The Elk From CERN On His Dark Throne

June 3, 2020 at 10:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Elk From CERN On His Dark Throne

Bill Gates was sitting on the couch blubbering away like a baby when his wife Melinda walked in.

“Bill, what’s wrong?” Melinda asked her husband as she poured herself a glass of champagne and opened up a tin of caviar.

“British MP Renfield R. Renfield said in a TV interview last night that I wasn’t cool enough to be the Antichrist,” Tears came down Gates’ cheeks like Niagara Falls, “He said that I was too bland and boring. And after all those billions I’ve spent trying to develop a vaccine that will be able to physically trace and track people – a digital identity card much like the Mark of the Beast system prophesied in the Book of Revelation Chapter 13. And then Renfield tells people that I’m not cool enough to be the Antichrist.”

“Well dear,” Melinda checked her text messages on her smart phone for half an hour and then went over and kissed him, “If it’s any consolation, I think you’re cool enough to be the Antichrist.”

“But Renfield said I wasn’t,” Bill Gates continued to blubber like a whale who was full of it, “And if Renfield said I was cool enough to be the Antichrist, then I really would be.”

“What about my opinion?” Melinda was furious, “Are you saying it’s only worth chopped liver?”.

“Speaking of chopped liver,” Gates started to wipe his glasses with a handkerchief, “Did you remember to pick up some Whiskas for the cat?”.

“You!” Melinda stormed off to the bedroom and slammed the door.

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was reading a report on his desk.

Apparently according to the report, the demons Baal and Baphomet had gone to the home of Dr. Anders Tegnell (who was Sweden’s chief epidemiologist) last night and had threatened him.

Dr. Tegnell was the man responsible for Sweden’s controversial decision not to impose a strict lockdown that the rest of the world had done along Stalinist-Maoist lines.

Dr. Tegnell had predicted a couple of months ago that the London models (developed by a research team in London England) showing the number of deaths that would occur due to Covid-19 were far too high a projection.

The epidemiologist said at the time that the number of deaths in Sweden due to Covid-19 would be around 4,000 the same number that usually occurs in the case of a normal flu season and there was no need to move to a total lockdown for the country.

Indeed the number of deaths for Sweden turned out to be 4,542 at this time (quite close to the number Dr. Anders Tegnell had originally predicted a couple of months ago).

While the London models (which the rest of the world’s medical experts had blindly accepted and followed) had far overestimated the number of deaths.

Dr. Anders Tegnell’s moderate approach had fitted in with the numbers he originally projected.

And yet today at a press conference, Dr. Anders Tegnell said that there were far too many deaths in the country.

Had Baal and Baphomet pressured him to attack his own approach?

. . .

Dr. Marmalade Montague (the former Paris baker who now fancied himself the Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze and a time traveler from that Sun King era) had flown to Rome Italy in the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s environmentally friendly dirigible airship.ย 

He had gone down to visit Rome’s catacombs.

And as he was walking in one catacomb just below the Vatican, he was startled to see the demons Baal and Baphomet kneeling before an elk seated on a midnight dark black throne.

-A vampire novel chapterย 
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 3rd


  1. Kritika said,

    Bill Gates crying. I can imagine the whole scene. lols
    Worth chopped liver haha.
    Enjoyed reading it. Though I am curious about Elk.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks, Kritika.

      Glad you enjoyed Bill Gates crying. ๐Ÿ˜‚

      Yes, the image of the elk sort of came to me a couple of days ago.

      And I thought, do I want to run with it?

      And then I thought, yes.

      Then on the local news this past evening, there was a story about a herd of elk wandering through the town of Banff west of Calgary since there are no people going through the town due to lockdown.

      And I thought, wow, that’s interesting.

  2. selina333333333 said,

    you my photo for you thanks

    please reply to my mail at (

  3. Jessica said,

    I love the fact that Renfield made Bill Gates with his comment, I think the scene will stay in my head for a while ๐Ÿ˜‚

  4. David Redpath said,

    I followed the money trail
    That sap laden root of evil
    To the land of Mordor
    And the heights of Mount Doom
    Always in sight
    That all seeing eye
    Of Placebo Town
    Blazing bright
    In a pitch black sky
    As in a shadow of gloom
    There I came across
    In that God forsaken land
    More lost than found
    Princess Eugenia
    The High Priestess of Eugenics
    From distant Eriador
    In appearance
    A comely maiden of grace
    She greeted me
    A humble Ranger of Middle-earth
    With a warm embrace
    That conveyed without speech
    The promise of much more
    Then she declared with glee
    Her destiny to give birth
    To the next master race
    The glory of Gondor to restore
    As foretold by Saruman the White
    The head prognosticator
    And lead wizard of Placebo Town
    She then beseeched me
    To stay with her the night
    As she removed her regal gown
    With a flash of light
    Came the whispered sound
    “Beware this scion from
    the Witch-Realm of Angmar!
    Her plan to spawn
    A royal ruling dynasty
    Will be the ruination of humanity.”
    I knew that voice well
    It was the Elf Queen
    Galadriel herself
    No sooner than her words
    Of warning were spoken
    The spell
    Of this devious seductress
    was broken
    And I beheld such a pitiful sight
    A twisted soul
    Lusting for unnatural power
    And worldly might
    I tried my best to console her
    Saying . . .
    “The Gates of Hell,
    Bill and Melinda,
    Are way ahead of you
    When it comes to ruling
    And reigning in Mordor.”

    ~ Strider de Red Path

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I’m sure that Strider de Red Path’s words of consolation to the scion from the Witch-Realm of Angmar must have gone over like a lead balloon (which isn’t of course as environmentally friendly as Set’s cannabis oil powered dirigible airship).

      • David Redpath said,

        It seems to have had an effect.
        Young Eugenia is now serving
        as an intern at the White House.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No doubt Bill is feeling extra disappointed that his wife Hillary didn’t win the White House in 2016. ๐Ÿ˜Ÿ

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: