Renfield Discusses Commie Bitch Kim Gardner

July 21, 2020 at 10:41 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , )

There was once a sportscaster in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada named Bryan Hall who did an open-line call in sports talk radio show for CJCA in that city.

Hall would occasionally get annoying long distance phone calls from annoying sports fans in Calgary (of course most sports fans in Calgary are annoying).

But Hall had a unique way of handling them.

When a Calgary Flames hockey fan would phone in to boast how the Calgary Flames NHL hockey team was so much superior to the Edmonton Oilers NHL hockey team, Hall would answer, “Well, I’m not going to talk about the fact that the Edmonton Oilers have won 5 Stanley Cups while the Calgary Flames have only won one. No, I’m not going to mention that.”

When a Calgary Stampeders football fan would phone in to boast how the Calgary Stampeders CFL team was so much superior to the Edmonton Eskimos CFL team, Hall would say, “Well, I’m not going to talk about the fact that the Edmonton Eskimos won the Grey Cup 3 years in a row back in the 1950s or how they won the Grey Cup 5 years in a row in the late 1970s and early 1980s. No, I’m not going to mention that. I’m not going to talk about the fact that the Calgary Stampeders generally only win the Grey Cup one year in a row and there’s generally a 20-odd year gap between those wins from 1948 to 1971 to 1992. No, I’m not going to mention that.”

Renfield was going to use this Hallsy technique (Hallsy was Bryan Hall’s nickname) in dealing with Kim Gardner who was Saint Louis, Missouri’s Neo-Bolshevik first circuit prosecuting attorney.

“I’m not going to talk about the fact that Kim Gardner like most Democratic Party politicians in the U.S.A. today has a Marxist-Leninist mind set. No, I’m not going to mention that. I’m not going to talk about the fact that Ms. Gardner is abusing her office to bring criminal charges against Saint Louis residents Mark and Patricia McCloskey in what will surely be a Stalinist Moscow kangaroo court show trial. No, I’m not going to mention that. I’m not going to mention the fact that the McCloskeys were defending their property against “peaceful protestors” (to use Ms. Gardner’s words) who had “peacefully ripped” down a community gate that had the words No Trespassing and Private Property on it. Now admittedly most of these young anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans have all received the F mark in Reading while achieving the A mark in courses such as Whining and Snivelling, Believing The World Owes Them A Living, Getting Easily Offended By Everything, Thinking That The Law Does Not Apply To Them Because Democratic Party Politicians Tell Them So etc. etc. I’m not going to talk about the fact that what Commie Democrats such as Kim Gardner consider “peaceful protests” (rioting, looting, arson and vandalism as has been happening in the cities of Saint Louis, Chicago, Portland Oregon and Seattle) is a little different from what people who actually have brains consider “peaceful protests”. No, I’m not going to mention that. I’m not going to talk about the fact that 70% of the money for Kim Gardner’s successful 2016 election campaign for Saint Louis, Missouri First Circuit Attorney was provided by George Soros. No, I’m not going to mention that. I’m not going to end this podcast quoting that old quote, He who pays the piper calls the tune. No, I’m not going to do that.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 21st
2020.

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Renfield Discusses The Gates of Hell, Covid, Communism and McCarrick

July 20, 2020 at 10:46 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Interviewer: Well in this stangely bizarre year that is 2020, Russian state television is now running programs claiming that Bill Gates is responsible for ushering in the Covid-19 virus. Care to comment, Mr. Renfield?

Renfield: Well Putin either knows something that the rest of the world doesn’t or he’s launching one Hell of a disinformation campaign

Interviewer: Well either scenario doesn’t really bode well for the world does it?

