Fire At Nantes

July 19, 2020 at 10:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

London private eye Agathor Christie (a former British Conservative MP) had been hired by the Kraken Napoleon VI the leader of the Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party to determine if yesterday’s fire at the Cathedral of Saint-Pierre-et-Saint-Paul in Nantes was deliberately set.

“What are you doing hiring an English private eye to investigate this?” The Kraken’s wife Medusa (the ex-Gorgon) asked him, “Don’t you think that French police authorities will be able to get to the bottom of the matter?”.

The Kraken (who had spent the weekend binge watching Peter Sellers Inspector Clouseau Pink Panther movies) answered in the negative.

Christie (who was the great-nephew by marriage of the famous mystery writer Agatha Christie) spent some time researching the background of Nantes Cathedral.

Construction began on the cathedral in 1434 and took 457 years to complete finally being finished in 1891.

Christie found out from talking to Sherrielock Holmes (the quite literally immortal London dominatrix who was the lesser known twin sister of world famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes) that her brother had attended the official dedication of the cathedral upon its completion in 1891.

When he returned to London from Paris, Sherlock had told Sherrielock that while in the cathedral he had run into his imaginary talking bear friend Doctor Clawson whom he had not seen in 21 years.

The last time Sherlock had seen Doctor Clawson was when the young Sherlock had lost his virginity at age 16 years in the Scottish Highlands valley of Glencoe.

Sherrielock thought her brother had once again been resorting to the seven per cent solution of cocaine.

As Agathor Christie helped himself to a bag of Mr. Christie Cookies (a popular Canadian brand of cookies), he decided to rent the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s dirigible airship and fly over to Nantes France that way rather than visiting an airport in these virus prone times.

. . .

Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher had received a mysterious email telling him that the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone (a basilisk that he had genetically created) who had been slain in the Libyan desert and later cooked in Chef Gordon Ramsey’s Hell’s Kitchen in London had been raised from the dead by Set’s nephew Horus who used an ancient Egyptian spell to accomplish the feat.

. . .

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora was shocked when she heard the news that there had been a fire caused by possible arson at the Cathedral of Saint-Pierre-et-Saint-Paul in Nantes.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 19th
2020.

30 Comments

  1. George F. said,

    I’ll do a 7% solution with Theodora any night of the week!

  2. Kritika said,

    Canadian cookies carrying Uncle Ernies love for sure. πŸ˜€

  3. Sabiscuit said,

    Dracul, how else am I supposed to keep up with the news? Without your blog I would not have a clue. I think we are due an alien invasion. And when that happens, I will check your blog to find out which language app to download so I can commune-ti-tate. Hopefully, their ship won’t disable my Wi-Fi. That would really suck.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, an ET invasion that disables Wi-Fi would really be a hostile act on their part.

      Tantamount to a declaration of war!

      I notice Kanye West (who says he’s running for President) says that there are ET aliens currently walking among the American populace.

      At one time, I’d take such a pronouncement with a grain of salt.

      But in this year of 2020, anything’s possible I’ve discovered.

      We’ve got Nancy Pelosi making an incoherent announcement (although of course does she really make anything else?) saying that “Evil stormtroopers are grabbing Portland protestors off the streets.”

      This is a year where the Force (Farce) is with us for the Force and the Farce are one and the same.

      Something that Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and George Lucas were never able to discover.

      Although Mel Brooks and John Candy did.

      • Sabiscuit said,

        They better stay off my Wi-Fi because I’m going to watch the whole thing live on YouTube. Heaven forbid they should land in the UK, some nosy Parker would call the cops and report them for not wearing masks, then they’d get a fine for €100. I feel like if that government is telling people literally don’t meet with your mate, or break up if you don’t live together, it’s no wonder people are babbling nonsense at podiums. And yes, I would like a ride off the planet yesterday.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I just read a French news report (in French) minutes ago that Russian state television have been running programming for the past 24 hours claiming that Bill Gates is responsible for unleashing the Covid-19 virus on the world.

        Putin either knows something that the rest of the world doesn’t or he’s starting to unleash one Hell of a major disinformation campaign.

        Either way, this is going to cause most U.S. Democratic Party politicians to become even more mentally unhinged than they already are since there are two things that drive them even further down the rabbit hole of increasing insanity – Russia and Donald Trump.

      • Sabiscuit said,

        I am sure the Russian people are intelligent enough to tell that they are being brainwashed. It is a different culture, and I am sure (or rather, hope) they don’t take it seriously at all.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, hopefully they’re not like people in the western world who have no trouble whatsoever being brainwashed.

      • Sabiscuit said,

        No trouble at all. πŸ˜‚β€οΈπŸ§‘

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Josef Goebbels was born 100 years too soon.

        What he’d have been able to do if he had social media at his fingertips.

      • Sabiscuit said,

        And yet, the really big PR companies use his work as their handbook. So he is still doing a lot of damage from beyond the grave. Academic research is actually found it on all of the psychological theories that were used to force people to believe things that are not true. They are taught to a greater or lesser extent at elite colleges. They have lots of fancy names for the courses but it’s all the same thing. How to influence others to act against their best interests.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The Americans did manage to grab the brightest minds of Nazi science, technology and psychiatry in Operation Paperclip.

        And inadvertently turned themselves into a Fourth Reich.

      • Sabiscuit said,

        Please… they’re hacks. Cannot become a you know what if they have scrambled eggs for brains. I mean comedians are given anchor positions for network news shows. YouTubers have a higher standard these days. They do their research and they show their work.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Who are hacks? The Nazis or the Yanks?

      • Sabiscuit said,

        Les yankees, bien sΓ»r.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Stephen Colbert is a poor man’s Josef Goebbels.

        Propaganda with a badly performed schlitcht.

      • Sabiscuit said,

        πŸ˜‚πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ§šπŸ½πŸ˜† Wow. I can’t wait to use that line on someone. ❀️

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        πŸ˜‚πŸ™πŸ»

      • Sabiscuit said,

        Turns out: They were here all along and the quarantine was the perfect chance for someone to get their dirty hands on their stuff. Also, in better news, they did not disable my Wi-Fi.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks.

        I’ll check out the video later after I finish recharging my tablet.

  4. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    Wah, for the first time, even after reading this post three times, I’m still speechless… wonder why πŸ€”

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Was it the arson fire at Nantes, Agathor Christie, the Kraken binge watching Pink Panther movies, dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes running into his imaginary bear friend Doctor Clawson at Nantes Cathedral, Horus resurrecting the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone or the hot looking outfit that the Byzantine vampiress Theodora was wearing that left you speechless? πŸ€”

      Or a combination of all of the above?πŸ€”

      • Jessica E. Larsen said,

        Haha I love her dress 😍
        Um no… I’m actually overthinking what’s the news vs which is fiction in this episode haha

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The only real news story is the arson fire at Nantes Cathedral.

        The rest is all fiction. ✍🏻

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