Asmodeus, Nimrod and The Amazing Syrian Teen Saint Who Fights Epidemics

March 27, 2020 at 11:24 pm (Biographical, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Asmodeus, Nimrod and The Amazing Syrian Teen Saint Who Fights Epidemics

The demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were sitting atop one of the buildings that overlooked Saint Peter’s Square and were watching the proceedings down below.

They watched a lone Pope Francis stroll across the square and then sit in a chair under a canopy with a microphone in front of him.

Behind him was a Miraculous Crucifix of Christ that was only brought into the square at Christmas or Easter of a Holy Year (the last time it was in the Square was during the pontificate of Saint John Paul II during the Holy Year of 2000) or during times of plague and epidemic.

Pope Francis, after a priest had read from the Gospel of Mark where the account of Christ calming a storm at sea is told, then addressed the empty square to impart an Urbi et Orbi blessing upon the City (Rome) and the World.

“Why is the Pope speaking with his back turned on Christ?” Nimrod asked as he licked his Venus Fly Trap ice cream cone.

“It probably serves as a metaphor for the past 7 years of his 7 year papacy,” Asmodeus answered as he smoked a cigarette and sipped his bottle of Louisiana bourbon.

“What’s he saying?” Nimrod asked as he tried to get wax out of his ears.

An after effect of trying to read the Latin edition of The Necronomicon by candlelight last night.

“Oh, the gist of it is he’s telling people, It’s all your fault that this pandemic happened. If you had only followed the globalist agenda that I as your feigning humility Neo-Marxist tyrant-in-chief had told you to do, none of this would have happened. And now you have to stay in your homes and not receive the Body and Blood of Christ at the Mass as your punishment,” Asmodeus lit himself another dozen cigarettes and stuck them in his mouth.

“Wow, he actually said that?” Nimrod was horrified to discover that the take-out delivery soup he had ordered did not have a fly in it.

“Not in those blunt words of course,” Asmodeus rubbed some Friar’s Balsam on his lip burns, “He used nice sounding euphemisms like all adherents of the Modernist heresy are prone to do as Pope Saint Pius X noted in his 1907 encyclical Pascendi.”

“What is the heresy of Modernism?” Nimrod asked as he took a selfie of himself with his smart phone.

“It’s the synthesis of all heresies,” Asmodeus answered as he started playing an antique theremin musical instrument.

Meanwhile at the Catholic Cathedral in the German city of Aachen built by the Emperor Charlemagne (who was also buried there upon his death in 814 AD), the Cathedral’s resident archivist and historian suddenly recalled recently that the Cathedral held the relics of the little known patron saint of resisting epidemics in its basement chamber of relics.

The relics were of a 16-year-old girl killed by the Romans in Syria for professing the Christian faith.

The girl suffered a particularly excruciating death.

She was tied to two bent palm trees and then torn apart as the trunks were released.

The Syrian teen saint’s relics were brought to Aachen by King Otto III in 997 AD.

They were kept in a tomb underneath a slab in the cathedral which could be seen up until 1912.

They were then moved to the reliquary in the basement.

The removal of the Syrian teen saint’s shrine from a prominent place in the cathedral to a basement reliquary occurred in the year which saw the Titanic sink.

The First World War broke out a couple of years later.

But nobody would have really connected the moving of the saint’s relics with those events.

That is until it suddenly hit the Aachen Cathedral’s resident archivist/historian.

The archivist/historian knew that the patron saint of resisting epidemics had her relics among the relics in this cathedral.

What was her name again? The archivist/historian tried to recall.

And then her name- the name of the teen Syrian girl who had died so cruelly at the hands of the Romans for professing her Christian faith in 177 AD Syria- the teen saint who became the patron saint of resisting epidemics – her name?

Saint Corona.

And her Feast Day is May 14th- the date that Pope Francis was to announce this year that Catholic schools and centres of learning were to henceforth promote loyalty to the New World Order.

The meeting had to be postponed to October due to the outbreak of the Coronavirus.