Renfield: Indeed not. We do have photos of Bill Gates visiting the Wuhan Institute of Virology on at least one occasion. He have may have visited the Wuhan Institute of Virology more than once. Just like he may have visited Jeffrey Epstein’s Pedo Island more than once.
If Gates did launch this pandemic in the hopes that he can vaccinate everyone with his DNA altering Mark of The Beast vaccine, this won’t be for the better as far as humanity is concerned.
And on the other hand if Russia is launching a full scale disinformation campaign by doing this, the multi trillion ruble question is why? What do they hope to gain by it? Is this disinformation to cover up the pandemic on behalf of one of their allies (let’s call it… Xi Jinping’s People’s Republic of China)?

Interviewer: The world is entering a very dangerous phase at the moment, isn’t it?

Renfield: World War III may be just around the corner.

Interviewer: Will this stop the Neo-Bolshevik revolution and 2nd Civil War that may happen in the United States?

Renfield: Only if World War III happens first.

Interviewer: What do you think of all the stories involving U.S. federal troops and alleged kidnappings of people in Portland, Oregon?

Renfield: Yes, leftists such as Neo-Communist scumbag Beto O’ Rourke and airheaded New York Congresswoman Alexandria Occasional-Cortex seem to be falling for various X-Files style conspiracy theories that they always accuse those on the right of falling for.
These mysterious camouflaged men and unmarked van kidnappings has led to Nancy Pelosi making an incoherent statement (although of course does she really make anything else?) saying that “Evil stormtroopers are grabbing Portland protestors off the street.”
No doubt Sen. Chuck Schumer got his right ear cut off in a laser light saber battle with a Yoda impersonator who was a Vincent Van Gogh wannabe and suffered from an intense “projection complex” in the Carl Jungian sense of that expression.
And Chicago’s Neo-Bolshevik Mayor Lori Lightfoot suddenly changed both her sexual orientation and her species orientation when she was caught banging Chewbacca in the cockpit of the Millenium Falcon.

Interviewer: Moving on to the McCarrick Report- the report prepared for the Vatican on the activities of the recently laicized Cardinal Theodore McCarrick (predatory homosexual Communist abuser of altar boys and young seminarians), I understand the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit recently came into possession of some of its contents?

Renfield (nodding) : That is correct.

Interviewer: Will the Vatican ever release that report in full?

Renfield: Not while Pope Francis is still alive.

Interviewer: What are some of the contents Set Enterprises discovered?

Renfield: That in 1950, the Soviet Union recruited Theodore McCarrick while he was living in the town of St. Gallen, Switzerland and turning him into a Soviet agent, got him to enter seminary and infiltrate the Catholic priesthood.
He turned out to be the Soviets’ ultimate infiltrator into the Catholic Church rising through the ranks to become both an Archbishop and a Cardinal.
The Kremlin set up several offshore accounts for him and loaded it with hundreds of millions of dollars with which McCarrick led a lavish lifestle and recruited hundreds of men of like-minded sexual orientation and like-minded political orientation (neo-Marxist) to ascend to the very top of the American Catholic hierarchy and even the Vatican hierarchy.
McCarrick also negotiated the Vatican-China Agreement by which the Vatican sold out members of the underground Catholic Church in China to control by Xi’s Beijing regime.
Pope Francis (the man that McCarrick’s St. Gallen Mafia propelled into the papal chair in March 2013) now gets billions of dollars from the Chinese Communist government – a good thing for the Vatican since basically the laity have now stopped tithing because of all the perverted goings on by various Catholic clergy and bishops.
A few years ago, Theodore McCarrick boasted to James Grein (the man who as a young altar boy had been sexually groomed and sexually abused by McCarrick) that there was no stopping him (McCarrick) because his friends in Beijing “would be making the ultimate geopolitical move in 2020 and he (McCarrick) and other friends of Beijing would be sitting at the top of the world”.

Interviewer: And what do you think that ultimate geopolitical move to be made in 2020 is?

Renfield: Well, the Covid-19 virus most likely originated in China- as a bioweapon- whether it was accidentally or intentionally released is a mute point now.
But the virus was probably just the opening shot in that ultimate geopolitical move.
And the Vatican, the UN, the WHO and many in the U.S. political and corporate establishments are all tied in with it.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 20th
2020.

