Pope Francis Has Dinner With Baphomet

October 21, 2020 at 10:35 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Samhain Cardinal Salaman the former professional stage magician turned Cardinal was having a telephone interview with his former ghostly stage apprentice Belvedere the Ghost White Salamander reporter for The Times of London.

“Well,” Samhain Cardinal Salaman began, “Pope Francis has decided to mark the one year anniversary of Austrian Catholic layman Alexander Tschugguel throwing the Pachamama idols into the Tiber River by announcing that he’s in favour of sodomite civil unions.”

“How was the announcement made?” Belvedere wrote swiftly in his spectral notebook with his spectral quill pen.

“Through the world premiere of a movie that Pope Francis had shown in Rome today,” Salaman answered, “The movie is called Francesco and is about Pope Francis’ favourite person of all time Pope Francis and his agenda for a pro-Sodom and Gomorrah Communist utopia that he envisions for a post pandemic world.”

Meanwhile in his Vatican apartment, Pope Francis was having dinner with the demon Baphomet to celebrate the occasion.

An Amazon River rainforest guinea pig was suckling milk off the Baphomet’s female breasts as the demon was seated enjoying Black Forest venison and a glass of red wine.

The demon Baphomet is of course part goat and part human as well as part male and part female.

Francis called out to his chef as he ate his own plate of venison, “Luigi, this particular brand of salt seasoning you used on this venison is supurb. Where did you get the salt?.”

“From the Midde East, oh great Vicar of Cthulhu and Mictlantecuhtli,” Luigi answered, “From a pillar of salt.”

“A pillar of salt?” Francis raised his left eyebrow.

“It was apparently called Lot’s Wife by the locals for some reason and was said to have to stood in that one spot for millenia,” Luigi explained, “A group of Jesuit archeaologists this past summer who were excavating by day and having Dionysian Apollo and Hyacinth gay sex orgies by night decided to bring back the pillar of salt with them and presented it to my kitchen. I decided to save the salt for a special occasion and today marks the first time I’ve used it.”

“Lot’s wife?” Pope Francis rubbed his chin πŸ€”, “That name sounds familiar for some reason.”

“I believe it’s mentioned in the Bible, your Non-Holiness,” Luigi bowed and went back to his kitchen.

“Hm, it’s been ages since I last read that book,” Francis thought as he sipped his wine.

Meanwhile Amorous Laetitia the familiar black cat of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft strolled up on to the table.

A large saucer of Baileys Irish Cream (which she preferred to milk) had been left out for her.

She eagerly licked it up and then pranced off meowing, “Hic! Meow! Hic! Meow! Hic! Meow!”.

Up on the window ledge, Cernunnos the Celtic stag horned god was holding his cross-bow and arrow.

The part stag part human deity was pissed that Francis and the Baphomet were eating deer meat.

Cernunnos fired his bow.

The arrow took off Francis’ papal white cap and continued on its way striking the Baphomet in the left testicle.

Francis’ papal white cap on the Baphomet’s left testicle was somehow highly symbolic of how the day went.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 21st


  1. Sabiscuit said,

    Thanks for the checklist of dishes and beverages I need to order from my favorite bistro this evening. I will request black forest venison for a later date. The chef is resourceful. I am sure he knows a dude who knows another dude.

  2. Unique Tales said,

    Another excellent post. 😊Hope you are well.

  3. Hetty Eliot said,

    Bergoglio is the gift that keeps on giving.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Indeed he is, Hetty.

      And like the old Cyndi Lauper song says, his true colours keep shining through. πŸ€‘πŸ˜ˆπŸ‘ΏπŸ‘ΉπŸ‘Ί

  4. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    That ending… ew… πŸ˜–

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I was using a metaphorical image at the end there.

      Francis is embracing the sexual abominations that occurred in the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

      And at the same time, he’s embracing Communism (which is the ideology of the far left).

      Baphomet is the demon that represents sexual abominations.

      So the fact the papal white cap landed on the Baphomet’s left testicle is my metaphorical way of saying that Pope Francis is embracing the sexual abominations of ancient Sodom and Gomorrah and the left-wing totalitarian ideology of Communism.

      Sometimes I do wonder whether I should write such graphic metaphors.

      But when I see bad people doing bad things in the world, I like to point it out to my readers.

      I assure you I try not to intentionally make my readers go “Ewwww…”

      But when I heard what Pope Francis said on the news yesterday, I was going “Ewwww…”

      I guess I managed to capture that feeling with my ending.

      • Jessica E. Larsen said,

        I understood what you was going for, but I just can’t stop my brain from going into overdrive πŸ˜…

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I hear that scientists at Google (Google apparently has a Science and Robotics division) are doing scientific experiments to see if it’s possible for humans to move objects with their thoughts.

        Imagine if your brain could move a sports car and send it into overdrive.

        You could win a car race without ever having to get into the cockpit of a racing car. 🏁

      • Jessica E. Larsen said,

        Oh that’s interesting, but if I do get a telekinetic ability, there’s something else I want to move than a simple racing car. *rubs hands* hehehe 😈

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        What is it you’d like to move, Jessica? πŸ˜€

      • Jessica E. Larsen said,

        Well, one is forcing those who abuse their power to expose themselves, imagine how they will feel if their body moved against them as they publicly provide evidence against themselves? Hohoho ^.^

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Jessica, I think that is currently happening with Joe and Hunter Biden.

        Read my comment to you on my The Nymph Who Played A Violin poem blog post.

      • Jessica E. Larsen said,

        If they’re guilty then serves them right. Ha!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


      • Hetty Eliot said,

        Well, wasn’t he the one who used that word for poop eaters or whatever, the word that no one ever knew until he used it?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I don’t seem to remember that particular Bergoglioism, Hetty.

        He seems to have uttered so many stupid Bergoglioisms over the years.

        What was his Bergogliosm for poop eaters?

      • Hetty Eliot said,

        I looked up the exact quote:

        β€œI think the media have to be very clear, very transparent, and not fall into – no offence intended – the sickness of coprophilia, that is, always wanting to cover scandals, covering nasty things, even if they are true,” he said. β€œAnd since people have a tendency towards the sickness of coprophagia, a lot of damage can be done.”

        copraphilia = liking poop
        copraphage =one who eats poop

        Why he knows these words, who knows….

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        When you mentioned those two words they rang a bell.

        But not from Francis saying them.

        I once caught the end of a TV documentary about the homosexual lifestyle.

        Someone was talking about certain things that some but not all homosexuals are into.

        And he mentioned copraphlia and copraphage.

      • Hetty Eliot said,

        yeah… I don’t really get that…I’d rather die, but that’s just me.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Me as well.

      • Psalm said,

        Your story actually is all true, thanks for exposing these wickedness!!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        You’re very welcome. πŸ™‚

  5. Kritika said,

    ‘Your non-holiness’ lols should he even use the word Pope.
    Cernunnos the Celtic stag horned god: killing two birds with one stone (arrow) πŸ˜€

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