Pachamama, Sultan Erdogan and The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog

October 4, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama walked through the Vatican Gardens accompanied by the flaming disembodied head of the French Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

It was a year ago today that Pope Francis had wooden statues of Pachamama brought into the Vatican Gardens and a whole bunch of people had bowed down to them.

Teilhard’s flaming head set fire to some of the plants and trees in the garden and Swiss Guards had to bring forth buckets of water to put it out.

A Vatican spokesman later blamed the Vatican Gardens fire on Climate Change.

. . .

In the Armenia-Azerbaijan War over Nagorno-Karabakh, things were taking a definite change for the worst.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was warning people that the conflict had the potential to erupt into World War III but New Age prophetess Oprah Winfrey and demonically possessed self-help guru Anthony Robbins (a Calgary based geopolitical analyst once had the misfortune to quite literally run into the self-help guru as he was rushing down the stairwell of Edmonton’s Westin Hotel where the self-help guru was putting on a seminar and judging from Robbins’ vitriolic reaction that’s how he came to know the self-help guru was demonically possessed) said that Renfield should not be giving out such negative vibes.

A genetically created talking ostrich (genetically created by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher) who had his head buried in the sand agreed with Oprah’s and Robbins’ assessment of the situation.

The Greek god of war Ares (anxious for a major war) had directed Azeri forces to launch a missile attack on the Armenian Nagorno-Karabakh regional capital of Stepanakert.

In response Armenian Nagorno-Karabakh military forces aided and abetted by Thor the Norse god of thunder (who was also anxious for a major war) proceeded to shell the city of Ganja which was Azerbaijan’s second largest city.

Large numbers of civilians were killed on both sides.

Meanwhile in Turkey, Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war (who was the third member of the trio of ancient pagan deities trying to start a Third World War the past couple of years) was busy encouraging Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan to finish off the Armenian Genocide that the Ottoman Empire neglected to finish off 100 years ago.

It didn’t take much to persuade Erdogan who already had that in mind.

. . .

Meanwhile in the small Suffolk coastal village of Dunwich England, Sherrielock Holmes and Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit Secret Agent Miranda Singh managed to locate the taxidermically stuffed body of the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog whose less than 15 minutes of fame occurred when he appeared in the 1975 fantasy/comedy film Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

The stuffed rabbit’s body was found next to an Andy Warhol autographed Campbell’s Soup Can in The Buddha and Edison Anchor Watt Pub in Dunwich where retired fishermen and retired sea captains often hang out.

Pachamama the Inca earth mother goddess posted a photo of herself on Twitter to let people know that she looked nothing at all like the wooden statues of herself that Pope Francis commissioned an avante-garde Jesuit artist to make to use in last year’s Amazon Synod opening worship ceremonies in the Vatican Gardens

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 4th


  1. George F. said,

    I love it when flaming disembodied heads are involved…like the ” flaming disembodied head of the French Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.” From you, it cracks me up and it’s not evil at all.

  2. David Redpath said,

    Sounds like that intrepid Calgary based
    geopolitical analyst had had a close
    call with that demonically possessed
    self-help guru. Uncle Ernie has history
    with Anthony Robbins. He bought that
    book, ‘Awaken the Giant Within’, hoping
    it would help him pad out his sequined
    g-string. He even purchased ‘Unlimited
    Power’, also by Anthony Robbins, in the
    belief it would help to ween him off
    Viagra. Needless to say, Uncle Ernie was
    bitterly disappointed on both counts.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Poor Uncle Ernie.

      “A Cumelita show performer’s lot is not a happy one” to paraphrase Gilbert and Sullivan.

  3. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    I wouldn’t feel flattered is the only one who agrees with me is an ostrich that its head stuck in the sand. πŸ˜„
    And people should see statues of Jesus and Maria in the Philippines. They almost looks scary at times. So different from ones in Spain.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, indeed that would not be flattering when the only one who agrees with you is an ostritch who has his head buried in the sand. πŸ˜‚

      That is interesting that the statues of Jesus and Maria in the Philippines look scary at times when compared with the statues of Jesus and Maria in Spain.

      • Jessica E. Larsen said,

        I think it has to do with the exaggerated whiteness of their skin, colors of the eyes and most of all, how their long their noses are made, it almost starts above the eyebrows straight down to the upper lip. I wouldn’t say every statues looks like this, but I’ve seen so much of them… 😨

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Those do sound like unusual looking statues.

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