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Fire At Nantes

July 19, 2020 at 10:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

London private eye Agathor Christie (a former British Conservative MP) had been hired by the Kraken Napoleon VI the leader of the Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party to determine if yesterday’s fire at the Cathedral of Saint-Pierre-et-Saint-Paul in Nantes was deliberately set.

“What are you doing hiring an English private eye to investigate this?” The Kraken’s wife Medusa (the ex-Gorgon) asked him, “Don’t you think that French police authorities will be able to get to the bottom of the matter?”.

The Kraken (who had spent the weekend binge watching Peter Sellers Inspector Clouseau Pink Panther movies) answered in the negative.

Christie (who was the great-nephew by marriage of the famous mystery writer Agatha Christie) spent some time researching the background of Nantes Cathedral.

Construction began on the cathedral in 1434 and took 457 years to complete finally being finished in 1891.

Christie found out from talking to Sherrielock Holmes (the quite literally immortal London dominatrix who was the lesser known twin sister of world famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes) that her brother had attended the official dedication of the cathedral upon its completion in 1891.

When he returned to London from Paris, Sherlock had told Sherrielock that while in the cathedral he had run into his imaginary talking bear friend Doctor Clawson whom he had not seen in 21 years.

The last time Sherlock had seen Doctor Clawson was when the young Sherlock had lost his virginity at age 16 years in the Scottish Highlands valley of Glencoe.

Sherrielock thought her brother had once again been resorting to the seven per cent solution of cocaine.

As Agathor Christie helped himself to a bag of Mr. Christie Cookies (a popular Canadian brand of cookies), he decided to rent the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s dirigible airship and fly over to Nantes France that way rather than visiting an airport in these virus prone times.

. . .

Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher had received a mysterious email telling him that the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone (a basilisk that he had genetically created) who had been slain in the Libyan desert and later cooked in Chef Gordon Ramsey’s Hell’s Kitchen in London had been raised from the dead by Set’s nephew Horus who used an ancient Egyptian spell to accomplish the feat.

. . .

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora was shocked when she heard the news that there had been a fire caused by possible arson at the Cathedral of Saint-Pierre-et-Saint-Paul in Nantes.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 19th
2020.

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Nantes Cathedral Fire In The Time of The Blessed, Holy and Eternal Virus

July 18, 2020 at 10:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading a dossier about the various fires and explosions that had been happening in Iran the past couple of weeks.

Missile factories, nuclear facilities, power plants and industrial factories had all been hit.

A couple of days ago, Yossi Cohen the head of Mossad had all but admitted that Israel was responsible.

Of course most people in the Western world would not know about this because as the astute commentator Frank Walker pointed out, “All you hear about in the news these days is news about the Blessed, Holy and Eternal Virus.”

Frank Walker was being sarcastic when he said this.

But of course it was an accurate description of the current obsession of the modern world.

Back in 1966, TIME Magazine had a famous cover story that posed the question IS GOD DEAD?

Of course the way the late 1960s and the subsequent decade of the 1970s evolved, God was indeed dead.

At least as far as the western world was concerned.

Other things concerned the world the next few decades.

Sex, movies, a war here, a war there, an ethnic cleansing here, an ethnic cleansing there, a wall coming down, a wall being built, the Internet, Pokemon, various world leaders coming and going.

And finally after years of various parts of the world being obsessed by different things, the world was finally coming together as one in one common obsession- the Blessed, Holy and Eternal Virus.

Who knew with the emergence of the New Age Movement in the early 1980s that the New Age Maitreya Messianic figure would turn out to be a virus?

Could John Lennon have possibly Imagined it?

“Imagine all the people… wearing face masks…”

Imagine Dr. Anthony Fauci emerging as the Prophet of the New Age.

