Semiramis Recalls Harvey Tallbanger

February 18, 2021 at 11:17 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Semiramis the immortal Queen of Babylon in the back of an automobile with Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir

The lecherous old leech Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir had picked Semiramis up outside the British Houses of Parliament.

He had told the immortal Queen that he had rented the entire London Philharmonic Orchestra for her to give them their own private concert.

He had instructed the chauffeur to drive them to the Royal Albert Hall.

Of course there would be no London Philharmonic Orchestra waiting there.

Instead the “never say die” Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was hoping to make out with Semiramis in one of the auditorium seats.

He had always wanted to do that with some woman.

The only trouble was there was usually always an event of some sort at the Royal Albert Hall.

However these times of Covid had put an end to such events.

And Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was hoping to take advantage of this opportunity.

As Lord Frolic’s car drove through the streets of London, they passed by the ghosts of Orson Welles and Winston Churchill.

“Rita,” Orson’s ghost called out for Semiramis looked very much like Orson’s late ex-wife Rita Hayworth.

“I do believe,” Churchill was smoking a spectral cigar, “that is Semiramis the immortal Queen of Babylon although the resemblance she bears to your ex-wife is quite remarkable. I met Semiramis once at the Tehran Conference in 1943. I remember she kicked Josef Stalin in the testicles when he got too fresh with her. Which made our talk (Churchill’s, Roosevelt’s and Stalin’s) of opening up a second front against Germany by June 1944 all the more amusing.”

The car continued to drive down the street leaving Welles looking mournful and Churchill looking reflective.

The car then stopped at a traffic light at an intersection where British Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab was standing likewise waiting for the light to change.

This past Sunday Raab had said that the British government should consider having UK citizens carry vaccine passports in order to enter such places as supermarkets.

As he stood there, a cream pie was thrown in his face by a seemingly invisible entity.

Meanwhile inside the car:

Semiramis (looking thoughtful): I have the feeling I’ve seen that rabbit somewhere before.

Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was somewhat startled by this assertion, “You see a rabbit out there?”.

“Yes,” Semiramis nodded, “a 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.”

“Really?” Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was starting to wonder whether his date for this evening was clinically insane, “And when did you last see him?”.

“Several thousand years ago when my husband Nimrod first proposed building the Tower of Babel,” Semiramis recalled, “That rabbit threw a cream pie in Nimrod’s face.”

“Cream pies have been around that long?” Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was surprised.

“Yes, for as long as that rabbit has,” Semiramis nodded.

. . .

The little green frog Nimrod (who had been the Biblical Nimrod- “the mighty hunter against the Lord” – way back in the day) was sitting on a patient’s couch in the office of London psychiatrist Dr. Morgana Jones.

Nimrod had been turned into a little green frog some years ago when a kiss from the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith went awry.

“So, Mr. Nimrod,” Dr. Morgana Jones, with pen and notepad in hand, addressed the frog, “How long have you been afraid of cream pies?”.

“For several thousand years now,” Nimrod answered, “Ever since a very tall purple bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears threw a cream pie in my face after I proposed building a tower that could reach the heavens.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 18th
2021.

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Ash Wednesday 2021

February 17, 2021 at 11:00 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, )

Samhain Cardinal Salaman was walking the streets of Rome.

Away from the Vatican.

He could not stand the hypocrisy of the place.

He himself was an atheist with some leanings towards Jewish kabbalistic mysticism.

Thus he was surprised when he was invited a few years ago by Francis to become a Cardinal and ended up being baptised, confirmed, ordained a deacon then a priest and then consecrated a bishop and then elevated to the Cardinalate all on the same day.

Still he found today’s display of a whole bunch of priests, bishops and cardinals pouring ashes over one another’s heads (instead of using the ash to mark the Sign of the Cross on one another’s forehead) a bit much.

It seemed that the Vatican was more concerned with the worship of the One, Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus than it was with the worship of Jesus Christ True God and True Man.

He found it strange that those who professed to believe the Catholic Faith did not do so.

Maybe he should leave the Cardinalate.

