Testing, Testing…
Testing, Testing…
Amadeus Emanon and British MP Renfield R. Renfield were having a conversation via Skype.
“What do you think of this new national security law that the Chinese Communist Party National People’s Congress has just passed for Hong Kong?” Amadeus asked his friend Renfield.
“It means the death of autonomy for Hong Kong and the end of the “one country, 2 systems idea”,” Renfield replied, “What freedoms Hong Kong previously held will now be crushed under Xi Jinping’s heels. No doubt Democratic Party politicians in the U.S. are busy taking notes. Their appropriately named House of Representatives bill H.R. 6666 that will allow for the establishment of so-called “entities” to do Covid-19 testing, tracking and contact tracing including entering people’s residences for that purpose no doubt is making the ghosts of Hitler’s old Gestapo and Stalin’s Soviet surveillance agencies green with envy.”
“What’s happening in Europe?” Amadeus inquired.
“Measures vary from country to country,” Renfield answered, “You have to wear masks in public in Germany, France is slowly re-opening its economy and Italy is doing the same.”
“How about Canada?” Amadeus poured maple syrup on his pancakes.
“Well Justin Trudeau, like the U.S. Dems, is wanting to establish a national testing, tracking and contact tracing service in the country,” Renfield sipped a brandy, “Laventriy Beria would feel quite at home in North America today.”
. . .
Dashwood Forrest owner of the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London was bothered by the fact that in his 1860 Basil Hallward oil paintings of Dorian Gray and Dorian Gray’s teddy bear that he kept behind purple velvet curtains in a room in the gallery marked PRIVATE, both Dorian Gray and his teddy bear were now wearing face masks in the picture.
“Why are they wearing face masks in the picture?” Forrest asked.
“Have they tested positive for Covid-19?” Suggested Forrest’s living dead Irish manservant Mulligan the Irish zombie as one of his arms and his head fell off.
Earlier in the day, Mulligan the Irish zombie had borrowed Dashwood Forrest’s 1909 Thomas Flyabout antique motor car to go to a Covid-19 testing drive through facility.
Mulligan’s arrival had sent Covid-19 testers screaming out into the streets.
A piece of foreskin that Mulligan had left behind (he had decided to attend the drive through in the all together like his Australian hero Uncle Ernie had at a Sydney Covid testing drive through a week earlier) tested positive for Covid-19.
As a result, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was now reading a confidential report that hypothesized that a second wave of the Covid-19 virus might include a possible zombie apocalypse.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 22nd
2020.
Dracul Van Helsing 
Kritika said,
May 22, 2020 at 11:25 pm
Covid 19 testers screaming. Lols.
Uncle Ernie too. 😦 Hope he gets well sooner.
The zombie part is cool. World War Z. 😀
Dracul Van Helsing said,
May 23, 2020 at 12:02 am
Yes, World War Z and Uncle Ernie too. 😃
David Redpath said,
May 30, 2020 at 4:05 am
That’s an interesting coincidence,
Chris. Uncle Ernie’s foreskin has
just tested positive for the Spanish
flu. And all these years he though it
was repetitive strain injury!?
Dracul Van Helsing said,
May 30, 2020 at 5:08 pm
It’s a good thing Uncle Ernie became a born-again Ashkenazi when he did.
Hopefully that brisk circumcision performing rabbi who did the ceremony was wearing a mask. 😷🔪
David Redpath said,
May 30, 2020 at 6:38 pm
Yes, a minor detail
with major repercussions.
Uncle Ernie spent months
in hospital after that small incision.
Every time the nurse gave him a
bed bath, he popped his stitches.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
May 30, 2020 at 6:58 pm
Did Uncle Ernie ever take a photo of that nurse?
Maybe if you post a pic of her on your blog, we’ll all be popping our stitches.🎯