Sir James George Frazer would have positively sawed the Golden Bough underneath himself sending himself plunging to his death as he saw his anthropological theory of evolution moving from magic to religion to science all blown to shreds as people bowed and covered themselves in obeisance to the Blessed, Holy and Eternal Virus and Dr. Anthony Fauci is its prophet.

There was a 7.0 earthquake that rattled Papua New Guinea yesterday and a tsunami warning issued.

But one wouldn’t know that, Renfield reflected, because the news media across the world spent their newscasts yapping about the Blessed, Holy and Eternal Virus.

“Experts” would come on yapping about the Blessed, Holy and Eternal Virus.

One “expert” would be followed by another “expert” that would totally contradict what the previous expert had just said.

And then were “experts” who totally contradicted what they themselves had said just the week before.

Bloggers wrote blog posts telling us that our governments, leaders and “experts” only want what’s best for us.

I wonder what variety of crack they’ve been smoking, Renfield thought to himself.

Senility prone Joe Biden had released an Independence Day message that had basically been plagiarized from Karl Marx’s 1848 Communist Manifesto with some of the philosophy to be found in the writings of Aleister Crowley thrown in for good measure.

The New York Times, The Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC, NBC, ABC and CBS didn’t note that, Renfield reflected, because Marxism and Crowleyism was probably right up or maybe left up their alleys anyways.

And they could instead promote mantras to the Blessed, Holy and Eternal Virus (Mantras such as “Stay Home, Stay Safe” and “We’re All In This Together” – the latter mantra also being true of a bunch of frogs in the same pot of slowly heat accelerating and slowly boiling water).

The Cathedral of Saint Peter et Saint Paul in Nantes, France burning on fire as a result of arson today not mentioned in most of the western news media.

Again because of 24/7 news coverage of the Blessed, Holy and Eternal Virus.

With the latest long winded exposition of the Blessed, Holy and Eternal Virus’ Secrets and Mysteries being explained and expostulated by the members of the Priesthood of “Experts” appearing on the show.

One thing about appearing on TV wearing a face mask, Renfield thought, nobody will be able to judge from your facial expression that you don’t know what the Hell you’re talking about.

Nantes Cathedral burns?

Christ is so yesterday (Definitely not today and forever).

Only the Blessed, Holy and Eternal Virus is forever.

When World War III happens, no one will know
because it’s all the Blessed, Holy and Eternal Virus show.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 18th
2020.

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Young Sherlock Meets The Maiden of Glencoe

July 17, 2020 at 10:52 pm (Culture, Entertainment, History, Literature, Poetry, Romance) (, , , , , )


The Maiden of Glencoe

It was the summer of 1870
Otto von Bismarck was up to no good
as far as the French were concerned
On July 15th the French Army mobilized
The North German Confederation
responded with its own mobilization
later that same day.
A day later July 16th
The French Parliament
voted to declare
war on Prussia.
Due to lengthy wine and cheese breaks
among French postal service employees
and lengthy beer and Wiener Schnitzel breaks
among German postal service employees
The declaration of war didn’t reach Berlin
until 3 days later
July 19th 1870
when the war officially began.

But that was a couple of days away
For this was July 17th 1870
and young Sherlock Holmes
wasn’t all that concerned
with Europe’s geopolitical problems anyways
as he strode through the highlands of Scotland

He was walking through the valley of Glencoe
site of the infamous massacre of Glencoe
that took place on February 13th 1692
in which 30 members of the Clan MacDonald of Glencoe
were brutally murdered by members of the Campbell family

Sherlock had a sturdy staff in hand
as he walked
and talked to his imaginary friend
a talking bear
that he called Doctor Clawson

“Well, Clawson,” young Sherlock lit his imaginary pipe,
“This is the site of the Glencoe Massacre.
What do you make of it?”.
“Where’s all the blood, Holmes?”
Clawson asked
as he took in the spellbinding scenery.