The smell of mendacity was too much for him to stomach.

As he walked along the street, he came in sight of an elderly priest with a silvery white beard.

The man stood holding a small bowl.

“Good evening, Father,” the Cardinal greeted him.

“Good evening, your Eminence,” said the priest, “Do you know what day it is?”.

The Cardinal was about to say “It’s Wednesday” and then he thought carefully about it and instead answered, “It’s Ash Wednesday.”

“It is,” the priest nodded and then taking ashes from the small bowl marked the Cardinal’s forehead with the Sign of the Cross using the ashes saying, “Dust thou art and unto dust thou shalt return.”

And with that the priest vanished.

Quite literally vanished.

Just disappeared.

Into thin air.

Not knowing what to make of it, Cardinal Salaman continued walking.

It must have been a figment of my imagination, the Cardinal thought to himself.

He happened to pass a fountain.

He looked down and noticed his reflection.

The Sign of the Cross in dark black ashes was there on his forehead.

Looking very very real.

And not illusory.

A church bell rang in the distance.

Only once.

Seemingly the only sound on these desolate Roman streets in this the 2nd year of the One Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus.

On this Ash Wednesday 2021.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Ash Wednesday
Wednesday February 17th
2021.

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A Cold War Vampire Comes Out From The Cold

February 16, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Former East German Stasi scientist Dr. Nicht Werhoffen (who now worked as a scientist for the Russian FSB in Moscow) was visiting the Stasi archives in Moscow.

The Stasi archives had been moved from East Berlin to Moscow shortly after the fall of the Berlin Wall on November 9th 1989.

Among the archives was rumoured to be a secret weapon of the East German Stasi (East Germany’s secret police force) that was to be released upon the world when the time was right.

Last night as Dr. Nicht Werhoffen lay in bed, the ghost of the late East German Communist General-Secretary Erich Honecker (looking well roasted from roasting on a rotating barbeque spit over open flames down in Tartarus for almost 30 years) appeared to him and told him the time had come to release Communist East Germany’s secret weapon upon the world.

Honecker gave Werhoffen the archive file number before the 3-headed dog Cerberus appeared and started nipping at his heels driving him back to Tartarus.

The next day Werhoffen located the file number in the archives and opened a large crate which contained a refrigerator.

Werhoffen opened the refrigerator and inside was a vampire inside a block of ice.

The accompanying note explained the vampire was an East German Stasi agent Ernst Grune who had been turned into a vampire by the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith back in early 1989.

Lilith had told Grune that Soviet style Communism must shortly disappear for awhile – roughly 30 years- and then be reborn.

Grune must put himself on ice for the next 30 years and then awaken to embrace the dawn of a new Neo-Bolshevik Neo-Soviet Communism.

“A great reset,” Lilith smiled bearing her sharp glistening vampiric fangs just as she was about to close the refrigerator door.

“May I quote you on that?” Grune asked just as she slammed the refrigerator door down.

Ernst Grune never had the chance to quote Lilith on that but Klaus Schwab, George Soros, Pope Francis, Joe Biden and Justin Trudeau certainly did.

Werhoffen melted the ice containing Grune.

The ghost of Mao Tse-tung then appeared and gave Grune his instructions.

Grune stared at Mao with a stupefied look on his face.

The ghost of Mao’s translator then showed up (he had stopped off to take a walk through Gorky Park) and a clearly irritated Mao repeated his instructions while his translator translated from Chinese to German.

Ernst Grune was to go to Washington DC and instruct the Neo-Bolshevik Communists in the FBI and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security on surveillance and interrogation techniques fit for a Communist society.

“All right,” said Grune, “I can do that.”


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith: Turned East German Stasi operative Ernst Grune into a vampire.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 16th
2021.

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If Ed Wood Jr. Had Directed Casablanca

February 15, 2021 at 11:53 pm (Comedy, Culture, Film, Movies, Romance, Vampire novel) (, )

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a dream about what would have happened if the famed 1950s corny sci-fi and horror film director Ed Wood Jr. had directed the 1942 film Casablanca instead of Michael Curtiz.

