Coronavirus Panic, Gnostic God Abraxas, Qonzilqointec, Ho Babylon Minh and The Pascal Sacrifice On Mount Moriah

March 4, 2020 at 11:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Coronavirus Panic, Gnostic God Abraxas, Qonzilqointec, Ho Babylon Minh and The Pascal Lamb Sacrifice On Mount Moriah

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec living as a vampiric immortal isn’t worried about contracting the Coronavirus

The same was not true of the state of California where after only one death, the governor had declared a State of Emergency over the Coronavirus.

Outside a COSTCO store in the State of California, a long line up of people were waiting to rush in to buy emergency food supplies and prepping items as well as surgical face masks and bottles of hand sanitizer (even though the latter items had already been sold out).

A man dressed in American Revolutionary War era attire and riding a horse was going throughout the huge COSTCO parking lot and shouting in Paul Revere like fashion, “The Coronavirus is coming. The Coronavirus is coming.”

On a nearby city street, a woman dressed in a chicken costume with what appeared to be a small cloud encircling her chicken head was busy shouting, “The Coronavirus is falling. The Coronavirus is falling.”

Inside the COSTCO store, angered customers were shouting over the fact that all surgical face masks had been sold out and by their attitude were thus totally ignoring the U.S. Surgeon-General’s recent request that the U.S. general public refrain from buying surgical face masks.

At the cigarette counter, there were long line ups of people waiting to buy cigarettes thus totally ignoring a U.S. Surgeon-General’s report from the early 1960s that smoking cigarettes can cause lung cancer.

Meanwhile back in the surgical face mask aisle, the store manager announced that there was a supply of Halloween face masks that had been found and were now available in the Toy Department.

The manager was trampled and killed in the subsequent rush over to the Toy Department.

Two women eventually got into a huge fight over the last Halloween mask available -an Al Gore mask from the year 2000 with a Made In Florida dangling chad hanging from his mouth.

Meanwhile at the Vatican, Pope Francis was calling for algor-ethics at a Vatican Conference On Ethics In Algorithms and The Future of AI (Artificial Intelligence).

Speeding down a California freeway while being chased by a group of sinister government Men In Black was a Japanese female sex robot called Akira who was totally ignoring Pope Francis’ call for algor-ethics as she put a spiked high-heeled pedal to the metal and hit the gas on her huge carbon emissions polluting hummer.

Her front seat partner – a man called Paul- who was dressed up the way Jesus of Nazareth might look in a church Easter Passion play- was desperately reading a book called Re-Imagining Mind Control For Dummies.

In the back seat, a professorial looking type (who was really an ET from outer space) named Lassetter was taking huge swigs from a phallus shaped bottle of whisky.
Sitting next to him was an Afghan War vet named Billy-Bob who was coming down with a severe case of PTSD while looking at the stock market trading app on his smartphone and seeing how bad the market was falling and share prices were diving over the latest Coronavirus fears.

Watching comfortably the highway car chase on television in his living room at home was America’s leading (and only) Irish Jewish science-fiction writer of note – George Finneganburg.

Said an astounded George Finneganburg, “My Sci-Fi novel is really quite literally coming to life in this particular California car chase.”

. . .

Standing in front of a statue of Baphomet whose feet were covered by aborted babies, Senate Minority leader Sen. Chuck Schumer of New York threatened U.S. Supreme Court Justices Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh if they upheld a pro-life law from Louisiana.

“I want to tell you, Gorsuch, I want to tell you, Kavanaugh, you have released the whirlwind and you will pay the price,” Schumer thundered into the microphone as bats, locusts and scorpions flew out of his mouth while he spoke.

The ghost of Adolf Eichmann (dispensatationally released from Tartarus at the requests of the demons Baal and Baphomet) applauded in the background.

. . .

Meanwhile on Mount Moriah (also known as the Temple Mount) the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith (who was also known as the Lady Moriah) was directing a whirlwind to blow around the Mount.

A few weeks earlier the ancient gnostic god Abraxas (who had the head of a rooster, the arms and torso of a man, and the legs were two slithering serpents) had approached some Kabbalistic rabbis who belonged to the 21st Century Sanhedrin and told them to sacrifice a paschal lamb at an altar on the Temple Mount for Passover this year for the first time in 2000 years.

“To sacrifice a paschal lamb now will show that the imposter so-called Christ Jesus of Nazareth was not the Paschal Lamb sacrificed for all time,” Abraxas told the cheering rabbis.

A request for a permit from the Israeli government to perform the ceremony was then asked by the Sanhedrin.

Today at the Vatican, the gnostic god Abraxas appeared to the Communist and homosexual predatory Cardinals who now ran the Vatican under Pope Francis and told them his idea.

The pro-Francis group of Cardinals applauded since they didn’t really believe that Jesus of Nazareth was truly God Incarnate in the flesh never mind being the ultimate and final Paschal Lamb sacrifice for sin.

. . .

Now sporting blue hair, the Vietnamese vampiress and notably unique Shakespearian actress Ho Babylon Minh who would be playing a voodoo queen in a New Orleans style zombie and voodoo themed adaptation of Shakespeare’s MacBeth slated for tonight at the Pantages Theatre (directed by the ghost of Orson Welles) showed up in her car outside the doors of the theatre.

On his way into the show for tonight’s performance, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was asked about yesterday’s Super Tuesday primary in the U.S.

“Does this mean the end of Trotskyite Marxist Bernie Sander’s Presidential aspirations?” A member of the Press asked the MP.