“You’ve glanced through my history textbooks but obviously never read them,”
Holmes deduced as he blew imaginary smoke ,
“The Glencoe Massacre happened almost 200 years ago.
The blood has probably long dried up since then.”

“Well then if I was a vampire, I’d be shit out of luck,”
the colourful talking bear with the rather colourful vocabulary
remarked.

“Up among the heather…” young Sherlock started dancing like a young English public school boy dandy
as the imaginary bear Clawson covered his eyes in shock and horror
He had obviously put too much fruit helpings on his porridge this morning, Clawson deduced about young Sherlock

Sherlock stopped dancing like a dandy
when he went up over the hill
and came upon this vision below him

The Maiden of Glencoe

Young Sherlock let go of the wooden staff in his hand
and dropped his imaginary pipe
spilling non-existent ash over the heather
when he saw the maiden.

“Heavens above!” Young Sherlock gasped.

Their conversation began with a tete a tete
moved to a fete a fete
and climaxed with a pet a pet

Doctor Clawson looked on in horror
The fact that young Sherlock
would someday lose his virginity
was something the talking bear
had never deduced would happen
in his wildest dreams.

And it was after this
that Doctor Clawson the imaginary talking bear
wound up abandoned on the shelf of toys
where he would be joined by Little Jackie Piper’s friend
Puff the Magic Dragon
90 or so years later.

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday July 17th 2020.

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Dulcinea Lucia

July 16, 2020 at 10:35 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )


The Gypsy seer Dulcinea Lucia

The Gypsy seer and psychic medium Dulcinea Lucia had left London for some of the greenery of Lincolnshire.

She was tired of a city full of people walking the streets in masks.

It was like a dystopian science-fiction novel.

Or a world where Poe’s Masque of The Red Death had spread beyond the ballroom of a castle to a large urban environment.

She felt more relaxed here in some of the green valleys and hills of Lincolnshire.

Here she didn’t have to socially distance herself because there was no one around.

The world had gone insane.

A virus seemed to have the ability to mutate itself and undergo so many different variations in such a short period of time.

And nobody seemed to find that strange.

The people who were dying the most were elderly people in nursing homes- the places that were undergoing the most stringent lockdowns.

And yet lockdowns were not saving them.

Depression, anxiety, suicides, domestic abuse on the up and up all over the world.

At least the virus could safely sing that 1970 Lynn Anderson song I Never Promised You A Rose Garden.

For indeed it hadn’t.

Here in the beautiful scenery of rural Lincolnshire, she felt safe.

Talk of the “old normal” and the “new normal” were not to be found around here.

Just a mother duck and ducklings floating tranquilly down a nearby stream.

And wild flowers blowing gently in the soft summer breeze.

As Dulcinea Lucia walked among the grasses, she wondered if she should ever return to London again.

Maybe the real virus was civilization itself.

A civilization that had long ceased to be civilized.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 16th
2020.

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Xi, Justin, Renfield and That Damned Dam

July 15, 2020 at 10:40 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading a Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit report on what was currently happening in the People’s Republic of China.

It appeared that the Xi Jinping regime in Beijing was deliberately releasing floodwater from the spillway on the Three Gorges Dam to flood the city of Wuhan and a few other cities.

There was of course heavy rainfall that was going on in the region and the Xi regime would naturally blame the flooding and subsequent deaths on the weather.

But it would appear that the majority of the flooding was in fact being caused by the deliberate releasing of floodwater on the dam’s spillway.

“What the Hell is Xi Jinping doing?” Renfield asked Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster who was in a nearby lobster tank.

Michelangelo shrugged his lobster claws.

He had been trying to psychically probe Xi Jinping’s evil genius mind but his efforts were being blocked by the sinister looking face of an evil Black Dragon spirit entity.

