The Headless Horseman In Pumpkin Country

October 9, 2020 at 10:39 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow had been without a head ever since his pumpkin head had been ripped off during the course of a discount sale on pumpkin spice lattes in Ravenna a few weeks ago.

He sat in a cafe in Rome, Italy alongside his black zombie horse Bucephalus Reborn.

Bucephalus was entertaining the customers by singing a song from an old 1950s television show,

“Mr. Ed the talking horse
of course, of course, of course…”

Bucephalus then stopped to add bushels of sugar to his giant cup of tea.

On the radio, a news story was unfolding:

Joseph Cardinal Zen of Hong Kong has called Vatican Secretary of State Pietro Parolin a liar over the Vatican-China Agreement that the Vatican hopes to renew with Communist China by next month.
Said Cardinal Zen, “Parolin knows that he is lying. He knows that I know he is a liar, he knows that I will tell everyone he is a liar…”

The newscaster then said, “We tried to find a politician anywhere in the world who would back up Cardinal Zen’s claim that Cardinal Parolin is a liar.
The only one we could find is British MP Renfield R. Renfield.”

Voice of Renfield: Cardinal Zen is absolutely right. Cardinal Parolin is a liar.

The Headless Horseman then remarked to Bucephalus Reborn, “Pope Francis is not very happy with that Englishman Renfield.”

The horse responded while sipping his tea, “Of course, of course, of course.”

Sophia the Greco-Egyptian goddess of wisdom then entered the cafe and noticed the Headless Horseman was looking very forlorn without his head attached to his shoulders.

She asked him what was up.

The Headless Horseman then explained the situation.

“Too bad your pumpkin head was ripped off,” Sophia stated sympathetically as she ordered a slice of pumpkin pie from the waiter, “I suppose you’re looking for a new pumpkin to replace it.”

“I am,” the Headless Horseman nodded without a head which was quite an accomplishment in itself.

“I hear the Great Pumpkin of Charlie Brown Peanuts fame is visiting your hometown of Sleepy Hollow tonight,” Sophia licked the whipped cream off her slice of pumpkin pie.

“Too bad I’m thousands of miles from Sleepy Hollow,” the Headless Horseman sighed.

“Of course, of course, of course,” Buchephalus nodded.

Sophia then phoned her son Yaldabaoth the Irish Leprechaun.

Yaldabaoth had recently become united with his pet pterodactyl who had been lost since 1940 when the latter had heard that Benito Mussolini was looking for him.

She asked Yaldabaoth to fly the pterodactyl from Ireland to Rome so that the Headless Horseman could borrow it to fly to Sleepy Hollow.

Yaldabaoth and his pterodactyl managed to land in Rome in a manner of minutes.

The pterodactyl having been spurred on by an ingestion of Uncle Ernie’s Chemical of the Day mailed to him from Australia.

The Headless Horseman and Bucephalus Reborn then boarded the pterodactyl and headed off to Sleepy Hollow in upstate New York.

They were soon in sight of Pumpkin Country around Sleepy Hollow.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 9th
2020.

30 Comments

  1. Raj said,

    That’s fascinating

  2. Kritika said,

    “Too bad your pumpkin head was ripped off”, while having a pumpkin pie which she was enjoying πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£ Teasing the headless.

  3. TADS said,

    ottimo

  4. shΡ”rrΓ­Ρ” dΡ” vΞ±lΡ”rΓ­Ξ± said,

    Beheaded right there before Halloween … geeezzz … sucks … LOL

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, you won’t have a mouth to eat candies or chocolates with.

      Definitely sucks… LOL ! πŸ˜‚

  5. Anonymole said,

    Yaldabaoth and I are going bar-crawling, with or without his flying lizard.

  6. George F. said,

    Another mystery: nodding without a head. Good one!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you, George. πŸ˜€

      A mystery to rank up there with who built the pyramids? Or how do they get the caramilk inside the Caramilk bar?

  7. Kally said,

    Interesting and intriguing

  8. David Redpath said,

    Uncle Ernie’s Drug of the Day does
    tend to have it’s ups and downs.
    I’m so glad that Yaldabaoth had a
    safe landing, unlike many of Uncle
    Ernie’s poor customers.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes I understand a CERN Large Hadron Collider tunnel time travel experiment happened where a package of Unce Ernie’s Drug of The Day was inadvertently sent back in time instead of a package containing German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s recipe for sauerkraut.

      Computers show the package was sent back to July 2nd 1937.

      Which coincidentally enough was the same day Amelia Earhart’s plane disappeared.

      • David Redpath said,

        Another coincidence,, Chris!
        Sour Kraut is Uncle Ernie’s pet
        name for Angela Merkel. Their
        torrid affair has since ended, but
        apparently the German Chancellor
        still shakes every time she thinks
        about it 😱

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        She no doubt wonders, “Argh! Vat vas I thinking?”. 😱

  9. David Redpath said,

    Indeed! Apparently old Uncle Ernie
    likes a few extra ingredients in his
    Berlin sandwich that poor Angela
    wasn’t expecting πŸŒΆοΈπŸ†πŸ—πŸ₯’πŸ₯“πŸ–

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I wonder what poor Berlin grocery vender Uncle Ernie swiped those from? πŸ€”

      As I don’t imagine Uncle Ernie packs any of those around in his underwear.

  10. David Redpath said,

    Uncle Ernie seems to have an
    unlimited funds Amazon.com
    credit card. It’s a long story, but
    I have noticed that it’s signed,
    ‘Jeff Bezos’. Perhaps not that
    long a story? πŸ€”

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I imagine if Uncle Ernie is involved, it’s a rather short story.

      Still enough to impress Jeff Bezos. 😲

      • David Redpath said,

        Uncle Ernie calls Jeff Bezos
        King Drone. I don’t think he’s
        referring to those flying things πŸ€”

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I can see Earl Stanley Gardner writing a book called Perry Mason Solves The Mystery of The Boring Climax.

  11. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    Got to admire how she can sit there mock him while eating same thing as his head πŸ˜‚
    Of course liars will hate Renfield having no idea that we love him for the same reason. 😁
    On a side note… I’ve been terrified of the headless horseman when I was a kid haha πŸ˜„

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, that was funny Sophia mocked the Horseman’s missing pumpkin head while she was eating pumpkin pie. πŸ₯§πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      Yes, I found the Headless Horseman a terrifying figure when I was a kid.

      My headless horseman is more of a comedic figure.πŸ˜‚

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