Renfield, Cheating Democrats, Ovid, Covid and The Grinch That Stole Christmas

October 28, 2020 at 10:19 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having a phone conversation with his parliamentary colleague the Welsh vampiress Morgana.

“So there’s been a heated war of words between French President Emmanuel Macron and Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan,” Morgana pointed out, “What’s that all about?”.

“Erdogan thinks that Islamist terrorists should be allowed to behead French citizens who show cartoons of Mohammed and Macron disagrees,” Renfield noted, “so Erdogan has used extremely unflattering language about Macron and the French government has recalled its Ambassador to Ankara. And Erdogan is calling for a boycott of all French products.”

“What’s become of this Leonard Constantinople the Crusader Rabbit?” Morgana asked, “I thought he was supposed to be taking on Erdogan.”

“Well after biting off the heads of Melbourne’s SS-NKVD Police Department down in Australia, Leonard is currently resting at a monastic rabbit hole near Mont Saint Michel in France,” Renfield explained, “He’ll be going to battle Erdogan’s forces in Syria next week.”

“What about the U.S. election?” Morgana asked, “Do you still expect a Second American Civil War will break out?”.

“That looks to be the way it’s shaping up,” Renfield nodded, “Especially since it sounds like some U.S. states are going to take their sweet time counting the ballots. Allowing plenty of time for the Democrats to cheat. The Democrats have always had a long tradition of cheating in U.S. history. From the days they rigged ballots in the Dixie South (a past the Democrats now say they were never apart of- dropping Lee’s Battle Flag of Northern Virginia as if it were a brothel whore with syphilis- a flag that these historical illiterates in the Democratic Party say was the flag of the Confederacy- which it wasn’t- it was Lee’s flag that he flew in battle- it didn’t fly over Jefferson Davis’ government Capitol Building in Richmond, Virginia) to the days they bribed drunken Irish voters in New York City with buying them beer to Chicago Mayor Richard Daley getting the residents of cemetery plots in Chicago to cast ballots by proxy helping John F. Kennedy defeat Richard M. Nixon in the 1960 Presidential election. The Democrats are cheaters by nature. Always have been. Always will be. These days however the people who make up the base of Donald Trump’s supporters aren’t going to take that. So a fuse will probably go off the morning of November 4th.”

“Who will win?” Morgana asked.

“I don’t know,” said Renfield, “but Putin and Xi will probably enjoy the spectacle.”

“And what has the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit discovered about the origins of the pandemic?” Morgana inquired.

“Well of course the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit never believed the story that it was a wet market in Wuhan selling bats’ wings or pangolins that was responsible for spreading the virus unlike the brainless mainstream Marxist media in the Western world,” Renfield answered, “At first we thought it was an accidental release of the virus from the Wuhan Institute of Virology. But now the growing evidence is it was deliberate. Although the CCP never intended the virus to affect its own citizens. Just the rest of the world. But often when you let a genie out of a bottle, you’ll never know where it will wind up.”

“And so now what?” Morgana asked.

“Well,” Renfield lit his Sherlock Holmes pipe, “Now we know the name of the grinch who stole Christmas is the CCP Chinese Communist Party Wuhan virus which WHO insists be called Covid-19. Incidentally when they called it Covid-19, a geopolitical analyst friend of mine in Calgary somehow thought maybe this was a play on Ovid 19. The 19th line of the opening book of Ovid’s Metamorphoses. He decided to finally get around to looking it up here towards the end of October and Ovid 19 is “Thus air was void of light, and earth unstable, And water’s dark abyss unnavigable”. Which actually is a pretty damned good description of this year. So whatever demon named that virus for WHO officials earlier this year was probably a damned good classicist and connoisseur of ancient Latin literaure.”

Meanwhile at the North Pole, a doctor was informing Mrs. Claus that Santa with his obese condition had succumbed to the Covid-19 virus and had died.

And in the Vatican, Pope Francis was drafting a document which said Jesus had never been born.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 28th


  1. Hetty Eliot said,

    I like the Ovid connection. No one else would have thought of that.

  2. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    Everything is pissing me of lately. Anything about voting are full of dishonesty besides in my opinion what we’re doing when we vote is simply choosing which one we want to dictate the country.

    Yes, Santa and Mrs. Claus might as well die. I told my husband two months after the lockdown that if they can they’ll want to extend this lockdown to next year. He was optimistic but with Norway and Spain going back and even more strict lockdown, till May 2021, He’s finally seeing the darkness haha πŸ˜’

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, stories about the lockdowns they’re starting to impose across Europe again is what inspired me to write this post about the Grinch cancelling Christmas.


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