Michelangelo entered the old time movie theatre carrying his large popcorn and large Coke just at the moment of the film’s climatic ending.

Michelangelo took a seat in the front row so that no tall idiot could sit in front of him.

This is what he saw:

Rick: Ilsa, I thought you were getting on a plane.

Ilsa: So did I, Rick. But all that seems to be here is this wheelbarrow.

Rick: I knew I shouldn’t have sent you to one of those fly-by-night Casablanca travel agencies. They promise you the world and give you one of those washroom cubicles.

Ilsa: Oh, Rick. What should I do?

Rick: Where’s your husband Victor Laszlo?

Ilsa: He came down with food poisoning after eating in your Cafe Americain, Rick.

Rick: Damn. I told the chef to “Cook it again, Pam.”

Ilsa: It looks like the only way to Lisbon is in this wheelbarrow, Rick.

Rick (looking at his watch): You better get started then, Ilsa. It’s going to take a long time floating in the Mediterranean past the Straits of Gibraltor and then up part of the Atlantic coast to reach Portugal. I don’t know how far it is to Lisbon from the Portuguese coast. Geography was never my strong point. That’s why I wasn’t so successful running guns during the Spanish Civil War by going to South Africa instead of Spain.

Ilsa: But do wheelbarrows float, Rick?

Rick: I don’t know, Ilsa. Archimedes and his theory of water dispersal was never my strong point either. That’s why I have to have a lifeguard standing by every time I take a bath.

Ilsa (throwing her arms around Rick): Oh Rick, I can’t leave you.

Rick: Listen, Ilsa, if you don’t get into that wheelbarrow, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday and soon.

Ilsa (with tears in her eyes): But what about us, Rick?

Rick: We’ll always have Paris.

Ilsa: Where you stuck me with paying the check?

Rick: Where I stuck you with paying the check.

Ilsa: I hope I won’t regret this, Rick. (Gets into wheelbarrow)

Rick: You won’t regret it, Ilsa.

Ilsa: I’m starting to regret it already, Rick. This wheelbarrow is loaded with wet cement.

Rick: What the- ?

Ilsa: And the cement seems to be rising, Rick. It’s burying me alive.

(Captain Louis Renault of the Vichy French Police Casablanca Division arrives on the scene)

Captain Renault: Well it appears our Ilsa Lund has become a hardened criminal.

Rick: Hardened yes. But I don’t think a criminal.

(The rest of the Vichy Police Force Casablanca Department arrive)

Captain Renault (blowing his whistle): Men, our would be escaped refugee Ilsa Lund has become a concrete case. Round up the usual suspects.

(The police head off to round up the usual suspects)

Captain Renault: You know, Rick, I’ve always been wanting a statue by the fountain in my back yard garden. I’ll pay you 10,000 francs if you wheel this wheelbarrow down to my garden and place Ilsa there next to the fountain.

Rick (picking up the two handles of the wheelbarrow): You know, Louis. This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

(Rick pushing the wheelbarrow and Captain Louis Renault depart together into the foggy mist filled night).

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 15th
2021

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Valentine’s Day 2021 – 75th Anniversary of Release of Rita Hayworth’s Gilda

February 14, 2021 at 11:33 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Film, History, Movies, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

It was 75 years ago today that the 1946 film Gilda starring Rita Hayworth was released.

The ghost of Orson Welles was sitting in an armchair in a reflective mood as he sat there sipping a spectral glass of spectral red wine.

“A penny for your thoughts,” said Renfield R. Renfield as he sat in an armchair sipping a brandy.

“He’s probably sitting there thinking it’s Valentine’s Day Night and none of us have a date this evening,” Dr. Marmalade Montague quipped as he sipped a cognac.

In the guest lobster tank in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s London mansion, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster held up a sign that asked WHEN SHALL WE FOUR LOSERS MEET AGAIN? IN THUNDER, LIGHTNING OR IN SPAIN?

“I think that’s supposed to be rain not Spain,” Renfield remarked.