Saint Corona: In happier times before she encountered soldiers of the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius’ army.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Friday March 27th
2020.

20 Comments

  1. Kritika said,

    How brutally they killed Saint Corona. A frog ordering food with no fly, this is funny and he is taking out the ear wax. Haha
    Enjoyed reading it.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, it was very brutal the way they killed Saint Corona. 😢

      Glad you enjoyed the humourous comic relief in the story with Nimrod getting food with no flies in it and trying to take wax out of his ears. 😀

  2. Hyperion said,

    The humor in the commentary is first rate as always, but it gave me chills reading about Saint Corona and the connection to world events. This is DVH Vampire Novels at its best. I don’t know how you keep your standard so high unless you actually write while traveling in Set’s cannabis powered dirigible.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks for the wonderful compliments, Daniel. 😀

      Glad to hear that my writing is accelerating at its best in these times of crisis. 🙂

      I’m not sure how I keep my standards so high.

      I suppose I owe it to God for getting me to read the work of Malachi Martin (a Jesuit priest who was kicked out of the Jesuit order back in the 1960s since he was neither a Marxist nor a homosexual which seemed to be the primary prerequisite for being a Jesuit back then and even more so today) who wrote a book on Geopolitics called The Keys of This Blood back in 1990.

      I had never even heard of the term Geopolitics until I read Father Martin’s book.

      The premise of Father Martin’s book (in which he analyzed the world geopolitics of the late ’80s and early ’90s) was that one could only clearly analyze and understand geopolitical happenings is if one believed in the actual existence of the Supernatural and the actual existence of God, the Devil, angels and saints in particular.

      I guess since I believe in all that, that’s why I come up with insight that doesn’t even enter the calculations and prognostications of most geopolitical analysts who work in government and media.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think Father Martin wrote that book for you to connect with and start your journey of creating a cast of characters that show us in great wit and humor the follies of the human race. We can see ourselves clearly but without the harsh vitriol that only inflames like mind stooges from Hell’s loins. Right on Write on my friend ✍🏻

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thank you, Daniel. 😀

        I will indeed write on. ✍🏻

      • Hyperion said,

        I am glad you will write on in these bleak times.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I lived the life of Charles Dickens’ Bleak House in the aftermath of the fight over my dad’s will and Estate so now I’ll continue to write on in the worst of times hoping to make the best of times.

      • Hyperion said,

        You have done well; weathered every storm, and dodged the city’s sick o paths conveniently placed in close proximity by agents of nefarious intent. But, this is the life of a vampire hunter. Vampires everywhere.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Very true.

        And not enough lovely vampiresses with nice knockers showing atop low-cut dresses.

        My boyhood memories of the Hammer Studios Dracula films with Christopher Lee is showing there.

        My mother thought I would be scared watching those films but it was always other things on my mind while watching those movies.

      • Hyperion said,

        Ha ha ha! This is how we learn in the early years.

  3. Dawn Renee said,

    Blandina was more stoic in spirit than Marcus in all those ponderings.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Very true, Dawn.

      Blandina (who would definitely not be Dr. Hannibal Lecter’s or Woody Allen’s patron saint) was a lot more stoic in spirit.

      • Dawn Renee said,

        Indeed not

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I suppose at some point in the future, Woody Allen will have enough material tor writing a screenplay and directing a film called Midnight In Hell.

      • Dawn Renee said,

        Well, some times it seems certain characters get a 2nd wind or another chance at life like Set did a coin toss and granted another go around

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, they do.

        I did happen to like that film Midnight In Paris.

        The atmosphere of 1920s Paris and 1890s Paris is an atmosphere I think I would have revelled in among artists and writers and dancers and actors and actresses.

      • Dawn Renee said,

        I believe that is so. It is an art, that which everyone accomplishes in collaboration & with the same vision (akin to monks creating a Mandela, perhaps) to create a film or dance a dance together that transports others to a time they feel connected to, one of which they may or not lived long ago.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Very true.

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