Anarchists Throw Burning Debris Against Canadian Trains

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was once again giving a news editorial on a very very independent Ottawa radio station.

“Well, my dear Canadian friends,” Renfield began, “maybe you should just all move down to the U.S. of A. since according to Donald Trump’s press conference earlier today, the U.S. has the Coronavirus totally under control.”

“Of course, as we all know,” Renfield went on as he downed a bottle of gin, “such an announcement from such a personage is probably the strongest indication yet that the U.S. is about to experience a very severe outbreak of the Coronavirus.”

“As for Canada,” Renfield started on his second bottle of gin, “the Marxist Trotskyite insurrection continues as Prime Minister Justin says that he is very very upset with Tyendinaga Mohawk warriors throwing burning signs and burning tires at trains on railway tracks. If that isn’t enough to send the Tyendinaga Mohawk Warriors quaking in their Made In Communist China moccasins, nothing will.”

Renfield started on his third bottle of gin, “Former astronaut and currently spaced out Canadian Federal Minister of Transport Marc Garneau says that throwing burning debris at trains is recklessness.”

The British MP bit into a tuna fish sandwich and continued, “Throwing burning debris at trains isn’t recklessness.”

“It’s terrorism,” Renfield pounded his fist on the table, “still when you’ve got a wimp for your leader, wimpyness is sure to follow all around the cabinet table.”

Out on the streets of Ottawa, federal Liberal cabinet ministers were approaching people and saying, “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”

Unless of course they were vegans in which case they’d ask for money for plant based burgers.

“I notice,” Renfield continued, “that Quebec Premier Francois Legault is astutely pointing out that the Kanesatake Mohawk Warriors are smuggling in arms including AK-47 assault rifles onto their blockades of various roads in Quebec as the Federal Liberals continue to do the lotus position upside down on their environmentally friendly eco-recyclable yoga mats, chant
“ommmm” and get in touch with their inner sugarplum fairy.

“Although some pot-smoking Kanesatake elder says it’s sheer hysteria to say that the Kanesatake Mohawk Warriors have AK-47s or any other type of heavy weaponry. Anybody with brains knows the Kanesatake Mohawk Warriors own AK-47s and other heavy weapons. Which they purchased following years of smuggling cheaper U.S. cigarettes into Canada and selling them to Canadians at still lower prices than Canadian cigarettes with their various federal and provincial taxes. Something which the Brian Bulroney government of the day turned a blind eye to. They didn’t even seize the weapons when the Mohawk blockade of Oka, Quebec ended in 1990.”

. . .

Down in Havana, Cuba, the Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike who rented a condo in the city was meeting with Dr. Ja Oui Khan a sanity challenged scientist who rented laboratories in the city (and who also taught science in a government run literacy program recently praised by Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders).

“Dr. Khan,” Pike remarked as he smoked a Cuban cigar, “since the Trotskyite Communist 4th International are using a small group of Wet’ suwet’en hereditary chiefs’ land dispute with a natural gas company to try to disrupt the Canadian economy and destabilize the Canadian nation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I in the Neo-Nazi Fourth Reich Global Outreach can use these indigenous warriors’ blockades to start a race war which is always to my organization’s advantage. I thought it might be cool if I could drop a test tube of the Coronavirus at one of these blockades. The Trotskyites can then scream genocide and say the RCMP are behind it. Do you have access to such a test tube?”.

“I do,” Dr. Khan answered, “A metal rat I created which has the head of a demon buffalo on it is currently the Walmart style greeter at the Wuhan Institute of Virology in Wuhan, China. I can send him to either a Tyendinaga blockade in Ontario or a Kanesatake blockade in Quebec. Interestingly enough the metal rat demon buffalo head’s headless buffalo body is currently wandering the provinces of Ontario and Quebec having recently been brought back to life by a necromancer or shaman of unknown origin. The metal rat with the demon buffalo head can go looking for it as he dumps test tubes of Coronavirus.”

“Splendid,” Pike threw his Cuban cigar stub at the foot of a statue of an old Chicago cigar store Indian he had recently bought at a community organizing fundraising event in Chicago.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 26th


  1. David Redpath said,

    A very informative post, Chris.
    It all reminds me of a favourite
    Warren Zevon song of mine …

    Roland was a warrior
    From the Land of the Midnight Sun
    With a Thompson Gun for hire
    Fighting to be done
    The deal was made in Denmark
    On a dark and stormy day
    So he set out for Biafra
    To join the bloody fray
    Through ’66 and 7
    They fought the Congo War
    With their fingers on their triggers
    Knee-deep in gore
    The days and nights they battled
    The Bantu to their Knees
    They killed to earn their living
    And to help out the Congolese
    Roland the Thompson Gunner
    Roland the Thompson Gunner
    His comrades fought beside him
    Van Owen and the rest
    But of all the Thompson Gunners
    Roland was the best
    So the CIA decided
    They wanted Roland dead
    That son-of-a-bitch Van Owen
    Blew off Roland’s Head
    Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
    Time Time Time for another week of war
    Norway’s bravest son
    Time stands still for Roland til he evens up the score
    They can still see his headless body
    Stalking through the night
    In the muzzle flash of Roland’s Thompson Gun
    In the muzzle flash of Roland’s Thompson Gun
    Roland searched the continent
    For the man who’d done him in
    He found him in Mombassa
    In a bar room drinkin’ Gin
    Roland aimed his Thompson Gun
    He didn’t say a word
    But he blew Van Owen’s body
    From there to Johanasburg.
    Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
    Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
    Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
    Talkin about the man
    Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner
    The eternal Thompson Gunner
    Still wanderin through the night
    Now it’s ten years later
    But he still keeps up the fight
    In Ireland, In Lebanon
    In Palastine and Berkley
    Patty Hurst
    Heard the burst
    Of Roland’s Thompson Gun
    And bought it.

    ~ Warren Zevon

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      An excellent song, David. 😀

      One I’ve never heard of before.

      Actually a song right up my alley.

      Reads like the sort of song I’d have written if I’d been doing geopolitical commentary in the 1960s and ’70s instead of the 2010s and 2020s.

  2. David Redpath said,

    Warren Zevon was a great song writer.
    He penned Linda Ronstadt’s very
    best songs.

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