In the kitchen, Athelstan the butler could be heard singing the song, “The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain…”

“Remember to remind me never to fly over Spain,” Renfield commented.

“I don’t think it’s that type of plane,” Montague observed,” “I think it’s plain as in flat grassland not the object that flies through the air.”

Welles’ ghost was brought back to the present by the sheer inanity of the current conversation.

“I was just thinking that it was 75 years ago today that the movie Gilda starring my then wife Rita Hayworth was released,” Welles wiped away a spectral tear.

“That was considered her greatest role wasn’t it?” Renfield asked.

“It was,” Welles blew his ghostly nose in his spectral handkerchief as tears continued to fall down his cheeks and beard like Niagara Falls.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster pulled his waterproof guitar out of his waterproof suitcase and started playing the song Put The Blame On Mame.

“That song was from the movie Gilda wasn’t it?” Dr. Marmalade Montague asked.

“It was,” Welles’ ghost wiped away another spectral tear from his eyes.

“I don’t want to come across as being insensitive or anything,” Renfield adjusted his t-shirt that said THEY DON’T CALL ME LOUT FOR NOTHING, “but why are you bawling like a baby?”.

“Because less than 2 years after that film came out, Rita and I divorced,” Welles wiped away another tear, “Our marriage always was under somewhat a strain. Because as Rita herself said, “It’s tough being married to a genius’.”

“I’m sure that’s one problem Mrs. Justin Trudeau doesn’t have,” Renfield quipped.

“Anyways,” Welles continued, “After Gilda came out, Rita became a goddess in the public eye. And it’s tough for a mere mortal man to be married to a goddess.”

“I wonder if the reverse is true,” Dr. Marmalade Montague lit a pipe, “If it’s tough for a mere mortal woman to be married to a god.”

“Well there goes the Dan Brown hypothesis about who Mary Magdalene was married to down the drain,” Renfield reflected.

Meanwhile Nefertiti Galore the Estate’s guard cat had pulled the drain on the guest lobster tank much to Michelangelo’s discomfiture.

“Oh Rita, Rita,” Orson sobbed.

Welles’ mind returned to an earlier time.

When Rita played Gilda.

It seemed to be a far happier Valentine’s Day 75 years ago when Gilda was released.

For at that time, neither knew what the future held.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 14th
2021.

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Carson Cody Albion Encounters Greek Goddess Psyche In Shanghai

February 12, 2021 at 11:16 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )


The Greek goddess Psyche in Shanghai

The year was 1947.

And Los Angeles Private Eye Carson Cody Albion was pursuing an arms smuggler to Shanghai.

Albion had been hired by Howard Hughes of all people.

Howard Hughes, one evening after drinking far too much, had taken to his room what one Hughes accomplice called “the ugliest looking woman that he had ever seen”.

The “ugliest looking woman” turned out to be FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover in drag.

The equally inebriated Mr./Ms. Hoover told Hughes that there was a Hollywood film mogul that was strongly suspected of Communist sympathies.

This film mogul had paid for arms to be shipped to Mao Tse-tung’s Communist forces in China.

And an arms dealer would soon be sailing to Shanghai China from the Port of Los Angeles carrying arms to be delivered to a Mao Tse-tung associate in Shanghai.

Hughes did not trust the FBI to capture the arms dealer and his arms.

He felt leery of an agency headed by a man who dressed in drag.

So he hired Carson Cody Albion to sail aboard the ship S.S. Call of The Orient and to be on the lookout for any suspicious people who might be arms dealers.

Albion recognized a Greek importer of Persian rugs on the ship Alexander Darius and wondered why he wasn’t on the U.S. East Coast sailing a ship to Greece or Iran.

Albion suspected that Darius was the arms dealer.

Upon arrival in Shanghai, he noticed Darius had large amounts of crates delivered to a warehouse in the city.

Albion entered the warehouse and opened one of the crates.

It was full of various guns.

He alerted Shanghai Police Authorities and the warehouse was raided and the arms were seized by forces loyal to the Nationalist Kuomintang Government of China under President Chiang Kai-shek.

