Renfield, Franz Kohler, Van Helsing, Hera and Zeus On The 75th Anniversary of Hitler’s Death

April 30, 2020 at 9:54 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield, Franz Kohler, Van Helsing, Hera and Zeus On The 75th Anniversary of Hitler’s Death

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was being interviewed by an independent radio station in Great Falls, Montana.

“So, what do you think of New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio attacking New York’s Hasidic Jewish community in one of his tweets because so many people attended a rabbi’s funeral in Brooklyn?” The interviewer asked.

“Antisemitism can now be added to Bill de Blasio’s long list of inherent stupidities,” Renfield answered.

“Turning towards economics here in America, as millions of Americans are now losing their jobs as a result of the Coronavirus lockdown, the ultra-wealthy elite such as Amazon’s Jeff Bezos, Microsoft founder Bill Gates and Berkshire Hathaway’s Warren Buffett have made an extra $282 billion in just 23 days of the pandemic, what’s your comment on that?” Asked the Great Falls radio journalist.

“In any shitty situation, the super rich always seem to come up smelling like a rose while the rest of us find our bones and blood and tears and sweat mixed in with the rest of the huge amounts of fertilizer dumped on all the middle and lower strata of society,” Renfield replied.

“Is there a way out of this pandemic and what does the post pandemic world hold for us?” The journalist inquired.

“Well Doris Day sang the answer to that question a lot better than I ever could in her song Que Sera, Sera,” said Renfield, “but I will say this, if you honestly believe that a perfect world can be achieved by the likes of Bill Gates, Pope Francis, the Chinese Communist Party, John Kerry, Greta Thunberg, Michael Moore and the whole Transgender movement, you’re crazy.”

. . .

It was 75 years ago today that Nazi Germany’s Fuhrer Adolf Hitler committed suicide only hours after he married his mistress Eva Braun.

What numerous assassination attempts over the years failed to accomplish, marriage succeeded in doing in a few hours.

. . .

“Shit,” Herr Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau said upon hearing the news that Der Fuhrer was dead.

“What is it?” His assistant asked.

“Ironically, with my twisted sense of humour, I had hid the secret formula for Vril energy in a room in the British Museum in London,” Kohler’s tears fell into his sauerkraut, “And now that we’ve lost the war, the Allies may find it.”

. . .

The Greek goddess Hera was standing in a room in the British Museum listening to a jazz rehearsal.

It had come to her attention that two time travellers – Herr Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing – would be racing across the corridors of time to be the first to get to this room on this particular date in 1945.

Van Helsing was the first to arrive carrying his Houdini-Pantages-Tesla-Welles-Lamarr magic lantern film projector which allowed him to time travel.

“Glad to see you’re the first to arrive, Van Helsing,” Hera smiled at him, “Care to make out?”.

As Van Helsing was busy making out with the Greek goddess Hera, a blue eyed white wolf belonging to the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka carried the secret formula for Vril energy back across time before the SS’ Herr Franz Kohler arrived on the scene.

Meanwhile in a London hotel dining room, the Greek god Zeus was enjoying a feast fit for a king when the ghost of William Shakespeare came up to him and whispered in his ear, “Thou has just been cuckholded.”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday April 30th 
2020.

12 Comments

  1. George F. said,

    “It was 75 years ago today that Nazi Germany’s Fuhrer Adolf Hitler committed suicide only hours after he married his mistress Eva Braun.” The single most hilarious and brilliant comment on Hitler and Marriage ever witnessed!!! OMG!!

  2. George F. said,

    What numerous assassination attempts over the years failed to accomplish, marriage succeeded in doing in a few hours. …O…M…HILARIOUS F G!

  3. George F. said,

    I gotta put that on my timeline…I’ll credit you if I do…Still laughing…

  4. George F. said,

    Okay, I quoted this on my timeline and credited you. If you’d like it removed, just say so. Too brilliant!!!

  5. Kritika said,

    Hahaha marriage did it in few hours.
    Enjoyed reading the chapter.

  6. America On Coffee said,

    Very interesting! ☕️☕️💕☕️☕️

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