Killer Rabbit As Melbourne’s Decapitating Robin Hood

October 12, 2020 at 10:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Nagorno-Karabakh War between Armenia and Azerbaijan was continuing to go on despite a Russian negotiated ceasefire this past weekend.

Civilian areas in cities continued to be hit on both sides.

Last week the historic Holy Saviour Cathedral in the Nagorno-Karabakh Armenian city of Shusha (also called Shushi) suffered terrible destruction when it was targeted by Azeri shelling.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield said that Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan was probably disappointed by the cathedral’s wreckage because now the would-be Ottoman Sultan wouldn’t be able to turn it into an Islamic mosque.

Also on the Erdogan front the Turkish leader was once again sending a research ship into Greek territorial waters in the East Mediterranean to conduct seismic studies in search of natural gas reserves.

Back in the summer, Turkey had conducted similar intrusions in search of exploiting natural gas reserves.

That escalated tensions with Greece and caused a joint military exercise amongst Greece, France, Italy and Cyprus in the East Mediterranean in a show of strength against Turkey.

The name of the exercise was Eunomia (named after a minor Greek goddess of law and good order).

With Erdogan stretching his hands out all over the place, Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher had finally put the brains of 12th Century Scottish Crusader Leonard MacDavid into the taxidermically stuffed body of the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog (who had made a memorable cameo appearance in the 1975 film Monty Python and The Holy Grail).

Using electricity, the best of Transhumanist science and a resurrection spell from the ancient Egyptian Book of The Dead, Dr. Rocher brought the unusual hybrid creature to life.

And Leonard Constantinople the Belligerent Crusader Rabbit was born (the Crusader Rabbit who would liberate Constantinople from Erdogan).

But where would the rabbit cut his baby teeth before moving against Erdogan?

Renfield suggested Melbourne, Australia where the Melbourne Police Force were acting like a group of stormtrooping thugs in enforcing Victoria state dictator Daniel Andrews’ totalitarian lockdown rules (the most draconian on the planet).

Melbourne police had arrested a pregnant woman in her Melbourne home because she dared to mention an anti-lockdown protest on her Facebook page.

They had arrested a mother on the beach and handcuffed her in front of her crying children with 5 or 6 brutish officers landing on top of her because they felt she wasn’t practicing social distancing.

They had arrested a homeless man for sleeping in his car (because he didn’t have a home or any belongings except his car) and gave him a fine of $30,000 thus drastically setting back his chances of ever getting back on his feet

They arrested a mother and father in their car for going grocery shopping because they accidentally crossed an imaginary line drawn on a map by one of Daniel Andrews’ Gestapo bureaucrats for venturing outside their designated geographical prison zone.

They were fined $5000 each.

Meanwhile the Chief of Melbourne Police was continuing to consult with the ghosts of Nazi SS head Heinrich Himmler and Soviet Stalinist era NKVD head Lavrentiy Beria on how to conduct the draconian lockdown.

The ghosts of Himmler and Beria gave daily workshops to members of the SSVD (which stood for Sexually Sterile and Venereal Disease carrying) Melbourne Police Force.

Leonard Constantinople was flown to Melbourne in the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airship.

Inside an apartment a pregnant woman was being arrested for having posted an unflattering tweet about Victoria state dictator Daniel Andrews.

Soon the arresting officers found their heads being bitten off by Leonard Constantinople the Belligerent Crusader Rabbit (the bunny formerly known as the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog).

5 or 6 officers of the Melbourne SSVD dragged a screaming woman to the ground along a beach in front of her children for not practicing social distancing.

The 5 or 6 Melbourne SSVD officers were set upon by a bunny rabbit who promptly bit off all their heads.

When they attempted to arrest another homeless man for sleeping in his car, the arresting Melbourne SSVD officers likewise had their heads bitten off by a bunny rabbit.

Parents being stopped in their car for daring to shop for groceries soon found themselves being arrested by officers of the Melbourne SSVD Police Force.

The arresting Melbourne SSVD Police Force officers soon found themselves getting their heads bitten off by a bunny rabbit.

News of a killer bunny rabbit targeting the heads of police officers soon caused much consternation (in addition to much penicillin flowing) among members of the Melbourne SSVD Police Force.

The Chief of the Melbourne SSVD Police Force consulted with the ghosts of Himmler and Beria on the issue.

Both Himmler and Beria replied they never dealt with the likes of a killer rabbit in either the Third Reich or the USSR.

Victoria state dictator Daniel Andrews was pulling his hair out over news of his stormtrooping police officers meeting their deaths at the teeth of a killer rabbit.

Andrews felt in his gut (in addition to his heartburn caused by eating too much caviar) that Renfield of Great Britain was responsible for the whole mess.