“Well,” Renfield replied as he carried a silver handled walking stick, “Given the fact that we are all living in extremely surreal times (surreal as in a Salvador Dali painting of Australia’s infamous Uncle Ernie dressed as Cleopatra and embracing a giant asp), we must realize anything can happen. Bernie Sanders not only winning the Democratic nomination but winning the Presidency. In these surreal times, expect the Unexpected.”

Renfield kicked a snake with a rooster’s head out of the way as he entered the theatre.

-A vampire novel chapterΒ 
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 4th


  1. Kritika said,

    Hope the Halloween masks help, shortage of masks is in every state now. Uncle Ernie dressed as Cleopatra hahaha.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, they’ve sold out of surgical masks everywhere even though wearing a mask doesn’t really prevent you getting the Coronavirus.

      It will only help prevent you spreading it if you wear it when you already have the Coronavirus.

      Yes, Uncle Ernie as Cleopatra would have caused both Julius Caesar and Mark Antony to have heart attacks. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      • Kritika said,

        Yes. Thats true.
        Uncle Ernie sounds a real awesome character. (lol)

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, David was telling me that his adopted Uncle Ernie actually did work backstage on tour for several famous rock bands.

        I forget which ones although I think maybe even the Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin if I remember correctly.

      • Kritika said,

        Hahaha adopted. This is fantabulous. (lol)

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Of course maybe that’s just what David tells people. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

        Maybe they are familially related but David is afraid he’ll no longer be invited to social gatherings if people discover that Uncle Ernie is in fact a blood relative. 😱

      • Kritika said,

        πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ Oops. 🀐

  2. Hyperion said,

    My goodness! It seems the underworld is everywhere getting in on the act. I laughed my butt off reading about the COSTCO caper. It is so uncannily realistic that I would almost swear you quoted it directly from the Washington Post or New York Times. Eventually the truth will get out that marijuana or the active ingredient THC will subvert the virus and quell the panic. The stock market will recover due to the massive sales of toilet paper and munchies. I have an old Nixon Halloween mask and I stuff the nose holes with toilet paper. That has kept me safe so far except that time I went into the bank for a deposit. People jump to conclusions very fast these days.

  3. Dracul Van Helsing said,

    Thanks, Daniel. πŸ˜€

    Yes, it’s amazing how people will jump to conclusions when you go into a bank wearing a Nixon Halloween mask.

    You may have to try wearing a Joe Biden mask 🀑or a Nancy Pelosi Congressional District Sidewalk mask πŸ’©.

  4. Judy Kim said,

    Hilarious post, Newsom is such an ineffective jerk, he should announce a state of emergency for the homeless crisis not corona virus.

  5. Jessica said,

    Oh my the title is long!
    The irony of your stories is so spot on though. I can’t help but laugh at the cigarette and every crazy stuff that followed.
    This virus is throwing people off balance. I’ve seen from Ribanna’s blog post that even condoms are sold out. πŸ˜‚ Sigh.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Jessica, I guess the title is long. πŸ˜‚

      I guess I was hoping to be invited to read this chapter in a public libray in some town with a multisyllabic name in Wales.. 🀣

      Yes, this virus is really driving people over the bend.

      There was a news story on TV last night about people at a COSTCO store in Calgary buying a year’s supply of toilet paper in each one of their shopping carts.

      My roommate remarked that “I guess if people find themselves in quarantine, they want to be able to shit themselves to death.”

      Meanwhile in a Norwegian public library, some woman is sighing that condoms have been sold out in the Coronavirus panic. πŸ˜‚

      • Jessica said,

        Of course it’s a crisis. They after all uses the condoms to cover stuff. Like cellphone. Haha πŸ˜‚

        Your roommate is hilarious! Yes I’ve seen the toilet paper too 😁

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        So they’re rushing out to buy toilet paper where you live as well? πŸ˜‚

        I guess like great minds 🧠, great behinds πŸ‘ think alike as well. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      • Jessica said,

        Great behinds think alike. Priceless! πŸ˜‚

        No I don’t think there’s much panic here yet. I’ve only seen it in the news from Asia.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thank you, Jessica. πŸ˜€

        i guess you have so many excellent French and Italian wines and German beers to choose from over in Europe, you’re in no condition to start worrying about a panic just yet. πŸ˜‚

      • Jessica said,

        True haha πŸ˜€ but my favorite is Spanish wine (bias opinion :D)

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I’ve never tried Spanish wine.

        The European wines they seem to promote mainly in Canada are the French and Italian wines and the German dry white wines.

      • Jessica said,

        I’m not sure about German ones, but French and Italian are good too, just a bit more pricey.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, they seem to be quite expensive.

  6. David Redpath said,

    “May you live in interesting timesπŸ™”
    ~ The Inscrutable Mr. Inn Lu

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      We are certainly living in interesting times, David. πŸ‘½πŸ‘ΎπŸ€–πŸŽƒπŸ˜·πŸ€’

  7. David Redpath said,

    “This town is full of fat arseholes!
    Where is Pan Goatee now that the
    shit is really hitting the fan?”
    ~ Uncle Ernie, wearing a pink
    sequined g-string as a face mask,
    after going to COSTCO and finding
    all the toilet paper, sugar, and pasta
    shelves empty.

  8. Jennifer Vasquez said,

    Exactly what I need during these scary times-a Halloween mask!πŸ˜†πŸŽƒ

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