On the television set in the room that both MP and lobster were in, Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on the screen said that he did not think that the Two Michaels (Two Canadians Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor who were arrested and detained in China in December 2018 shortly after Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou was arrested at Vancouver International Airport by Canadian authorities at the request of the U.S. State Department) were in any grave danger as he sat and twiddled his thumbs while Canada’s slow moving justice system heard the extradition case involving Meng which would probably involve years of appeals and eventually wind up in the Supreme Court of Canada while the Two Michaels would spend their time enjoying the hospitality to be found in a Communist Chinese prison.

Justin had spent much of his first term in office as Prime Minister interfering with Canada’s judicial system in an effort to save a corrupt Quebec construction firm from criminal prosecution.

Now the inept failed former High School Drama teacher (best known for putting on blackface) said, “It is unCanadian to interfere with the independence of our judicial system. So I will not trade Meng for the two Michaels.”

“Idiot,” Renfield thought and then the news showed a brief news story and film footage about an entire Chinese family being swept way in the floods that hit their city.

Like Stalin’s enforced famine on Ukrainian farmers in the years 1932-33, the floods hitting China in this early summer of 2020 was a man-made phenomenon (caused by deliberately releasing floodwater on the Three Gorges dam’s spillway).

Xi’s ass was being helped by heavy natural rainfall in the region and so the world wouldn’t raise a heap of protect.

Because, Renfield noted, the world was being distracted by the bioweapon virus that had accidentally been released by the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

That is, Renfield thought, if it was an accident.

With a homicidal maniac like Xi on the world stage, one could never be sure.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 15th
2020.

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A Tale of Two Communion Services

July 14, 2020 at 10:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )


Saint Kateri Tekakwitha whose feast day it is today.

On the Lakota Sioux First Nation in South Dakota, a rare breed of Jesuit priest (one who actually believes the first 2000 years of Catholic Christian doctrine as it was taught prior to the advent of Pope Francis) was holding a communion service to mark the feast day of Saint Kateri Tekakwitha an Algonquin-Mohawk woman.

Meanwhile as he slept in his bed at night, former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean (who had a mental breakdown in 2004 the night he lost the New Hampshire state primary) was having a dream (or was it a dream?) where he was receiving a Consecrated Communion wafer that had been defiled in a satanic Black Mass.

The wafer was handed him by the demon Baphomet.

Dean made an Upside Down Mark of the Cross after receiving it.

This past weekend Dean attacked the American Jewish Committee for hiring a Christian.

Dean said Christians only have a reputation for hate.

He made this remark in a weekend that saw a man drive his van into a Catholic Church in Florida as parishioners sat for early morning Mass and then take out two cans of gasoline from his van and set fire to the Church.

A suspicious fire started at the San Gabriel Mission Church in California this past weekend.

In Boston, a statue of the Virgin Mary was spray painted with grafitti outside a Catholic Church.

In New York City, a statue of the Virgin Mary had gasoline poured on it and set alight outside a Catholic elementary school.

In Chattanooga, Tennessee, a statue of the Virgin Mary was decapitated.

Dean had a dream (or was it a dream?) where he mentioned to Baphomet, “Aren’t anarcho-Marxists and Neo-Bolsheviks so kind and loving?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 14th
2020.

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Hi’ iaka’s Dance and Song: Dutchman On The Rocks

July 13, 2020 at 10:40 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“The time seems to be growing short!”
Poseidon said to his brother Hades
as he noticed sands through the centuries’ long hourglass
starting to run out.
“I wonder if I should send the sirens close to that ship
to beckon the Dutchman towards his final Stygian port!”
Poseidon stroked his beard and twiddled his trident.

“The sirens have long surpassed their quota of bringing ships in
towards their final Stygian ports,” Hades put on his spectacles
to browse the latest accounting report and statement
put together by his own personal infernal accountant,
“That Dutchman is a braggart and a fool.
He’ll offend somebody and when the final dice is rolled,
They whoever they may be will summon the Dutchman towards his final Stygian port.”