That night Alexander Darius visited Albion’s hotel room and labelled his room full of bullets.

It was fortunate for Albion that he wasn’t in his hotel room that night.

However the noise of the bullets disturbed the occupants of the next room to Albion’s which were a powerful Shanghai courtesan and her client.

The noise of the bullets caused the courtesan’s client to ejaculate prematurely leaving an enormous stain on the courtesan’s expensive silk sheets.

Angered the courtesan left her room and carrying her own gun encountered Alexander Darius who now stood holding an empty gun after spraying bullets around Albion’s room.

She shot Alexander Darius dead.

He wouldn’t be importing any more Persian rugs to America or exporting any more U.S. arms to China.

Meanwhile Albion had gone to a bar called The Shanghai Scorpion.

While there, he happened to glance in the direction of the lounge’s statue of Kwan Yin the Buddhist goddess of mercy and noticed a woman standing in front of the statue.

Albion recognized the woman from his Encyclopedia of Greek Mythology.

She was the Greek goddess Psyche wife of Eros/Cupid the Greco-Roman god of love (who was the son of Aphrodite/Venus).

“Aren’t you the Greek goddess Psyche?” Albion approached her with his drink in hand.

“I am,” Psyche answered.

“What are you doing here in Shanghai?” Albion asked, “So far from Greece?”.

“It’s getting close to Valentine’s Day and I’m sick of my hubby Cupid going around shooting arrows into people’s hearts,” Psyche sighed, “So I came to Shanghai to escape all his Valentine’s Day madness.”

“Can I buy you a drink?” Albion asked.

“Why not?” Psyche agreed.

After The Shanghai Scorpion Lounge closed, Albion and Psyche went back to Psyche’s hotel room.

Thus saving Albion’s life.

Of course Albion had become immortal a few years ago so the bullets of Alexander Darius might not have had an effect.

But they were silver bullets.

So then again they might have.

Still Albion got to watch the Shanghai sunrise with the Greek goddess Psyche.

The same could not be said for Alexander Darius.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 12th
2021.

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Orson Welles Tells A Story About An Ox On Chinese New Year’s Eve

February 11, 2021 at 10:41 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Orson Welles were celebrating Chinese New Year’s Eve via Skype with Mei-ling Manchu (who was Renfield’s ally in seeking to topple the Communist despot Xi Jinping from power in China).

Mei-ling Manchu was sampling a most delectable variety of rice wine.

Renfield was sipping from a rather large glass of sherry.

Orson Welles’ ghost was sipping from a rather large spectral glass of spectral sherry.

“Well, Happy Year of the Ox,” Welles raised his glass in a toast.

“Happy Year of the Ox,” Renfield and Mei-ling joined in.

They drank to the New Year.

Hoping it would be better than the Year of the Rat which saw various plagues descend upon the world.

“Do you know there’s a little known Arthurian tale about Merlin being turned into an ox by the enchantress Morgan le Fay?” Welles’ ghost asked.

“It must be little known,” Renfield admitted, “because I don’t know it.”

Mei-ling laughed.

“Yes,” Welles’ ghostly cheeks were turning from ghostly white to cherry red after imbibing much sherry, “I’ll tell it to you now.”

And this is the story Welles’ ghost told:

It had come to the attention of Morgan le Fay that Merlin was urging Arthur to exile her from Camelot for making illegal moonshine.

The moon was apparently shining on nights when there wasn’t a full moon.

Angry, Morgan took a walk into the woods.

There she stumbled upon an inn The Wild Boar Inn.

Morgan entered the inn, ordered a glass of mead and sat down by the fireplace.

While there she noticed the rather corpulent Baron Grimwald of Grease sitting at a table demanding a large pot sized bowl of boiled ox soup.

“But there’s no ox in the vicinity,” the innkeeper protested.

“Bullocks,” Baron Grimwald cursed.

Morgan left a coin on the table after finishing her glass of mead and left the inn.

While traversing a path through the woods, she stumbled upon Merlin.

Morgan recalled a spell for turning a person into an ox and so she did that to Merlin.

