Late Victorian/Early Edwardian Photo of Kali?

February 27, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Late Victorian/Early Edwardian Photo of Kali?

Former British Conservative MP Agathor Christie was attending an antique photo exhibit being held at the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.

He was looking at a photo where the caption beneath it said that it was a late Victorian/early Edwardian era photo of the Hindu goddess Kali:

“Is this true?” Agathor Christie asked Dashwood Forrest the art gallery owner and curator.

“Well, according to the journal of esteemed London portrait photographer Edward H. Pickering, it is,” Forrest answered.

“But it seems to me I read somewhere that Kali has ten arms,” Agathor scratched his head.

“Well, having ten arms is just one of the forms she appears in (her Mahakali form) and since according to Mr. Pickering,” Forrest read from a photocopy of the photographer’s original journal, “Kali wanted her photo taken discreetly and didn’t want to attract attention walking the streets of London, she just appeared in the form of a regular woman. Walking down the streets with ten arms would have definitely attracted attention to one’s self.”

“That’s a good point,” Agathor had to agree.

“What was she doing in London?” Agathor’s private eye partner former Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley inquired.

“She wanted to see the capital of this Empire that claimed to rule her people of India,” Forrest answered.

“What were Kali’s origins?” Agathor put on his monocle๐Ÿง and took a closer look at the photo.

“Well,” Forrest answered, “according to one tradition, the warrior goddess Durga, who also has ten arms, was riding a lion or tiger into battle against the Mahishasura (or Mahisa) the buffalo demon. Durga became so enraged at the buffalo demon in this battle that her anger burst from her forehead in the form of Kali. Once born, Kali went wild and ate all the demons she came across, stringing their heads on a chain which she wore around her neck.”

“Sounds to me Durga or Kali should go to Canada and battle a buffalo demon who’s wandering around there,” Agathor reflected over a glass of cognac just handed to him, “the man who defeated me as MP twice in the past two elections Renfield R. Renfield is currently visiting Canada and informs me that a demon buffalo was recently raised from the dead at its resting place in Tail Creek, Alberta. It is now wandering without a head across the provinces of Ontario and Quebec where it is aiding Mohawk Warriors and Trotskyite Marxists in a insurrection dubbed #ShutDownCanada.”

“Seems to me I heard something about that,” Forrest acknowledged.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 27th


  1. Kritika said,

    Fabulous. Kali and Durga should go to Canada hahaha Take along Pan Goatee too.

  2. David Redpath said,

    You don’t want to come across Kali
    in her destructive aspect! She once
    attended a performance of Les Girl,
    Uncle Ernie’s Drag Queen cabaret,
    in Sydney’s Kings Cross. Kali didn’t
    think Uncle Ernie’s jokes were
    particularly funny, so she incinerated
    his dress๐Ÿ‘—๐Ÿ”ฅLeaving the audience
    aghast at Uncle Ernie’s dangling
    sequined g-string. He had simply
    suggested that Kali, having ten arms,
    could earn a fortune at one of those
    Canadian Rub ‘n’ Tug establishments.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      No, you don’t want to come across Kali in her destructive aspects.

      Canadian Rub n Tug establishments?

      Funny, I’m Canadian and I’ve never heard of those.

      But then again someone on one occasion once compared me to Peter Sellers’ character of Chancey Gardener in the movie Being There so what do I know? (Although all my attempts to walk on water like Chancey Gardener did have proven to be extremely unsuccessful).

      I take it Uncle Ernie has been to Canada and visited one of these Rub N Tug establishments? ๐Ÿค”

      • David Redpath said,

        Of course you know nothing about
        those disreputable establishments!
        I can neither confirm, nor deny
        Uncle Ernie’s presence in Canada,
        due to those very strict entry
        regulations, but he hints that it was
        his idea for John Lennon and Yoko
        Ono to stage that Bed-in-for-Peace
        demonstration in Montreal, back in
        ’69. According to Uncle Ernie, he
        was there the whole time, hiding
        under the sheets with Neil Young,
        and Justin Bieber’s Grandmother! ๐Ÿค”

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Well, that definitely explains Justin Bieber’s ancestral origins.๐Ÿ˜Ž

  3. David Redpath said,

    Oops! That was meant to be secret.
    Uncle Ernie was even subjected to
    a Canadian court gag order.
    Fortunately, he enjoys the occasional
    gagging ๐Ÿ™Š Plus, he’s not Canadian.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      And most Canadians try to insist that Justin Bieber isn’t really Canadian either. ๐Ÿฆ˜

  4. David Redpath said,

    What kid wouldn’t be proud to have
    a convicted illicit drug chemist, a
    sequined g-string wearing renowned
    female impersonator, & party balloon
    sculptor for a grandfather? ๐Ÿ˜Ž

  5. Jessica said,

    Agathor is filled with bitterness about Renfield beating him ๐Ÿ˜

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