Renfield’s Reflections On Armenia-Azerbaijan Conflict

September 30, 2020 at 10:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was returning home to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London estate from Parliament.

He had to step over the bodies of an elite Turkish commando unit belonging to Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

The commandos had been sent to Set’s estate to kidnap Renfield.

There they had the misfortune to run into the Set estate’s fierce guard cat Nefertiti Galore who promptly tore them to shreds.

Once inside the house, Renfield got on his computer and got into a Skype conversation with his friend Amadeus Emanon who was currently residing in Australia.

Their topic of conversation was the Armenia-Azerbaijan Conflict over the territory of Nagorno-Karabakh (the territory was called Artsakh by the Armenians).

“Peace in the region has been reigning somewhat since the 1994 ceasefire between Armenia and Azerbaijan,” Renfield explained, “but this past summer, Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey has been busy shooting his mouth off and giving vocal encouragement to Azerbaijan to take back the Nagorno-Karabakh territory by force offering Turkish military assistance if necessary.”

“Nagorno-Karabakh once belonged to Azerbaijan?” Amadeus asked.

“It originally belonged to Armenia but Soviet dictator Josef Stalin with his usual penchant for doing harm and rearranging territory and peoples in the old USSR on his own personal whims took Nagorno-Karabakh away from the Soviet republic of Armenia and gave it to the Soviet republic of Azerbaijan even though the majority of the territory’s citizens were ethnic Armenian. After Stalin kicked the bucket, the territory later became an autonomous region within Azerbaijan. When the USSR started falling to pieces and Gorbachev like the king in the old Humpty Dumpty rhyme couldn’t put it together again, Armenia and Azerbaijan fought a war for control of the region. A ceasefire was established in 1994 and Nagorno-Karabakh became a self-governing entity run under the control of the territory’s Armenian population,” Renfield noted.

Meanwhile in Paris France, French President Emmanuel Macron was likewise becoming concerned at Erdogan’s words and actions in the Armenia-Azerbaijan conflict.

Spurred on by Renfield’s comments in the British House of Commons yesterday as well as remarks made by Renfield’s French political ally the Kraken Napoleon VI (who was the leader of the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party as well as the husband of the ex-Gorgon Medusa) in the French National Assembly, Macron was taking a stand.

Today Macron said that he was “extremely concerned by the warlike messages” coming from Turkey.

Adding to Macron’s concerns was a report from the Syrian Observatory For Human Rights that about 320 Syrian mercenaries (who were fighting for an anti-Assad faction backed by the Neo-Ottoman Erdogan) had been transported to Azerbaijan by pro-Erdogan Turkish security companies.

Also today Macron warned Turkey about “warlike comments which essentially remove any inhibitions from Azerbaijan in what would be a reconquest of Nagorno-Karabakh. That we will not accept.”

Macron also promised greater support for Armenia in the coming days, “I say to Armenia and the Armenians, France will play its role.”

Amadeus asked Renfield, “What do you think might happen?”.

“Well,” Renfield ate his slice of Baked Alaska cake, “About half-way through the summer, I started to wonder if the final icing on the cake for this peculiar year that is 2020 wouldn’t be the outbreak of World War III. No one saw a virus coming from China that would turn the lives upside down of everyone on the planet. Inspector Clouseau of Pink Panther movie fame once said that his mother was strangled by an Armenian phrenologist. So likewise no one thought at the start of this year that Clouseau’s mother’s revenge through a cross-dressing salesman of Turkish Delight candies residing in the Turkish Presidential Palace in Istanbul would result in World War III.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 30th


  1. Kritika said,

    “like the king in the old Humpty Dumpty rhyme couldn’t put it together again” oops. And it is terrifying. WW3 will be a disaster in midst of this pandemic (which is a war internal and external). 😦

  2. David Redpath said,

    “A cross-dressing salesman of Turkish
    Delight candies residing in the Turkish
    Presidential Palace in Istanbul.” . . .
    Leonard Constantinople the Belligerent
    thought that was particularly apt πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜Ž

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Leonard Constantinople the Belligerent βš”πŸ›‘πŸ‡ thoroughly enjoyed that. 😎

  3. David Redpath said,

    And he has a soft spot
    for Turkish Delight βš’οΈβ€οΈβ›οΈ

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      The same soft spot that Vlad the Impaler had. ⛏πŸ”ͺβš’

      • David Redpath said,

        ~ Uncle Ernie
        (who’s had his fair share
        of impaling ⬆️ 😎)

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, well that’s what he gets for becoming a born-again Ashkenazi every few years.

        He’s been circumcized so many times, one wonders if he has anything left in the front nether regions.

        Teddy Roosevelt’s expression “Walk softly and carry a big stick” must wind up on Uncle Ernie’s Christmas wish list every year only to come to nought with the arrival of Boxing Day. πŸŽ…πŸ»πŸŽπŸ›€πŸ»

      • David Redpath said,

        Being a born-again Ashkenazi,
        Uncle Ernie gets nothing from me
        for Christmas, Chris 🎁
        I think he would’ve been
        immeasurably better off
        if he had stayed a Rastafarian

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And if Uncle Ernie does pay a visit to his alleged son Justin, he can go looking like Bob Marley.

      • David Redpath said,

        “Just In” Ernie is a hard act to follow.
        Especially in his Cumalita persona.
        I just don’t think Justin’s black face
        is any match for Uncle Ernie’s world
        famous drag queen extravaganzaπŸ’ƒ

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Indeed not. 😎

  4. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    I think it will be more of a world civil war than WWIII if this problem continues.
    And damn, I want to meet a cat that’s very capable of guarding a house like that haha πŸ˜„

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, it will probably be more of a world civil war, Jessica.

      And yes a guard cat like Nefertiti Galore would be a great cat to have. πŸ˜„

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