“Who will rid me of this troublesome British MP?” Andrews spoke to his stuffed koala bear rug.

He had posed a question asked by so many before- Vladimir Putin, Pope Francis, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Xi Jinping and Justin Trudeau among them.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 12th


  1. Jo said,

    It smells like Halloween already. πŸ™‚

  2. Kritika said,

    I wish there was this rabbit in real and doing all this. What crazy people are. Imposing such heavy fines.

  3. monimonikablog said,

    I too wish there was this rabbit in Victoria. Terrible things are happing.

  4. David Redpath said,

    The Victorian police even arrested
    and fined poor Uncle Ernie for not
    wearing a mask, but It had nothing
    to do with the Corona Virus. It was
    all about a “Make Australia Beautiful
    Again” campaign recently launched
    by Chairman Dan. With everyone
    running around in masks it seemed
    like perfect timing 😷

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Couldn’t Uncle Ernie have used his g-string as a mask? πŸ€”

      • David Redpath said,

        Would you use Uncle Ernie’s
        g-string as a facial mask ?!
        And Uncle Ernie knows exactly
        where that thing has been 😱

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It’s boldly gone where no man (or woman or gender undecided) has gone before. 😱

      • David Redpath said,

        Uncle Ernie’s experimentations,
        in his continual striving for an ever
        better Drug of the Day, has resulted
        in all his hair falling out.
        So, with the German Chancellor,
        Uncle Ernie not only boldly came
        and went there, he also went bald-ly.
        Angela Merkel went as far as
        making Uncle Ernie wear a merkin.
        He even went to the trouble of
        having a cashmere one made
        especially. Bespoke for a poke,
        so to speak. He calls it his
        Merkel Merkin. Uncle Ernie has
        become very attached to it. In fact,
        he never takes it off, despite the
        trouble he has trying to tuck it into
        his little sequined g-string when
        performing as Cumalita in his
        drag show extravaganza.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I can already picture Scottish singer Andy Stewart of The White Heather Show singing of Uncle Ernie,

        “He’s a jerkin’ with his merkin
        by the bonnie banks of Clyde
        and his g-string clearly shows
        he doesn’t have much to hide…”

      • David Redpath said,

        You’d be a long time roamin’ in
        the gloamin’ to find anything
        worth stuffing into the haggis
        in that wee little sequined g-string.
        Uncle Ernie’s is sadly lacking
        in the sporran department 🏴󠁧󠁒󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 😎

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        So we won’t be seeing Uncle Ernie as a kilt wearing spokesman for the Scottish Nationalist cause anytime in the near future. 🏴󠁧󠁒󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿😎

      • David Redpath said,

        Uncle Ernie is strictly apolitical.
        As in he’s a political idiot. The
        accursed Sassenachs have him
        firmly by the Brussels πŸ€πŸ€
        and vice versa. But, I think he
        quite enjoys it 🏏🎱πŸ₯ŠπŸŽ―πŸ‘

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think he probably does enjoy it. πŸ₯³

  5. David Redpath said,

    “Constantinople will be free again!”
    ~ An Anonymous Rabbit, a. k. a.
    The Swinging Eviscerator of Sultans

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      And then the Sultan will be as one with his eunuch guard.

      Imagine no test-a-cles, it’s easy if you try.

      -John Lenin

      • David Redpath said,

        “No puffed up Caliph
        to threaten and bully us.
        No need for Kurds
        or Armenians to cry 😒
        You may say I’m a
        belligerent Crusader, but
        I’m not the only one.
        Someday we’ll meet
        in that rebuilt temple
        in a new Jerusalem,
        and the world 🌍
        will be as one 🎢”

        ~ Leonard Constantinople

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think Leonard Constantinople has a great hit on his hands. πŸŽΆπŸ‡

  6. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    Are all those arrests for real? It wouldn’t surprise me, I heard worse stuff but seriously if a man is homeless how can pay? The logic are too stupid.

    • Jessica E. Larsen said,

      Oh and I want to add damn how dare they do that to a pregnant woman in front kids… ugh! My migraine is activating. I kept thinking about it 20min after reading… sigh

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, they’re definitely engaging in an abuse of power, those Victoria cops, Jessica.

        It just goes to show how quickly a previously democratic society can turn totalitarian.

        All that’s needed is a pandemic or something else.

        The U.S. Department of Homeland Security was created shortly after 9/11.

        And the Department of Homeland Security was created with the same powers that the German Gestapo had.

        And the Gestapo was created by Hitler just a couple of months after the fire that burnt the German Reichstag down in 1933.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, sadly those arrests were for real, Jessica.

      And fining a homeless man for not being in his home, that’s the epitome of illogic.

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