Just Another Day In Coronavirus World

March 8, 2020 at 7:26 pm (Commentary) (, )

Just Another Day In Coronavirus World

Custodians at the Louvre did not have such a mess to clean up these days as crowds were gone due to the Louvre being closed over fears of the Coronavirus.

“I thought the Mona Lisa had a mysterious smile,” one of the custodians (who was a huge fan of Nat King Cole’s repertoire of songs) remarked to a fellow custodian.

“She does,” the other custodian nodded, “just behind the surgical face mask she’s wearing.”

Meanwhile at the Musee d’ Orsay in Paris, custodians there were noting that in the portrait painting of Whistler’s Mother there was a huge stockpile of rolls of toilet paper besides her chair in the painting.

“She’s well prepared for possible quarantine due to the Coronavirus, I see,” one custodian remarked to the other.

Meanwhile at the Huntington Library Art Museum in San Marino, California, Thomas Lawrence’s Pinkie had started to turn blue and Thomas Gainsborough’s Blue Boy had started to turn pink as a result of contact with the Coronavirus.

“Well, it’s about time these two paintings acted in a more non-binary gender free colour fashion,” harrumphed an outspoken member of Pasadena’s LGBTQ2S+ (“we’re going to have to start using letters of the Sanskrit alphabet because we may run out of letters of the Latin alphabet to describe ourselves”) community.

At the Sistine Chapel in Rome, a figure of Pachamama (the Inca earth mother goddess recently welcomed to the Vatican by Pope Francis) wagged her finger and shook her head and the words “No. No. No. No touching” appeared in a cartoon like dialogue balloon over the figure of Michelangelo’s Jehovah extending his finger to the finger of Michelangelo’s Adam.

At the Vatican, Pope Francis told pilgrims via Livestream that he was being kept captive in the library.

In the background, books were sneezing themselves off the book shelves.

-A vampire novel chapterย 
written by Christopher
Sunday March 8th


  1. Jessica said,

    To be honest, I never get what so mysterious with Mona Lisa’s smile ๐Ÿคจ but imagining her with mask? That’s funny ๐Ÿ˜‚

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Just noticed this comment now, Jessica.

      I never got a notification for it.

      Yes, I could never see what was so mysterious about Mona Lisa’s smile. ๐Ÿค”

      Glad you found Mona Lisa wearing a surgical mask funny. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

      • Jessica said,

        WordPress doesn’t have a perfect robot so it sometimes miss something. Happens to me a lot.

        Yes, Mona Lisa with a mask is hilarious. I wonder why I haven’t seen any memes of her with it yet. It will probably go viral.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Two days after I posted this, I came across a WP blog where there was a meme photo of Mona Lisa wearing a surgical mask.๐Ÿ˜‚

        I wonder if they were inspired to create that from reading my blog post.

      • Jessica said,

        Most probably! Haha ๐Ÿ˜€ But then they should credit you for the idea ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        They should.

        I remember a vampire novel chapter I wrote at a blogging site called Journalspace back in 2006 where the Aztec vampiress Qonzilqointec turned Russian Bolshevik Leon Trotsky into a vampire in Mexico City in 1940 instead of succumbing to his ice pick assassination by a Stalinist agent head wounds and dying like history taught, someone put that tidbit into the Wikipedia article on Leon Trotsky in 2007. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

        It was eventually taken out of course.

        I remember on my Journalspace reader stats, there was some outfit called Method Studios that used to read my JS (as it was called) blog posts all the time back in 2004 and 2005.

        I googled them at the time and discovered they were a company involved in making TV commercials as well as helping in the production of Pirates of The Caribbean movies it said.

        I remember in early 2005, I wrote a short story where the Big Bad Wolf followed Little Red Riding Hood through the streets of a city in the winter time and just when it looked like the Wolf was about to pounce on the sexy adult mini skirt wearing Little Red (as I described her), Little Red turns around and says, “Shhhhh!”.

        So I ended that story on a humourous note.

        Then it was either Christmas 2005 or Christmas 2006, I saw a woman’s perfume commercial where they used that idea for the commercial.

        I imagine it was probably Method Studios who read my blog that stole that idea and put it in a commercial.

        Also in late 2005, I wrote a short story where I had a Christian minister fall in love with a mermaid he finds while looking for the Fountain of Youth in Florida.

        A mermaid’s tear had to be added to the cup of water from the fountain to make it effective.

        Then I remember sometime when I lived in Vancouver from 2012 to 2016, I was watching one of the later Pirates of the Caribbean movies on television for the first time.

        Up until that point in time, I had only watched the first two.

        And in that movie, they had a Christian minister falling in love with a mermaid and a mermaid’s tear had to be added to the cup of water from the Fountain of Youth to make it effective.

        I was so angry, I actually picked up my chair and threw it at the television.

        Fortunately it missed.

        But I was so angry.

        Method Studios had probably stolen another one of my ideas and put it in a Pirates of The Caribbean film like they turned my short story into a TV commercial and they didn’t pay me a single cent for using any of my ideas.

      • Jessica said,

        I found it! This was the comment I’m looking for.

        Wow, I’ll never look at Pirates of the Caribbean the same ever again. What happened to you is horrible! I’m sure it’s useless to contact them but it would be so nice if you can claim your right for the idea and prove that it was yours.

        Gosh, I’m pissed thinking about it. I have no idea how miserable I’ll feel if I was in your shoes. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

        I love sharing stories online, but your story made me anxious… people like them makes it hard to trust other ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, that’s why it’s always a good idea to make a copy of your work and keep it in a safe place.

        I never made any back-ups of the blog posts I wrote at Journalspace from 2004 to 2008.

        Then in December 2008, due to a system malfunction, the entire Journalspace network and site collapsed and all the data including everyone’s blog posts were lost.

        So I had no way of having that blog post to back up a legal argument.

      • Jessica said,

        ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅSO annoying how they get away with it while you suffered through a lot. I’m speechless. And seriously got no words of comfort.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s okay, Jessica.

        Somehow I’ll get back on my feet again.

        I’ve still got my imagination which must be good since others seem to want to help themselves to stories I create from it.

      • Jessica said,

        A bittersweet comfort but true. โ˜บ A creator’s spirit can never be beaten by copycats.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Very true, Jessica. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. David Redpath said,

    I had noticed a similar phenomenon,
    with several of Pablo Picasso’s blue
    period paintings turning a lighter
    shade of pale green ๐Ÿคข

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Probably as a result of art museum patrons having watched Donald Trump’s speech on television the night before.๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ

  3. David Redpath said,

    With such
    an on the ball leader,
    who can’t even read
    a teleprompter,
    who needs a pandemic?
    When Trump speaks,
    the Bear Market falls asleep
    Can you hear the roar
    as Wall Street calls for a medic?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, the stock market dropping over 2000 points after Trump’s speech.

      Katy Perry needs to put a tiger in Trump’s tank.

  4. David Redpath said,

    Donald would just love the chance
    to grab a Katycat ๐Ÿˆ

  5. Kritika said,

    I entered Hogwarts School of Art. Enjoyed reading the toilet paper piled up in a painting ๐Ÿ˜œ.

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