Renfield Comes Across 1950s Sherrielock Shakespearian Erotic Film

November 11, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Arts, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )


World famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes: Good with an axe as well as a paddle and a whip

British MP Renfield R. Renfield decided to take a break from fighting George Soros, Bill and Melinda Gates, World Economic Forum Chairman Karl Schwab, Pope Francis and the ongoing Neo-Bolshevik Revolution in the United States.

He fired off an email to British Prime Minister Boris Johnson who had just recognized Joe Biden as President-elect of the United States.

Solely on the basis that the AP Associated Press had declared so this past Saturday November 7th and numerous mainstream Marxist media outlets had followed suit.

Renfield’s email asked Boris Johnson, “How does it feel to be an idiot?”.

He then read an email from a friend of his who had sent him a link to a YouTube video.

The video was of a 1950s erotic film that had apparently starred world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes.

Sherrielock Holmes was the twin sister of world-famous London consulting detective Sherlock Holmes.

In the 1890s, she had become immortal after eating a particularly powerful Lingzhi Supernatural Mushroom.

Not looking a day over 30 (even though she was in her 40s when she ate the mushroom), she had married French scientist Dr. Louis Rocher (who it was later dscovered was in fact the illegitimate son of Prof. James Moriarty who was her brother Sherlock’s mortal enemy).

She and Louis Rocher had several children.

Louis Rocher, who served in the RAF during World War I, was shot down and killed by the Red Baron just the day before the Red Baron himself was shot down and killed by a couple of Canadian pilots.

One of Sherrielock’s descendants was her great-grandson Dr. Cadbury Rocher who was Set Enterprises’ chief scientist.

Having both Holmes and Moriarty blood in his veins, Dr. Cadbury Rocher often alternated between good and evil during his distinguished career as a mad scientist.

The film was called Shakespearian Sherrielock and was shot in black and white as of course were many movies back in the 1950s.

The film began with this scene:

Sherrielock was busy examining an axe as the estate’s chief servant Hemlock the Dwarf stood on the house stairs looking at her.

Hemlock the Dwarf: Thou lookest like thou art about to choppeth off someone’s head.

Sherrielock: Aye, Hemlock, I am.

Hemlock the Dwarf: I hear the Lady Anne Boleyn, late Queen of England, lost her fair head on this May fair morning.

Sherrielock: Aye, that she did. Her blood now soaketh the pavement of the Tower of London where no fair flowers bloometh.

Hemlock: Who art thou thinking of beheading this morning?

(The dwarf did ask as he approached her)

Sherrielock (raising her axe above the dwarf): The one who gave the hemlock to my favourite horse Socrates.

Hemlock (terrified): Mistress, thou knowest? Let me explain. It was only because thou didst love that horse more than me.

But Hemlock had run out of explanations for his head became separated from his neck by the cutting edge of Sherrielock’s axe and it did roll on to the floor.

Sherrielock (ringing a bell): Maid, come cleaneth up this mess.

Later that night, Sherrielock sat on her bed and waited for Hans Falstaffson the Courier to show up.

Hans Falstaffson the Courier (played by actor Orson Welles) shows up.

Renfield, enjoying the movie so far as he ate his popcorn, said, “Wow, I never knew Welles ever appeared in a 1950s erotic soft porn film.”

“Hans, thou art late,” Sherrielock admonished him.

“My lady, I do apologize,” Hans Falstaffson bowed.

Sherrielock: For thy errant tardiness, I must spank thee on the bare bottom with this sturdy paddle.

Falstaffson (bowing): Very well, my lady.

(Orson as Hans Falstaffson takes off all his clothes)

“Oh God,” Renfield shields his eyes, “I’ll never be able to get that image out of my mind.”

Sherrielock sits on the bed and straightens and smooths the skirt of her dress as Welles’ Falstaffson approaches and lies across her lap waiting to receive his punishment.

Welles who had chosen to use the Stanislavski method in the making of this film would undergo the same gruelling paddling on his backside as that of his character Hans Falstaffson the Courier.

Thus Welles’ and Falstaffson’s screams merged and echoed as one as the character/actor’s buttocks turned as crimson red as a lobster flambe or the ripest of all tomatoes while Sherrielock vigourously administered the spanking.

100 of the best.

100 of the worst.

It was the best of times.

It was the worst of times.

When the spanking was over, Sherrielock held Welles/Falstaffson’s head against her most ample and delightful bosom and comforted him.

Sherrielock (gently stroking his hair): Art thou happy that I spanked thee?

