Little Noticed Russian Ministry of Health Statement

April 8, 2021 at 10:04 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Another BBC News announcer had been shot and killed in the intermittent
warfare going on in the BBC news room between Neo-Stalinist Neo-Bolshevik Communists and Neo-Trotskyite Neo-Bolshevik Communists.

If Chief Inspector Brackenreid of Murdoch Mysteries was alive today and even more importantly not a fictional character, he might put it this way, “It’s what Eric “Bloody” Blair wrote about in the Spanish Civil War all over again. The reason the Republican side lost the Spanish Civil War.”

Stalinist Republicans and Trotskyite Republicans spending more time killing one another than killing Gen. Franco’s Nationalists.

As such, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was stepping in once again to read the BBC News on behalf of yet another recently deceased announcer.

Adding his own personal flourish and commentary.

Said Renfield, “The interior of the 13th Century Gothic Saint Nicolas Collegiate Church in Avesnes-sur-Help, northern France, which sports a 60 metre tower, was destroyed by an April 5th fire. The building’s structure was not damaged although a historic altarpiece was lost in the flames.
Police took a man into custody who was seen on surveillance camera as the last person leaving the church before the fire broke out.
No word yet on whether the perpetrator was a mentally unhinged sex addict, a Muslim extremist or a White Supremacist with white privileges.”

Continuing on, Renfield read, “In other news, Archbishop Michel Aupetit of Paris had an escargot and cheese fondue cream pie thrown in his face by an invisible entity. Although a Harvey Wallbanger drinking altar boy claims that the perpetrator was a 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.
The escargot and cheese fondue cream pieing took place a day after Archbishop Michel Aupetit had launched canonical proceedings against the traditionalist Tridentine Latin Mass priest Father Marc Guelfucci the parish priest of St. Eugene et St. Cecile Church in Paris for not worshipping the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus Scamdemic during last weekend’s Holy Saturday Easter Eve vigil.”

Meanwhile American President Joe Biden, who had tripped and fallen 72 times during his walk from the Oval Office door to his Oval Office desk, asked one of his aides, “What’s this Poseidon 2M39 torpedo?”.

His aide replied, “It’s Russia’s new superweapon. An unmanned stealth torpedo that can evade coastal defences by travelling along the sea floor.”

“Do we have one of those?” Biden asked as his fingers fell 33 times on his desk trying to reach for a pen.

“No, it’s like the Keystone Pipeline,” his aide answered, “Environmentally unsafe.”

“Good thing we don’t have it then,” Biden inhaled his marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant Sweet Dementia’s exhaled cactus pot smoke.

And while all this was happening, Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was talking to Peter Whitstable (the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol) via Skype.

“Did you hear about the Russian Ministry of Health Report released today?” Whitstable asked.

“No, what did it say?” Van Helsing inquired.

“Well, Russia acted against WHO regulations and dissected a group of Covid-19 patients,” Whitstable pointed out.

“Wait, are you saying WHO doesn’t allow autopsies to be performed on people who are supposed to have died from Covid-19?” Van Helsing wanted to know.

“That’s right,” Whitstable nodded.

“Then how do they know they actually died from Covid-19?” Van Helsing asked.

Whitstable shrugged, “Anyways, they discovered that those people they dissected didn’t die from a virus. They died from extended radiation poisoned bacteria.”

“Extended radiation poisoned bacteria?” Van Helsing had never even heard of such a dystopian sci-fi term, “That sounds like something produced in a Xi Jinping approved CCP science experiment.”

“Which is probably what it is,” Whitstable admitted, “Anyways these extended radiation poisoned bacteria lead to the formation of blood clots in veins and nerves. Anyways with these blood clots in the veins and nerves, the brain, lungs and heart cannot properly oxygenate which makes it difficult for people to breathe and people die quickly with lack of breathing energy.”

“Would this phenomenon be true of all Covid-19 patients?” Van Helsing asked, “And isn’t bacteria dfferent from a virus? And if the Russian autopsies (which the CCP stooge and puppet Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus asked people not to perform) are accurate, it sounds like what we’re dealing with here is definitely a man-made phenomenon and not some disease caused by a virus jumping from one species to another.”

“That would be my conclusion as well,” Whitstable nodded.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 8th
2021.

16 Comments

  1. Seoul Sister said,

    Don’t use the disposable masks, super toxic, the scamdemic is getting creepier.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      They’ve now come up with disposable masks? πŸ€”

      I suppose they’re the mask equivalent of disposable contact lenses (which I once wore for about a year until I went back to regular contact lenses).

      I can well imagine they’d be super toxic.

      And you’re right, Judy, the scamdemic is definitely getting creepier. 😱

      • Seoul Sister said,

        You’re cracking me up 😁, disposable contacts, I’d never be able to put them in my eyes, I can barely put eye drops in πŸ€“

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I wouldn’t recommend disposable contacts to anybody.😣

  2. The Bubbly,Tipsy Mermaid (TIB) said,

    Uggh!πŸ’¦

  3. Sherry V.H said,

    Bacteria and blood clot … that certainly rings a bell, isn’t it?
    Spies and Russia, spies and poisoning … Covid never happens …
    those were spies job at their best!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, spies’ jobs at its best. πŸ•΅πŸ»

      Spies’ jobs with spies’ jabs the result. πŸ’‰πŸ§¬πŸ¦ πŸ§«πŸ§ͺ=πŸ˜·πŸ€’

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