Pan Goatee Slays Uglos To Mark Ring of Fire Solar Eclipse

June 21, 2020 at 10:32 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

“Beautiful women are proof that Heaven exists.”

-Actor Ricardo Montalban

“And ugly women are proof that Hell exists.”

-Satyr global aesthetics and beautification campaigner Pan Goatee

Pan Goatee was very much regretting the fact that today’s Ring of Fire solar eclipse was over Asia and parts of Africa rather than over the western half of North America.

For it would have been better today if darkness fell over western North America on the 1st day of the summer solstice.

The reason being that loads of ugly women in the city where Pan Goatee lived decided to ruin the first day of summer for everyone by walking around in public without wearing paper bags over their heads.

The first ugly woman that the genetically created satyr serial killer noticed was one walking out of a physiotherapy clinic at a nearby shopping centre.

“You don’t need physiotherapy, you need plastic surgery,” Pan Goatee remarked as he lopped off the uglo’s head with his astral laser machete.

The next uglo he came across was some facially aesthetically challenged creature who was sitting on a chair in front of a barber shop.

“These poor guys have only recently opened up after 3 months of lockdown,” Pan Goatee pointed out as he lopped off this uglo’s head, “I don’t think they appreciate an ugly looking thing parked in front frightening off all the customers.”

Dostoevsky once wrote that beauty could save the world.

No wonder the western world was on the brink of a widespread Neo-Marxist insurrection with all these uglos walking about, Goatee politically philosophized.

On his way back home, Goatee passed a fat ugly blimp sitting at a bus stop.

“Why aren’t you busy tearing down statues with all the other uglos and their brainless boyfriends with incredibly bad taste in politics, economics, culture and women?” Goatee asked rhetorically aloud as he lopped off the blimp’s head.

. . .

Pope Francis the Vicar of Cthulhu and Mictlantecuhtli was sitting at his office in the Vatican when the phone rang.

“Hello, Comrade Jorge here,” Francis spoke into the receiver.

“Hello, this is the AntiOdysseus,” said the voice at the other end.

“The AntiOdysseus?” Pope Francis was quizzical.

“Yes,” answered the exasperated voice at the other end, “If there’s an Odysseus, there’s got to be an AntiOdysseus.”

“I suppose,” Francis chewed on his pencil.

“Listen, me and the boys here have just finished building a huge giant wooden statue of the Baphomet on wheels at an Italian government lodge outside Rome and we’d like to bring it down to Rome and wheel it within the walls of the Vatican,” the AntiOdysseus explained, “Is that all right?”.

“I guess that’s all right,” Francis checked his day and night planner, “If Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI was here, he’d probably object to a huge giant wooden statue of the Baphomet being wheeled into the Vatican. But he’s currently in Regensburg in Bavaria.”

. . .

“Both Nazism and Communism are the bastard children of Freemasonry.
With last night’s tearing down of the statue of the white supremacist, Aryan race promoting, swastika worshipping and Ku Klux Klan co-founding Scottish Rite Freemasonic Confederate General Albert Pike in Washington DC, it is now obvious which bastard child of Freemasonry is on the ascendant in America.
It is Communism the bastard child of French Grand Orient Lodge Freemasonry and Adam Weishaupt’s Bavarian Illuminati.”

-Renfield R. Renfield MP

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 21st
2020.

6 Comments

  1. George F. said,

    Montalban was getting a lot too, so I’m sure he was in heaven most of the time. Unlike the rest of us.

  2. Kritika said,

    “You don’t need physiotherapy, you need plastic surgery” hahaha

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