Dinner At Tiffany’s: Leprechaun of The Dance

October 16, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Tiffany Twisted: Formerly the sensuous witch of the Hotel California
and now the sensuous witch of Sleepy Hollow

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun had been invited to dinner in the Inn room across the hall from his own.

The room that had been rented to one Tiffany Twisted.

Yaldabaoth bathed, showered and shaved.

Then he put on his Irish Spring Mist of The River Shannon aftershave cologne followed by his best green tuxedo and little green bow tie.

Then he walked out the door.

Bucephalus Reborn the walking, talking and dancing zombie black horse thought to himself, “I wonder if I should have told him he forgot to put his trousers on.”

A thought with which Joe Biden campaign staffers were quite familiar with when it came to their own candidate.

Yaldabaoth knocked on the door.

“Come in, Yaldabaoth,” the sensuous voice of Tiffany Twisted beckoned.

Yaldabaoth opened the door and saw this vision:

“Wow, do you ever look hot,” Yaldabaoth felt like President Teddy Roosevelt at this very moment.

“I see you came prepared,” Tiffany smiled like the siren laced rocks of the eastern Mediterranean.

Yaldabaoth looked down and his face turned red, “Faith and begorrah, I seem to have forgotten my trousers.”

He grabbed a copy of James Joyce’s Ulysses off the room’s bookshelf and held it in front of his shamrock deco decorated underwear.

“It’s all right, Yaldabaoth,” she smiled like dawn rising over the hill of Tara, “I like a leprechaun who knows what he wants.”

Tiffany dimmed the lights and started lighting candles.

In the background could be heard Cher’s voice singing on an old 45,

Dark lady laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one
Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Dark lady played back magic till the clock struck on the twelve
She told me more about me than I knew myself.

When the candles were lit, Tiffany and Yaldabaoth drank red wine and ate a Guinness laced Irish potato casserole.

For dessert, they had pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top.

“I hope this pie wasn’t made with my friend Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden’s head,” Yaldabaoth commented as he licked the whipped cream off Tiffany’s toes.

His newly formed acquaintance Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden was the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow and had a pumpkin jack o’ lantern for a head.

“It wasn’t,” Tiffany assurred him with tender kisses.

The clock was approaching 12.

“Let’s dance,” Tiffany put on her record player again.

Tiffany reached for Yaldabaoth’s lucky shamrock.

The voice on the record sang,

I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

He did the mash, he did the monster mash
The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash
He did the mash, it caught on in a flash
He did the mash, he did the monster mash

At that moment the Headless Horseman walked in unaware that he was entering the wrong room.

When he saw what the leprechaun and the sensuous witch were doing, he screamed, “I’m blind. I’m blind.”

He turned out into the hall, ran down the stairs, tripped over his feet, landed on the floor and his pumpkin head came off and rolled towards the grandfather clock that was just starting to strike 12.

“Mercy,” the innkeeper muttered at the front desk, “This never happened at the Hotel California.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 16th
2020.

8 Comments

  1. Anonymole said,

    When I was young and in possession of a transistor radio, I memorized the lyrics to that song Monster Mash which thrilled me no end when I heard it’s beginning chords on the AM station “WEEL Radio.” That in concert with The Grinch had me enraptured with Boris Karloff’s voice. I’m sure I was not alone.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, I was enraptured with Boris Karloff’s voice when I was younger.

      I could impersonate Karloff’s voice along with the voices of Bela Lugosi, Peter Lorre, Wolfman Jack and Rod Serling.

  2. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    Haha that headless horseman is way too clumsy πŸ˜‚ and how the heck do you dance too that creepy song?
    The aftershave’s name is cool!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I imagine Jessica you’d dance to that song with great difficulty. πŸ˜‚

      And yes that aftershave’s name is quite cool. 😎

      Some maker of aftershave should use that name and pay me royalties. πŸ˜€

  3. draculauren said,

    This made me smile at a time I need it most! πŸ™‚ I’ve never felt so sorry for the headless horseman.

    Tiffany and Yaldabaoth are both getting lucky tonight.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you, Lauren. πŸ™‚

      I’m happy to hear my post made you smile in sad times.

      Yes, the Headless Horseman is definitely a sympathetic character in this chapter. πŸŽƒ

      And you’re right, Tiffany and Yaldabaoth are both getting lucky tonight. πŸ˜‚

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