Pandora and The Cobblerish Coblynau

January 18, 2021 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )


Pandora was an actress
An immortal Greek actress
Once pursued by Zeus
She pretended to be impressed by Zeus’ charms
In order that she could steal some ambrosia
And make herself immortal in the process.

But she never gave herself to Zeus
In the way Zeus would have wanted
Being the horny old philandering Olympian
That he was.

The result?
Zeus besmirched her good name
Telling the Greek poet Hesiod (750 to 650 BC)
That Pandora by opening a jar
Had loosed all manners of evil
Upon the world
Pandora’s jar would later become Pandora’s box
In the western collective unconsciousness
After the Renaissance writer Erasmus
In a night of overindulgence in fine Italian wine
Had mistranslated jar as box
In his setting forth down of the tale
The next morning
When the sun rose
And the cock outside his window
Decided to sing all the Baroque musical hit songs
of Christendom all in one setting

Fortunately Erasmus never lived to see
The writing of Eleanor Rigby
Otherwise we might all think
That Eleanor Rigby
Kept her face
In a box
By the door

Pandora had heard that Charles Laughton and Vincent Price
Were making a movie down in Mexica
So she had gone there
In the Year of Our Lord 1949
And on this night
She stood alongside a piano
In an elegant Mexican cantina

Behind her was a statue of the Greek god Dionysus
Carrying some exotic fruits on his head
(Fruits that would later corrupt a promising young writer
Truman Capote)
The statue was in fact the real Greek god Dionysus
Who had been turned to stone by a very realistic portrait
painted of Medusa the Gorgon
By the usually abstract surrealist painter Pablo Picasso

On the other side of the piano
Was a violinist who played the violin
And dreamed of being Don Quixote
Next to him was a bass player
Who played the bass
And dreamed of being an ice fisherman

Playing the piano was a Charles Laughton lookalike
Who played the piano
And sang of how his wife had run off with his donkey
Leaving him and the windmill to grind all that wheat
By themselves

Below Pandora on the steps where she stood
Was a guitar player
Who didn’t really play the guitar
But only used the guitar
To cover his erection
Which he got
By looking at Pandora
All the while mumbling,
“Oh my God! Oh my God!”.

On a stool by himself
Where a stool pigeon
Had left his calling card
And playing the flute
Sat a Welsh Coblynau
A gnome native to Wales
His name was Egregious Engelbert

Normally Coblynau hung out in Welsh coal mines
But Engy (which was his nickname)
Had developed an allergy to coal dust
And so became a cobbler
Making fine leather shoes

The Cobblerish Coblynau they called him
Making shoes by night
And shoes by day
Even giving shoes to those
Who couldn’t afford to pay

And so they were here
This eclectic crowd
When a man walked in
A man named Rigby
A man who had once gone up 39 Steps
A man who had once stood on Waterloo Bridge
A man of whom
Could he be bribed?
Could he bought?
Was $10,000
Worth 30 pieces of silver?

Rigby
No relation to Eleanor
Nor had he ever visited Acquitaine
Was now here in the room

Waiting for the evening to begin
And the fireworks to start
Would the Price be right
And just how prickly
Was Carlotta’s Cactus Throne?

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 18th
2021.

4 Comments

  1. Kritika said,

    A great story in a poem format.

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