She hastened back to the inn.

“Oh, innkeeper,” she laughed, “There’s an ox walking along that path through the woods. You can now give Baron Grimwald his large pot sized bowl of boiled ox soup.”

“Great,” the innkeeper grabbed all his butcher knives and headed out with his servants to slay and cut up the ox.

Merlin’s owl realized his master was in trouble so headed back to Camelot Castle for help.

Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table were at the time at a jousting tournament in another part of the realm.

Queen Guenevere was there however and she could even speak owl even though no one else in King Arthur’s court gave a hoot.

So Queen Guenevere got on her grayish white horse and rode to the rescue.

She arrived at the Wild Boar Inn just as the innkeeper and his servants were about to butcher the poor ox.

“Wait,” Guenevere got off her high horse.

“Your Majesty,” the innkeeper and his servants bowed to her.

Guenevere happened to know the spell for turning an ox back into a man and therefore used it.

The ox turned back into Merlin.

“Bullocks,” said Morgan when she saw what happened.

“”Bullocks,” said Baron Grimwald when he saw that his dinner was no more.

“And so that’s how Guenevere rescued Merlin from becoming a broiled ox soup,” Welles’ ghost smiled.

“No, I’ve definitely never heard that story before,” Renfield admitted.

“Nor I,” said Mei-ling.

“Here’s to the Year of the Ox,” Welles raised his glass again.

“Happy New Year,” Renfield and Mei-ling joined in the toast.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 11th
2021.

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When Greek Temples Stood

February 10, 2021 at 11:28 pm (Arts, Culture, Mythology, Poetry) (, )

There was a time
When Greek temples stood
In pristine
And newly built condition

When mighty pillars held up the temple top
And statues at the top
A goddess on either side
Of mighty Atlas who holds up the roof
In the same way he carried
The weight of the world
On his shoulders

There was a time
When statues
Of nymphs, imps and swans
Were fountains
Spraying forth
Warm blue water
Into warm pools of blue
Mediterranean blue
And one could bathe
In warm blue pool waters
And turning skyward
From the pool
One could see Astraeus
The god of dusk
Painting a golden farewell
To day
In the sky

There was a time
When Greek temples stood
In pristine
And newly built condition

Now is not that time

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday February 10th 2021.

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Renfield Reads Yet Another Radio News Broadcast

February 9, 2021 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Yet another BBC news broadcastor had been gunned down in the ongoing conflict between Neo-Stalinist Neo-Bolsheviks and Neo-Trotskyite Neo-Bolsheviks in the BBC news room in the ongoing conflict to see who wins control of the coming Neo-Bolshevik Neo-Communist New World Order that the oligarchical technocrats of the world had dubbed the Great Reset with its idiotic slogan “Build back better”.

As such British MP Renfield R. Renfield had been asked asked to read the news as BBC Radio News’ ratings always went up whenever Renfield read the news.

The British NHS (National Health Service) had listed the news broadcastor’s death as being caused by Covid rather than gunshot wounds in accordance with WHO (World Health Organization) regulations.

Renfield read the news with his own ad lib nouns and descriptions, “In other news the Communist Pope of Boneheaded Slogans aka Francis says that human trafficking is caused by living in the “wrong type of economy” a profoundly stupid analysis that was apparently overlooked by the likes of Adam Smith, Karl Marx, John Maynard Keynes and John Kenneth Galbraith…”

Renfield went on, “And the church closing Archbishop of Dublin Ireland says that the drastic incease in knife attacks the past few years in the rapidly Islamized immigrant Ireland can probably be blamed on a lack of empathy among the population. So the next time you’re in Ireland and someone stabs you to death with a big knife, you can hurl at them your dying last words, “Hey, you didn’t show much empathy for me…”.

Not listening to Renfield’s news broadcast was UK Health Secretary Matt Hancock who was holding a press conference announcing prison terms of up to 10 years for some people who do not follow UK Covid guidelines.

As he was speaking, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST suddenly appeared on his forehead in red and black lettering.

Moments later, a steaming hot spaghetti and banana cream pie was thrown in his face.

