The Devil Is In The Details… and Also The Vaccine?
Amadeus Emanon was in a confectionary store when he ran into the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. Of E. Parish in West London.
“Hello, Father Aidan,” Amadeus greeted the priest who was also the Church of England’s leading exorcist, “I hear you’ve booked a Set Enterprises dirigible airship to Rome.”
“That’s right,” Father Saint Edmunds nodded, “One of the few modes of transport left where you don’t have to use an EU approved 666 Mark of the Beast Vaccine Passport to travel.”
“What will you be doing in Rome?” Amadeus asked.
“I’ll be performing an exorcism on Italian history professor Roberto de Mattei who became demonically possessed as a result of receiving a vaccine for Covid-19,” Father Aidan explained.
“Wow,” Amadeus was astonished, “I had heard that there were a few side effects to the Covid vaccine but I didn’t know that demonic possession was among them.”
“Mr. de Mattei’s case is the most notable,” Father Aidan agreed, “I don’t know how many others are out there.”
“Why are you being called to Rome to do an exorcism?” Amadeus inquired, “Surely there are exorcists in the Diocese of Rome who could do exorcisms.”
“Yes but Pope Francis has abolished the office of exorcist in the Catholic Church,” Father Aidan noted.
“He has?” Amadeus was shocked, “Why?”.
“Bergoglio feels that exorcism of demons is harmful to ecumenism and inter-faith relations,” Father Aidan answered, “He’s hoping to sign a San Francisco Declaration with Anton Lavey’s Church of Satan similar to the Abu Dhabi Declaration he signed with the Grand Imam of Al-Azhar University.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 30th
2021.
Send In The Clowns
Pope Francis was laying in bed trying to fall asleep.
He had neglected to take off his red clown nose that he had put on earlier this evening in order to attend a Clown Mass that was being held at Saint Peter’s Basilica.
During the reading of the Gospel at the Clown Mask, a holographic image of American Jesuit priest James Martin read a chapter from Stephen King’s novel IT rather than a chapter from the Gospel of Matthew, Mark, Luke or John.
“A word to the wise,” Cerberus the Hell Hound of the Underworld dropped a penny on Pope Francis’ head while hanging from the ceiling of the Basilica.
After meditating on the meaning of tonight’s Gospel reading, Francis fell asleep.
He dreamed that he was down in the fires of Tartarus and he watched as that 21st Century cultural icon Lady Gaga was busy roasting away on a rotating barbeque spit over a large area of open flames.
The air was thick with the smell and aroma of sulphur.
A group of demons danced around Lady Gaga as she roasted away.
As they danced, they sang a song Died This Way (to the tune and melody of Lady Gaga’s song Born This Way).
Francis woke up.
“But how is that possible?” The Vicar of cliche Marxist slogans asked himself, “As I told Eugenio Scalfari the atheistic Marxist co-founder of the newspaper La Repubblica in a couple of interviews with him, Hell does not exist and even if it does, there’s no one there.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 29th
2021.
Haiku About Ouroboros
Snake swallows own tail
Ends up choking to death on
Own circle of life
Perverted Roman Emperor Elagabalus Bangs Village Person Dutch PM Mark Rutte In The Rear At Amsterdam YMCA
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a vision of the dream that the Netherlands’ “Lot’s wife pillar of salt challenged” Prime Minister Mark Rutte was currently having.
Mr. Rutte who couldn’t decide on being a cowboy, an Indian chief, a policeman, a construction worker, a disco dancer or a BDSM leather boy poster child when he grew up settled for becoming Prime Minister of the Netherlands instead.
Mr. Rutte was currently having a dream where he was in the sauna room of the local YMCA in Amsterdam.
He was being sodomized in the rear end by the ghost of the perverted Roman Emperor Elagabalus (circa 204-March 11th 222 AD, reigned as perverted Roman Emperor from 218 to 222 AD).
