The Unholy Wilton Says: “Uncle Ted” Wasn’t A Pervert Around Here

October 30, 2020 at 10:40 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

During an interview with a Washington DC local ABC news affiliate, Archbishop Wilton Gregory of Washington DC who is a Pope Francis appointed Cardinal designate told reporter Victoria Sanchez that “Uncle Ted” (the name members of the homosexual American Catholic episcopal cabal gave to Theodore McCarrick the Communist predatory homosexual Cardinal that Pope Francis was forced to laicize back in February 2019 when news of his crimes and misdemanors with altar boys and young seminarians had become all too apparent) was not a pervert when he was in Washington DC. He was a pervert when he served as an auxiliary bishop in New York from 1977 to 1981, he was a pervert when he served as Bishop of Metuchen in New Jersey from 1981 to 1986 and he was a pervert when he served as Archbishop of Newark, New Jersey from 1986 to 2000 but Wilton was absolutely positive that McCarrick was not a pervert when he served as Archbishop of Washington DC from 2000 to 2006.

No doubt by the standards of the DC swamp of which Joe Biden was a part of for 47 years, McCarrick’s personal inclinations might not be considered so perverted by typical Washington DC standards.

When the Zoom interview was over, Archbishop Wilton Gregory left his house where an invisible entity threw a cream pie in his face.

A pollster for one of the mainstream Marxist news media TV outlets who was supposed to be phoning voters to ask who they were voting for was instead sitting in his automobile drinking Harvey Wallbanger cocktails by the bucketload.

As long as he told his editors that the polls seemed to indicate Biden was way ahead of Trump, his editors would be happy.

He saw nothing wrong with making up numbers.

Every other pollster he knew did it anyways.

How did everyone think they so badly blew calling the 2016 election 4 years ago?

The thought of that witch Hillary becoming President had driven most of them to drink.

Either that or start using crack cocaine.

Of which Hunter Biden had a head start on them by several years.

Anyways the pollster was pretty sure that a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears had thrown the cream pie in Archbishop Wilton Gregory’s face.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was once again in his greenhouse in Ottawa.

He was once again standing in front of his marijuana cannabis pot smoking antique late Victorian/early Edwardian era mirror that he had named Magical Mystery Tour.

The mirror itself was possessed by Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of smoking mirrors.

As he always did on these occasions when he stood in front of this mirror, he was once again administering blackface to himself using a make-up brush and a can of black shoe polish.

He reflected sadly on how Al Jolson minstrel show wannabes such as himself weren’t as fortunate as members of the LGBTQ2S+ plus community.

They had to remain in the closet.

Or in his case the greenhouse.

“Life is so unfair,” Justin wiped away a tear to prevent his blackface from being smudged, “If people can say they were born in the wrong gender, why can’t they say they were born in the wrong race?”.

Justin looked over at the TV screen on his personal TV in the greenhouse.

He noticed news video footage of Archbishop Wilton Gregory of Washington DC after he had just been hit in the face with a cream pie.

“It’s Archbishop Wilton Gregory of Washington DC the new Pope Francis Cardinalate appointee who will become the first African-American Cardinal when he’s elevated at next month’s papal consistory at the Vatican,” Justin looked surprised, “and (gasp!), he’s wearing whiteface.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 30th


  1. Sabiscuit said,

    How is Trudeau still in office after what is clearly an impeachable offence? We all witnessed that video conference where he refused to answer questions. The prorogation of parliament, the redacted emails with whole pages blacked out. Will the giant cephalopod in the sky PLEASE answer me.

    My Halloween treat for you is my favourite film this year, “All the Substance is Blacked Out”. A short film (02:03) by Pierre Poilievre. The action starts from 00:50 –

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Unfortunately Canadian Prime Ministers unlike American Presidents can’t be impeached.

      As for the giant cephalopod in the sky, Cthulhu is currently napping at R’lyeh the undersea city located at the Nemo Point in the Pacific Ocean.

      Thanks for the video. πŸ™‚

      Happy Halloween. πŸŽƒ

      • Sabiscuit said,

        It’s sad – even Cthulhu has gone on vacation (the Lord having flicked us aside long ago). Thank you for the correction. Much appreciated.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        These days we’re all looking for that ray of hope that flickers in the sky that Johnny Matthis sang about in his 1976 song When A Child Is Born.

        Although I do write about depressing stuff especially this year since I write about current events, I do believe in that ray of hope.

        If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to go on.

      • Sabiscuit said,

        I enjoy your sense of humour. Amid the tragedy you cover, you are holding it together well.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thank you. πŸ™‚

  2. Chef V. said,


    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Happy Halloween. πŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ˜ΈπŸ˜ΈπŸ˜ΈπŸ₯³πŸ₯³πŸ₯³

  3. Jade said,

    That was a wild read, in a great way. Happy Halloween! πŸ™‚

  4. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    β€œIf people can say they were born in the wrong gender, why can’t they say they were born in the wrong race?

    Yep. I can sympathize. Sometimes, I wish to be a different, smarter race on a faraway planet.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I think that’s an excellent idea, Jessica being in a different smarter race on a faraway planet.

      What’s Orion doing on Halloween this year?

      I suppose he’s not allowed to go out trick or treating under government regulations.

      But will he do Halloween activities at home like bobbing for apples or going on a candy hunt around the house?

      • Jessica E. Larsen said,

        He’s only four so even if the government regulation is out of the way, I’ll be terrified to let go on his own or with friends.

        Bobbing for apples sound dangerous for him now. We kept it simple for this year. Green jelly and marshmallows. Also we got no neighbor in km so no one will come knocking. No candies. I’m a cheapskate 🀭

        I hope you’re a have a great Halloween πŸ‘ΎπŸ‘»

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Thanks, Jessica. πŸ™‚

        I am having a great Halloween.

        Green jelly and marshmallows sound good. πŸ˜€

        Yes, I suppose bobbing for apples would be dangerous.

        I think I was about six when I used to do it.

        It would also probably be dangerous for him to dress up as Swiss archer William Tell and to shoot an apple off your head with a crossbow and arrow while you’re standing still against a tree.

        Probably would not be recommended.

      • Jessica E. Larsen said,


      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


  5. The Unholy Wilton Says: β€œUncle Ted” Wasn’t A Pervert Around Here – Coopersβš“Anchor said,

    […] The Unholy Wilton Says: β€œUncle Ted” Wasn’t A Pervert Around Here […]

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