The Search

May 9, 2021 at 10:49 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Amadeus Emanon had brought his parish priest Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds to brunch with him after the church service.

Renfield greeted Father Bury Saint Edmunds, “How’s it going, Father?”.

“Fine, thank you, Mr. Renfield,” Father Bury Saint Edmunds answered the British MP.

“So how’s everything on the ecclesiastical front?” Renfield inquired.

“Well, early last week Pope Francis made a peculiar statement,” the priest replied, “He said salvation and redemption aren’t granted to people individually but only collectively as members of a group.”

“Sounds like Communism to me,” Renfield remarked.

“It does to me as well,” the priest agreed.

. . .

And at their brunch the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and the vampire Lord Tweedsmuir were likewise discussing Communism with relation to Bill Gates and the CCP (Chinese Communist Party).

“So I hear after 27 years of marriage Bill Gates is finally divorcing his wife Melinda,” Lord Tweedsmuir sipped his whiskey, “Their divorce being announced on Twitter.”

“Yes, Bill Gates must have recently got the proper optical prescription for his glasses and after putting them on, he finally noticed that Melinda looks like a man in drag,” Set added soda to his own glass of whiskey, “so the marriage is now over.”

“So the courts will now decide who gets which half of the world between them?” Tweedsmuir helped himself to a sandwich.

“Undoubtedly,” Set nodded.

“You said to me over the phone earlier that the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has uncovered information about Bill Gates, Communism and the CCP?” Lord Tweedsmuir put down his glass of whiskey.

“Yes, Bill Gates has visited the People’s Republic of China more than a dozen times since his retirement from Microsoft in 2008,” Set pointed out.

“Maybe he has a Chinese mistress?” Lord Tweedsmuir suggested.

“It turns out he does,” Set answered, “a Miss Shelly Wang. Who served as his translator on his many visits to China. Interestingly Bill took Melinda along on his trips to Africa but not his trips to China. There are rumours that Shelly Wang gave birth to Bill Gates’ child. Another reason Bill and Melinda may have split up.”

“That would definitely do it all right,” Lord Tweedsmuir nodded.

“Anyways Gates has made several interesting statements during his visits to China,” Set went on, “One of them was “Only socialism can save the climate”. And by socialism, I don’t think he meant old time Scandinavian social democracy.”

“But rather Marxist-Leninist socialism of the CCP variety?” Tweedsmuir raised an eyebrow.

“Exactly,” Set nodded, “Then he added, “Capitalism cannot save the planet.” In that respect he sounds like an old time Marxist-Leninist.”

“Or Pope Francis,” Tweedsmuir commented.

“Exactly,” Set agreed, “He has also said “Paranoia about China is crazy”. Yes, no need to be paranoid about a country that spies on its own citizens. Gates is one capitalist billionaire who seems to be quite enamoured with the Chinese Communist system. In the same way that billionaire Armand Hammer the CEO of Occidental Petroleum used to be quite enamoured with the Soviet system of the old Soviet Union. Armand Hammer used to appear on American TV talk shows such as The Merv Griffin Show back in the 1970s and ’80s and tell audiences what a wonderful and kind chap Lenin was. Now Gates is doing the same thing in singing the praises of the People’s Republic of China.”

“A Communist billionaire,” Tweedsmuir shook his head, “I really didn’t think there could be such a thing.”

Set went on, “The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has also discovered that in China’s national textbooks studied by all Chinese students, Bill Gates is referred to as “a Western person who is a Communist driver with Communist spirit”. So you’ve got the CCP calling Bill Gates a good Communist.”

“I take it the mainstream media in North America is unaware of what’s written about Bill Gates in Chinese national textbooks,” Tweedsmuir put down his empty glass.

“The mainstream media in North America have a hard time reading and comprehending English language textbooks so one can only imagine the titanically colossal struggle they’d face in reading Chinese language textbooks,” Set noted, “For they are far far longer than a CONFUCIUS SAY message in a Chinese restaurant fortune cookie.”

. . .

The Greek goddess Athena was checking out the books in the living room of Dracul Van Helsing’s apartment.

“Is there any particular book you’re looking for?” Dracul Van Helsing asked as he brought in the home delivery order from Lydo’s Chinese Food.

“Claudius’ History of the Etruscans,” Athena answered.

“You must have heard about my visit this past Friday to an English country garden adjacent to an English country manor’s library and living room,” Van Helsing smiled.

“I did,” Athena nodded, “And those creatures Napoleon sketched whose sketches the French Emperor put in the last pages of that book.”

“What about them?” Van Helsing asked.

“Where do you think Bill Gates got his ideas on what to put in his next vaccine?” Athena asked.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 9th 2021.

12 Comments

  1. George F. said,

    Between the tasty Chinese food and the even more tasty Chinese poontang, it’s no wonder Gates has crossed over. Can’t get nuttin’ like those in the West!

  2. David Redpath said,

    Melinda Gates is using that tired
    old line that Bill was hanging out
    too much with his eugenics
    enthusiast predatory paedophile
    friend, Jeffrey Epstein. How many
    times has that been used as
    grounds for divorce! ๐Ÿค”

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Not too many, I reckon. ๐Ÿค 

      Hillary is still married to another Bill (who likewise hung out with Jeffrey Epstein).

      • David Redpath said,

        I’m sure Melania is about to
        take her Slovenian trophy๐Ÿ†
        and cash in ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ˜Ž

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        She’s leaving at the call of the last Trump. ๐ŸŽบ

  3. David Redpath said,

    (when I said ๐Ÿ†… I mean ๐Ÿˆ)

  4. David Redpath said,

    Donald will be blowing his own horn
    . . . as always ๐Ÿ“ฏ

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      It will take quite the acrobatic performance on his part to accomplish that. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

      • David Redpath said,

        Donald could always go back to
        reality TV and find an apprentice๐Ÿ˜ˆ
        who’d do that for him ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I agree with your emojis. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ

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