Welles/Falstaffson (nodding): Aye, my lady. My bottom stingeth like the scorpion in the noonday sun.

And as everybody knows who was on YouTube today, the system crashed at 7:13 PM U.S. Eastern Standard Time Wednesday November 11th 2020.

“Shit,” Renfield exclaimed as the video konked out at this most dramatic moment.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 11th
2020.

14 Comments

  1. Jessica E. Larsen said,

    Agree. That looked like a fun film to watch, but I doubt that I’ll be able to swallow the popcorns while watching.

    And one day I wish to be able to ask this question โ€œHow does it feel to be an idiot?โ€ to a specific people in my life.

  2. shั”rrรญั” dั” vฮฑlั”rรญฮฑ said,

    My dearest Chris … LOL
    Cannot stop laughing at this.Sherrielock Holmes has the almighty axe, whip & all those dominatrix weapon of pleasure – to punish all men who thought they were that ‘almighty’.
    Not until they meet her.
    She will either beheaded you or whip you, or spank you or tomatoed you.
    Her assassination skills are beyond any imagination for she is the only women who knew how to use the kitchen & garden tools as her mighty weapons of punishment. Not even Hell has those! LOL

    Dwarfs are her army, you know.
    They live in between the mushrooms & tomatoes she care with loads of love.
    Those who invade her home shall never return home the same …
    Even the dead Pontius Pilates woke up from his dead sleep while awaits for the call of Armageddon, and yet, it was her that awoken him with her whip of thunder.
    How torturous!
    hahaha …

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      ROTFL, my dearest Sherrie. ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

      You always come up with the wittiest and most humourous comments.

      Yes, using kitchen and garden tools as mighty weapons of punishment is a skill not even the mightiest of Greek, Norse and Celtic gods and goddesses has ever been able to master.

      Those residing on Olympus and in Valhalla quake at the name of Sherrielock Holmes and her kitchen and garden implements of mass destruction.

      Even Beelzebub is reluctant to venture into Sherrielock’s domain.

      He tried it once and his bottom shall never be the same.

      A sting that shall last for all eternity.

      Yes, Pontius Pilate once asked, “What is truth?”.

      And now his bottom definitely knows for sure.

      Beware of Sherrielock and her army of mushroom and tomato dwelling dwarves from Hades.

      • shั”rrรญั” dั” vฮฑlั”rรญฮฑ said,

        Yes, a woman who knows well of her own cooking is the most dangerous person on earth ever existed.

        For that what she prepares on her table for anyone to devour can be poisonous – the punishment is too hot for she added much deadly pepper & Hell Chillies with the combination of Naughty Red Bun & Mischievious Naughty Red Tomatoes.
        Not to forget the toxin Lingzhi mushrooms … ooo … you will be eternally eating her exotic deserts … for whatever you fantasize after all those drugs goes into your system … even Hades begs for more …. LOL

        No one is like Sherrielock Holmes, aye!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Very true. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜…

        Sherrielock’s recipes will stop the entire world in its tracks. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ…๐Ÿฅ–๐ŸŒถ

  3. David Redpath said,

    I heard that the movie was such
    a hit that a sequel soon followed,
    ‘A Spanked Tail And Two Titties’.
    ‘Carry On Spanking – The Thrilling
    Threesome Threequel’, being the
    final installment of the franchise.
    Uncle Ernie has the entire collection
    on Betamax. Sadly, I think he’s worn
    out the tapes, amongst other things.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you for letting me know about the sequels, David.

      I’ll pass that info on to Renfield.

      Yes, I can well imagine what little thing Uncle Ernie wore out while watching the tapes.

  4. David Redpath said,

    Yes, when the heads are all worn out
    on the old Betamax, you may as well
    throw the whole thing out. I’ve tried
    to do exactly that do that many times
    with Uncle Ernie, but he keeps coming
    back.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Uncle Ernie is the gift that keeps on giving.

      That’s why the Grinch came to hate Christmas.

      • David Redpath said,

        The Grinch of Lost Innocence,
        who keeps on taking. That’s why
        Uncle Ernie loves Christmas ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ˜Ž

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Uncle Ernie opening his socks by the chimney with care.

        And once again finding the vibrator there way too large for him.

        Just like every other vibrator he’s pulled out of his stocking with care every other Christmas morn. ๐ŸŽ„

  5. David Redpath said,

    The sad fact of the Uncle Ernie
    story, an old square peg forever
    trying to fit into some, or other, round hole ๐Ÿ”ฒ โšซ

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