If Orson Welles Had Lived His Life As A Black Cat…

September 3, 2020 at 10:28 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Film, Humour, Literature, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

If Orson Welles had lived his life as a black cat:

How Orson As A Black Cat Would Have Performed A Shakespearian Soliquy From MacBeth:

Is this a can of tuna fish I see before me?
Come let me clutch thee.
I have thee not and yet I see thee still
In form as palpable as this which now I draw…

Orson as the Black Cat produces a sketch of Vincent Van Gogh minus an ear.

How Orson As A Black Cat Would Have Done Citizen Kane:

Now is the winter of our discontent
For young master’s sled is gravely bent
And do you think when it hit the kitty litter
Which caused everyone’s nose to flitter
And caused me to say, aye there’s the rub
It would come up smelling like a rosebud?

How Orson As A Black Cat Would Have Recited Poe’s The Raven:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore-
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door,
“Tis the pizza delivery those silly humans have ordered,”
Quoth I, “only this and nothing more.”

How Orson As A Black Cat Would Have Recited His Lines In
Tennessee Williams’ Cat On A Hot Tin Roof:

Orson as Black Cat (playing the cat ON the hot tin roof):

Me-Owww! Me-Owww! Me-Owww!

If Orson Welles had lived his life as a black cat

-written by Christopher
Thursday September 3rd


  1. Jo said,

    You have so much imagination. And humor. Love this post! πŸ™‚

  2. carlamilho said,

    You have got a good sense of humor 😁

  3. monimonikablog said,

    thats what I do. I read blogs, I drink wine and I know things. Have a good night. πŸ˜‰

  4. retrodee said,

    That was funny! And to a cat lover such as myself, more interesting than the original works. πŸ™‚

  5. Seoul Sister said,

    I think you write as well as the classical poets but with additional cleverness and charmπŸ’–. Orson Welles is one of my favorite characters that you write about, adding the cat dimension is brilliant.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you so very much, Judy. πŸ’“

      It’s wonderful to hear that I write as well as the classical poets. 😊

      The ghost of Orson Welles is one of my favourite characters in my novel too.

      And as soon as I came across that picture of a cat, my first thought on seeing it was, “That’s Orson Welles if he had been a black cat.”

      And the rest of my writing and inspiration flowed from there.

      • Seoul Sister said,

        That’s a great way to go with the flow of inspiration, that cat does look like him 😊I like when Orson drinks his spectral wine, no wine before it’s time πŸ˜€

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL ! Yes, exactly Orson’s spectral wine is no wine before its time. πŸ˜€

  6. David Redpath said,

    A thoroughly scratching post, Chris 😎

  7. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    Hahaha I’m in love with this prose. I adore black cats and the humor of this one had me laughing out loud πŸ˜‚

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, this is one of my favourite poems that I’ve written in a long while, Jessica. πŸ˜€

      I like black cats too, Jessica.

      It seems to me black cats get a bad wrap in horror stories and horror films

      But they just want to be loved like every other cat.

      Yes, Orson’s humour as a black cat is pure Purina purr-fection. 😹

      • Jessica E. Larsen said,

        That’s true… black cats tend to appear more mysterious but they’re just as loveable as any other.
        I got a children book on with a black cat for this reason.
        Well, it’s a good to have it as favorite πŸ’ž

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It’s wonderful someone has written a children’s book giving black cats a good name. πŸ™‚

        Yes, it’s always nice to have a favourite. πŸ˜€

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: