Miracle On The Vistula

August 15, 2020 at 10:53 pm (Education, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Battle of Warsaw (1920) was fought from August 12th 1920 to August 25th 1920 between the Polish National Army and Leon Trotsky’s Soviet Red Army.

Poland was on the verge of defeat in the Polish-Soviet War at the start of the battle.

But somehow the Polish Army under the command of Marshal Josef Pilsudski managed to regroup, repulse and defeat the Red Army in what Russian Bolshevik leader Vladimir Lenin called “an enormous defeat” for his forces.

The politician and diplomat Edgar Vincent regards the 1920 Battle of Warsaw as one of the most important battles in world history on his expanded list of history’s most decisive battles since the Polish victory over the Soviets halted the spread of Communism further westwards into Europe.

Had the Soviets taken Poland, nothing would have stopped their march into Germany (which had a shattered economy and a thorougly routed and demoralized army) and then France (whose army was wartorn and weary from 4 gruelling and bloody years of trench warfare in the First World War).

All of Western Europe would have probably fallen to Communism and then Lenin and Trotsky would have set their eyes across the English Channel towards Britain.

And the only one on the British isles who would have sounded the alarm about imminent danger would have been Winston Churchill while most of Britain’s stodgy old politicians doted along and would have proposed a Royal Commission task force to study the subject.

At the start of the Soviet-Polish War, the Bolshevik Lenin’s speeches asserted that the Bolshevik Revolution would be carried to Western Europe on the bayonets of Russian soldiers and that the shortest route to Berlin and Paris lay through Warsaw.

The battle turned for the Poles when Marshal Pilsudski launched a counteroffensive on Soviet forces from the south of Warsaw moving north and then trapping the Soviet forces in an encirclement.

However some have cited supernatural intervention as the reason for the victory.

Diaries from many present at the battle reported that the Virgin Mary appeared to Polish troops on the banks of the Vistula River on August 15th which is the Feast of the Assumption Into Heaven of the Blessed Virgin Mary and spoke words of encouragement.

August 15th 1920.

100 years ago today.

. . .

Pope Francis was in a video conference call with George Soros, Bill Gates, U-2 singer Bono (who sat at his desk immensely pleased with the very unusual cactus plant he had just received in the mail from Australia) and American economist Jeffrey Sachs to discuss their continuing plans for a Marxist One World Government.

Pope Francis noted, “One hundred years ago today the cause of global Marxism suffered a serious setback. And many other setbacks as well over the years. Today, we’ll finally push the cause of global Marxism forward with the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus helping us.”

“Jesus Christ!” Bono shouted.

“This is a private meeting not a public audience,” Pope Francis admonished as he wagged his finger at the Irish singer via video, “There’s no need to mention that name here.”

“No, a cow just jumped in through my study window and ran off with my cactus plant between her teeth!” Bono exclaimed in a great state of agitation.

“Daisy! Daisy!” Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun briefly appeared on video and ran after the cow as she headed down the road off the Bono estate.

. . .

“Lexington,” Donald Trump was speaking to his British butler and valet, “I was just reading in the Monthly Moon which is the monthly newspaper in the small town of Smallville, Kansas… speaking of which I wonder why Clark Kent who lives in Kansas City, Kansas (shouldn’t that be called Metropolis?) hasn’t answered any of the thousands of emails I’ve sent him hour by hour inviting him to have dinner with me?.”

“I have no idea, sir,” Lexington answered.

“The NSA tells me he’s forwarded a few of them to the Irish-Jewish science-fiction writer George Finneganburg for some reason,” Trump scratched his head and yellow artificial dandruff fell out, “Anyways getting back to the Monthly Moon article, they were quoting British MP Renfield R. Renfield… I wonder why the Monthly Moon and other smaller independent news outlets are the only ones to quote Renfield. None of the big mainstream news media does. Not even Fox News. And Fox News is ostensibly supposed to be anti-Communist unlike the other big news outlets.”

“I have no idea again, sir,” Lexington sighed.

“Anyways, Renfield said in the article, “It’s rather frightening to think that the only person standing in the way of a Communist Neo-Bolshevik takeover of America is a non-altruistic non-empathetic narcissist who fancies himself a 21st Century Caesar and a Neo-Roman Emperor.” Now Lexington,” Trump scratched his head again leading to further golden artificial dandruff falling on the Rubicon Rubik’s Cube on Trump’s desk, “who is he talking about? Do you know any individual who fits that description?”.

“Of course not, sir,” Lexington replied as he helped Trump on with his toga and his laurel leaf crown.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 15th


  1. Sabiscuit said,

    Was planning to visit my spiritual home world Poland, this year. It was to be an adventure. I’d land in Berlin and bus it to Warsaw and figure it out from there. Then, the singularity happened. It’s a sign.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, the Singularity has upset so many plans.

      A very bad sign.

      • Sabiscuit said,

        If this nonsense ends next year summer, I’m on my way there. So you better get ready because we’re going vampire hunting.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Vampire hunting.

        Sounds fun. 😀

      • Sabiscuit said,

        Start lifting weights. I’m going to be eating popcorn while you fight.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Did you read my book The Vampiress With Amnesia?

        There’s a scene where a vampiress and a vampire huntress fight while someone sits watching them while eating popcorn.

      • Sabiscuit said,

        Not yet, but I will get right on that. xo

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


  2. Kritika said,

    A cow jumped and took the cactus plant. lols

    The big medias are all sold. So no scope for the truth to appear on them.

  3. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    Lovely piece. Mixed of laughter especially the cow and cactus, and Trump’s artificial dandruff, why would anyone want that… and mostly annoyed by the reality around us…

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you, Jessica. 🙂

      Glad you enjoyed the cow and cactus and Trump’s artificial dandruff. 😂🤣

  4. Dawn Renee said,

    Your recount, or at minimum, the educated deliverance with a story line of oh so amusing descriptive terms is admirable. I want to mention both. One way, or another, or both, you’ve not let down.

  5. nightsend84 said,

    Finneganburg… lol!
    Oh boy, please make sure daisy the cow kicks bono’s head off.
    Thank you

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Glad you enjoyed the sci-fi writer’s name of Finneganburg. 😀

      I will certainly encourage Daisy the Irish cow to kick Bono’s head off. 😱🕺🏻🐄

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