Elagabalus was singing,
“In the Navy, you can sail the Seven Seas in the Navy,
you can bend over if you please in the Navy…”
With that the cross-dressing Emperor Elagabalus bent Mr. Rutte over and let him have it full throttle where the sun don’t shine.
Elagabalus shouted for joy as did Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte.
With the coming together in unity-in-diversity of perverted ancient Roman Emperor Elagabalus and perverted modern Dutch leader Mark Ratte, Ratte shouted, “Hungary objects to such activities. Therefore we must kick Hungary out of the European Union.”
All in all, Michelangelo reflected, it would probably be best for Hungary if it did leave the European Union.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 27th
2021.
Haiku About Today’s Sizzling Hot Temperatures
Eggs fried on sidewalk
Frosty Snowman is big drip
Hell orders a fan
Haiku About First Nations Residential Schools In Canada
Rooms meant for learning
Become places of dark Hell
Deathly legacy
News item: 215 bodies were found in unmarked graves at the former Kamloops Indian Residential School in British Columbia in May and earlier this week 751 bodies were found in unmarked graves at the former Marieval Indian Residential School in Saskatchewan.
Renfield’s Dutch Treat On A Dutch Canal
British MP Renfield R. Renfield had received information from a confidential source that there was video evidence of the Covid-19 virus being released from the Wuhan Institute of Virology in late 2019.
The source told Renfield that the person with the video disc was willing to meet with him at a location on a canal in the Netherlands.
Renfield was warned by his friends to keep his guard up for the meeting.
Yesterday Renfield and his friend Amadeus Emanon narrowly missed being killed by a fountain pen bomb as part of a Communist Chinese Ministry of State Security assassination plot that had been ordered by CCP Supreme Leader and megalomaniacal dictator Xi Jinping.
Of course there was the immediate problem of how to get to Holland.
For Renfield was prone to sea sickness.
A few years back Renfield had barfed all over Prince Andrew the Duke of York who had been standing on a ship’s deck below Renfield.
And Renfield didn’t want to fly by airplane as four perfectly healthy British Airways pilots had recently died shortly after receiving the covid-19 vaccine.
Naturally both British Airways and the Boris Johnson government were denying that there was any connection between the healthy pilots’ deaths and the vaccine.
“As my late grandmother would have probably told me,” the unvaccinated Renfield told the unvaccinated Amadeus Emanon, “Don’t make a mistake and wind up a statistic no matter how many genetically modified idiots surround you.”
Renfield R. Renfield decided to fly over on one of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airships The Cannonball Express.
The flight was arranged and after arriving in Holland, Renfield set out by cannabis powered motorbike to the town where the canal was located.
Renfield waited on a bench overlooking the canal and took in the breathtakingly beautiful sight while he waited for his rendezvous contact to show up in a canal boat.
Renfield reached into the bag on his lap and took out a handful of jelly beans.
He had bought the jelly beans in a specialty candy store in a small town on his bike ride here to the canal.
Renfield’s favourite was the black jelly beans and so he ate all the other coloured beans first and then proceeded to eat the black jelly beans last.
Renfield was now down to his last jelly bean and his last black jelly bean.
As he reached into the bag to grab it, the last jelly bean slipped out of his hand and fell on to the small space of concrete that surrounded the bench.
Renfield sat there and looked down at the last jelly bean lying there on the ground.
He thought to himself, What would Amadeus do? 🤔
Renfield then lay down on the ground and picked up his last jelly bean.
It was a good thing he did for a dozen men in an approaching canal boat fired their machine guns at the exact place he had been sitting on the bench only a billionth of a nanosecond before.
The sound of bullets and machine gun fire just above his head alerted Renfield to the danger that he was in.
Renfield pulled a semi-automatic out of his trousers and blew the dozen assassins away to kingdom come.
The British MP later found out that the dozen assassins belonged to Russian President Vladimir Putin’s personal intelligence service.