“Wow, Gillian,” Harold called out to his wife as he was sitting there drinking a Harvey Wallbanger and watching the telly, “Did you see what that really tall purple bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears just did?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Tuesday February 9th
2021.

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Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Prototype Teleporter

February 8, 2021 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had recently come in possession of a stash of Russian vodka that Naina Yeltsina had hidden from her husband the late former Russian President Boris Yeltsin.

Because of course if Yeltsin had found them, they’d all be drunk by now.

Renfield had invited Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague over to help sample them.

“So, what are you up to these days?” Renfield asked as he poured the glasses of vodka.

“I’m watching Dr. Cadbury Rocher build a prototype teleporter,” Montague answered.

“Teleporter?” Renfield looked quizzical, “You mean like Captain Kirk and the U.S.S. Enterprise and “Beam me up, Scotty” and all that?”.

“Exactly,” Montague nodded, “But at this stage, he’s not testing it on mortal humans just yet.”

“You mean he’s not like Big Pharma that’s boldly going ahead where no experimental vaccines have gone before and rolling out the newfangled mRNA vaccines that have skipped a whole bunch of phases of testing and experimentation using a new type of vaccine that’s never been used in the history of science and yet governments and so-called health “experts” are telling us that these vaccines are perfectly safe giving them a level of omniscience that the medieval Scholastic philosophers had previously ascribed to God?” Renfield queried.

“No, he’s not like Big Pharma,” Montague acknowledged.

“So, who’s he using to test his protype teleporter?” Renfield asked.

“A supernatural creature,” Montague answered.

“What type of supernatural creature?” Renfield queried, “It couldn’t be an angel, fallen angel, demon or fairie since they already know how to teleport.”

“Let’s watch the TV news and see,” Montague put on the telly.

There was a clip of former British Prime Minister Tony Blair telling a press conference that all the citizens of the planet must have a vaccine passport and if they don’t have one, they shouldn’t be allowed to travel or be allowed to enter an establishment or place of business or restaurant.

As Blair was talking, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST was written on his forehead in black felt ink.

The scene then switched to narcissistic self-proclaimed demi-god Bill Gates (who because he wasn’t Donald Trump his narcissism was totally overlooked by the brainless mainstream Marxist media in the western world as well as other assholes).

Gates smiled orgiastically, “And people may have to get new Covid vaccines year after year, decade after decade, century after century.
Waaahhahahaaaaa!”.

He broke into great gales of uber-DoctorFrankensteinian laughter.

Suddenly the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST was written on his forehead in red felt ink.

Suddenly a slide showing the Georgia Guidestones inscription that read MAINTAIN HUMANITY UNDER 500,000,000 IN PERPETUAL BALANCE WITH NATURE was projected on to the screen behind Gates.

Then an audio recording of Bill Gates saying, “Way hey! Ho! Ho! 7.5 billion people have to go!” was then played.

The neo-Hitlerian eugenicist Gates then went beserk.

“Someone take down that slide and someone put an end to that audio recording,” Gates foamed at the mouth and then fell over backwards with his head spinning around like Linda Blair in Fast/Forward mode.

Dr. Anthony Fauci at his press conference smiled pompously and smugly and idiotically in a manner that only impressed those who were on the Left of the political spectrum across the globe.

As Fauci once again gave another one of his condescending lectures that sent members of The Washington Post and The New York Times into paroxysms of masturbation from which they might never recover, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST suddenly appeared on his forehead written in red and black felt ink.

Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the CCP’s stooge at the helm of WHO (World Health Organization) decided to cancel his press conference when he saw what happened at the other press conferences.

He rushed out to his limousine as TV cameras followed him.

The TV cameras captured him getting hit in the face with a coconut cream pie thrown at him by some invisible entity.

“So, I take it this supernatural creature testing the prototype teleporter for Dr. Rocher is a 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka bunny rabbit invisible to mortals?” Renfield finished his glass of vodka.

“That’s right,” Dr. Marmalade Montague smiled.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 8th
2021.

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