Captain Hendrick Van Der Decken
stood at the wheel of the Flying Dutchman
It had been a long time
since that fatal year of 1641
when he had blasphemed Christ
and thrown his Crucifix into the sea
after having sold his soul to the Devil
in the waters of the Cape of Good Hope
off South Africa

Hendrick had long since given up on the idea
of ever making landfall again
To sail ocean waters until Doomsday
he had accepted as his fate

An albatross with an arrow stuck in its feathered breast
landed on the ship’s wheel
and squawked like a parrot,
“You’re never going to make landfall until the Apocalypse,
You’re never going to make landfall until the Apocalypse!”.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Captain Van Der Decken grimaced.

“All right, the square root of pi is… oh, my God, I’ve forgotten!
The square root of pi is… oh, my God I’ve forgotten!”.
And with that the albatross spread its wings
and flew off
Presumably in search of an electronic calculator
or one positively mesmerizing abacus.

“Thanks for nothing!” Van Der Decken spit into the wind
And the wind returned the favour.
A huge splash of wave wiped off the spit.

The Captain followed a star in the heavens
Unbeknownst to him, the star was the comet NEOWISE
haunting the early morning sky in various parts of the world

His ship came within sight of Hawaii
And there on the rocks off shore
danced Hi’iaka the Hawaiian goddess of dance
She danced the hula and sang a sweet lovely song

Hendrick felt a stirring in his loins
Something he hadn’t experienced in centuries
and he steered the ship’s wheel in the direction of the song
and the sight of the heavenly vision

Hi’iaka’s elder sister Pele the goddess of volcanoes and fire
was offended by the Captain’s look of lust
and blew her top

Lava and molten rock
struck the ship Flying Dutchman
and broke it apart
The ship’s wheel and the Captain
landed on the rock
On which Hi’iaka danced the hula

As Hi’iaka danced,
she smiled
and wagged her finger
at the Captain
and said,
“No lei for you.”

And with that Captain Hendrick Van Der Decken
fell back below the surface of the waves
there to be ferried across the River Styx
and growled at on the shore
by the 3-headed dog Cerberus.

-A supernatural narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 13th
2020.

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The Fire and The Manuscript

July 12, 2020 at 10:51 pm (Ghost Story, Mystery, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

He had bought an old typewriter from the 1940s in an old antique store.

He placed it down at a desk he no longer used.

His main desk had a PC at it.

His dinner table had a laptop located in front of the chair that neither he nor any of his potential guests ever sat at during meals.

A tablet was by his arm chair in front of the TV.

And of course his smart phone was in his pants pocket ready for his beck and call.

As he went to bed that night, he thought he had heard the sound of typing.

But he ignored it.

Everytime he woke up, he thought he heard the sound of typing.

But again ignored it.

When he woke up the next morning, he was shocked to discover a manuscript for a screen play alongside the old typewriter.

It looked to be freshly typed.

. . .

The ghost of Orson Welles sat in an armchair in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion.

He was watching television while Set’s butler and valet Athelstan dusted the furniture.

The BBC was reporting on a fire that had devastated the San Gabriel Mission Church in California founded by Saint Junipero Serra.

“Horrific,” Athelstan commented as he looked at the screen.

“Very,” Welles’ ghost agreed.

“You have a far away look in your eyes, Mr. Welles,” Athelstan noted.

“I once met Ernest Hemingway,” Welles recounted, “And he told me that he had written a screenplay of all things. He wanted me to see it. The screenplay was for a supernatural thriller in which demons would be walking the earth in a time of plague and pestilence. He didn’t tell me too much about his script. But he did mention one scene where the San Gabriel Mission Church is destroyed by fire. Ironically enough, the manuscript for that screenplay was destroyed by fire. Hemingway never did try to rewrite it.”

. . .

The owner of the antique typewriter looked at the title page of the manuscript.

What first caught his eye were the words “by Ernest Hemingway”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 12th 2020.

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