The Medusa Portrait

August 13, 2020 at 11:18 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, painting, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The Medusa Portrait

Dr. Lionel Jarrett a professor of Classics at the University of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan stood looking at his daughter Eva while London art gallery curator Dashwood Forrest (owner of The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery) stood alongside a portrait painting of the famous Medusa.

The portrait of Medusa had been painted by Oscar Wilde who was much better known for his witty repartee, his plays, his short stories, his poems, his children’s stories and his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray than he was for artistically painting pictures.

It was only recently that Dashwood Forrest in his research and investigations had uncovered that Wilde was an artist (in the painting sense of that term) as well as a writer.

Wilde had apparently painted this picture of Medusa after a wild night of drinking absinthe and trying to write a poem about her.

In his dream that inspired the painting, Wilde had Medusa sit for him while he set up his canvas, palette and paints.

Medusa had returned for this sitting just after her appointment with her gay Spartan hairdresser.

Boasted the hairdresser at her appointment, “I had 299 fellow Spartans at my backside making us a noble band of 300 but I refused to bow the knee to the King of Persia.”

The hairdresser’s bloodcurdling tale had caused serpentlike curls to form at the top of Medusa’s hair which Wilde was able to capture in this sitting.

The serpents of course never did leave Medusa’s hair.

It really was the Hairstyling Appointment From Hell.

When Wilde woke up, he discovered that he had been sleep painting and had painted the portrait to its final finish.

Dr. Lionel Jarrett looking at his daughter Eva said he’d buy the painting for her.

The ghost of Orson Welles (just recently returned from Luxor, Egypt) took a black and white photo of the happy moment.

. . .

A naked Donald Trump was in the shower showering his golden toupee as his son-in-law Jared Kushner sat blindfolded outside the clear screen see-through screen shower cubicle.

“So, Jared,” Trump was using Johnson’s Baby Shampoo, “How did you get Israel and the United Arab Emirates to agree to establish diplomatic relations with one another?”.

“Well, Ivanka asked her friend London art gallery owner Dashwood Forrest to ask his friend the ex-Gorgon Medusa to visit a gay hairdresser in the town of Sparti, Greece (which lies at the site of ancient Sparta) and when she got snakes back in her hair, she was going to visit both Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Abu Dhabi Crown Prince Mohammed Al Nayhan and turn them to stone unless they agreed to establish diplomatic relations with each other.”

“So the answer to establishing peace is to get stoned?” Trump asked Kushner.

Meanwhile down in his basement, Democratic Party presumptive Presidential nominee Joe Biden was talking to his pet pot smoking desert cactus plant whom he had named Sweet Dementia, “Wow, that’s really crazy, man. You mean Kamala is descended from a slave owning family on the island of Jamaica and not descended from slaves? Wow, that really blows my mind. Good thing for me, my mind was blown a long time ago. Fortunately for me, most of the mainstream news media in this country are all disinformation branches of the New World Order Ministry of Propaganda and won’t bother mentioning that. Since Kamala and I are going to bring the Marxist New World Order to America. Now, I think I’ll go take a shower, Sweet Dementia. Care to join me?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 13th


  1. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    Wow, now I’m envious of Oscar Wilde. An artist and a writer is my dream and he painted it drunk! Unfair ๐Ÿ˜„
    There’s are just images I should refuse to enter my head like Trump out of the shower, but then again I feel like it will take a while to unsee it now. ๐Ÿ˜ข
    Sweet Dementia… what a cute name ๐Ÿ˜

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, painting a picture while drunk would be quite the talent.

      There are a lot of people who do do that- they’re called modern abstract artists. ๐Ÿ˜‚

      But painting an excellent picture while drunk like Wilde did in this fictional tale (I have no idea who actually painted the portrait in the photo) would be an awesome talent. ๐Ÿ˜€

      Yes, seeing Trump in the shower is the stuff of nightmares. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

      Glad you enjoyed the name Sweet Dementia. ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Kritika said,

    Joe Biden has named the cactus well. And the last line, “Care to join?” ๐Ÿคฃ Cactus ๐Ÿคฃ Sure should. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, taking a cactus in the shower with him is a trick Joe Biden undoubtedly picked up from Uncle Ernie. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

  3. David Redpath said,

    Thank you very much, Christopher ๐Ÿ™
    Medusa diplomacy is the answer.
    Mutually Assured Stoning.
    Iโ€™ve often wondered what Bob Dylan
    was saying with his immortal words
    … โ€œEverybody must get stoned.โ€

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Mutually Assured Stoning is the diplomatic answer.

      Bob Dylan’s immortal words have been deciphered at last. ๐Ÿค”

  4. The Medusa Portrait – David Redpath said,

    […] The Medusa Portrait […]

  5. carlamilho said,

    Love this one ๐Ÿ‘Œ

  6. sedge808 said,

    so good.

  7. sedge808 said,

    ‘sleep painting’

    Love it.

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