Orson Welles, Faust, Marilyn Monroe and The Asphalt Jungle

April 22, 2021 at 10:55 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Movies, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The ghost of Orson Welles sat in an armchair in the living room of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

He had been imbibing several spectral glasses of spectral red wine from a large bottle of spectral red wine and reminiscing to Renfield about his mortal life.

“I’m not quite sure how it happened,” Welles’ nose was starting to look as red as that of his favourite Shakespearian character Falstaff, “but I somehow managed one day to find myself on the set of the 1950 film noir movie The Asphalt Jungle in which Marilyn Monroe starred.”

“Did you?” Renfield was intrigued.

“Yes,” Welles nodded, “and what was even more intriguing is that the Renaissance German alchemist Dr. Johann Georg Faust (who was born in 1480 and supposedly died in an alchemical experiment explosion at the Hotel zum Lowen in the German town of Staufen im Breisgau in 1540 but he did not) was also on the set of that film.”

“That’s right,” Renfield nodded, “Faust didn’t die until 2011 when I hired an Irish arsonist to bump him off.”

“That’s interesting,” Welles poured himself another glass of spectral red wine, “anyways I wasn’t sure what Faust was doing there.”

“My friend the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu who used to be a Communist but isn’t anymore (as she and I have conceived a plot to bump off Xi Jinping) was doing some research and discovered that Faust was doing biological warfare research for the Nazis in the 1930s and 1940s. Apparently that research involved working with bats in Mexico. Somehow that bat research wound up in the hands of Soong Mei-ling (Madame Chiang Kai-shek). Soong Mei-ling’s Kuomintang operatives who had his research papers later defected to the Communist forces of Mao Tse-tung,” Renfield noted, “Later that research wound up in the hands of the Wuhan Institute of Virology.”

“That is interesting,” Welles acknowledged.

“What was Faust doing on the set of The Asphalt Jungle?” Renfield inquired.

“I think he was brought in as some sort of last minute technical advisor,” Welles recalled.

Renfield googled images of the film.

“Well, would you look at that,” Renfield was shocked.

“What is it?” Welles asked.

Renfield showed him the photo.

“It’s Marilyn Monroe with the image of the Coronavirus behind her,” Renfield noted.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 22nd


  1. Hyperion said,

    No wonder Kennedy had Marilyn bumped off for being part of the Institute for Viral Intercourse (IVI). Clearly when word got out that he was regularly bumping Marilyn off and later his brother too, it might have scandalized America. This does seem to explain why the FBI hired the CIA to hire the Soviet Union to tell Cuba to instruct Oswald to bump off Kennedy and later his brother. Whoops! I just started a new conspiracy. 😳

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      LOL ! @ Institute For Viral Intercourse, Daniel. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ€£

      That certainly describes Jack Kennedy all right.

      Viral intercourse.

      Pope Saint Pius X in his 1907 encyclical Pascendi had once described Modernism (which was the name of a heresy in the Catholic Church that denied the existence of all things and beings supernatural and was not referring to modern science and technology) as “the synthesis of all heresies”.

      What you have come up with there, Daniel, is the synthesis of all conspiracy theories. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ€£

      • Hyperion said,

        I find this quite fun and informative. Thank goodness no one would take me serious……I hope. πŸ€”

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No, don’t let the fact that Alex Jones’ pet otter Paranoid Pete was taking notes (in between sips of Otterbury Beer) ✍🏻🍺bother you. πŸ™„

      • Hyperion said,

        What ever could Paranoid Pete be up to with all those copious notes and empty beer cans?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Hopefully you didn’t fall over them while on your way to the washroom. πŸ€•

      • Hyperion said,

        LOL, they are always underfoot.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL ! πŸ˜‚

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