The Russian leader was still ticked off at Renfield for using a controlled drone to fire bullets and destroy Putin’s priceless antique Bavarian beer mug collection a few years back.
Dutch police arrived on the scene and handed out tickets of €250 each to the dead Russians for not wearing lifejackets while being in the boat and currently floating on the water.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 24th
2021.
Spiderman At Pope Francis’ Wednesday General Audience
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was standing at the door of the Set Mansion.
He had just received via courier delivery a package from the Royal Jordanian Embassy in London.
The package contained a pen that had been sent to him as a gift by King Abdullah and Queen Rania of Jordan who were friends of his.
“What a lovely looking pen,” Amadeus Emanon commented as he went out the door, “I could use a pen like that to fill out all the forms that I’ll probably have to fill out at HM Revenue and Customs today.”
“Why don’t you take it with you?” Renfield suggested as he handed him the pen.
“Thanks,” Amadeus hopped into a waiting taxi.
Renfield’s smart phone then rang.
It was Set Enterprises’ Intelligence Unit secret agent Miranda Singh calling.
Apparently the Set Enterprises’ Intelligence Unit had discovered a plot by Communist China’s Ministry of State Security (MSS) to assassinate Renfield.
The plot involved sending a package that was postmarked with the stamp of the Royal Jordanian Embassy in London but was really a counterfeit stamp.
The package would contain a pen that was supposedly a gift from King Abdullah and Queen Rania of Jordan but was really a Final Farewell gift from Xi Jinping.
When one clicked the pen, a bomb would explode.
“My God,” said Renfield, “I lent that pen to Amadeus. He’s gone down to an HM Revenue and Customs Office with it.”
Renfield thanked Miranda Singh for the information and then headed out the door.
He jumped into his 1953 Jaguar XK 120 roadster
and took off.
As Renfield raced through the streets of London to get to the HM Revenue and Customs Office before Amadeus did, he ran over an intersectional feminist who was foolishly standing in the middle of an intersection.
When he arrived at the HM Revenue and Customs office, he grabbed Amadeus just as he was going up the steps.
“Amadeus,” Renfield exclaimed, “Don’t click that pen I lent you. It contains a bomb.”
“Really?” Amadeus blinked, “I just gave that pen to my Inland Revenue auditor as he was going up the steps. He said he was in need of a pen prior to our appointment.”
An explosion was heard coming from inside the building.
“I have the feeling you’ll soon be getting a new Inland Revenue auditor,” Renfield stated.
. . .
In Nashville, Tennessee, First Lady Jill Biden scolded Tennesseans for not getting vaccinated.
“Only three in ten Tennesseans are vaccinated,” she whined before telling the crowd of ten people who showed up to hear her that the vaccine was safe.
“You’re full of crap,” said the ghost of frontiersman Davy Crockett who showed up on the scene, “just like airheaded woke zombies who can’t stand the music scene in Kelowna British Columbia.”
. . .
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of the demons Baal and Baphomet visiting Italian history professor Roberto de Mattei.
The demons told de Mattei that Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano was becoming a problem for the New World Order aka the Great Reset aka the 4th Industrial Revolution.
So Roberto de Mattei made the claim (under instructions from the demons Baal and Baphomet) that Archbishop Vigano had a double who was impersonating him and making outrageous claims in Vigano’s name.
What were these outrageous claims?
The first was made back in the summer of 2018 in which Archbishop Vigano claimed that Pope Francis was covering up for the pedophile and homosexual rape crimes of the predatory homosexual American Cardinal Theodore McCarrick the man who negotiated the Vatican pact with Communist China on behalf of Pope Francis.
The second claim was made in letters written by Archbishop Vigano throughout 2020 in which he said that Pope Francis was co-operating with the CCP (Chinese Communist Party), George Soros, Bill Gates and the World Economic Forum’s Klaus Schwab in trying to set up a Great Reset New World Order in which the super rich would continue to own private property but the middle class and the poor would not be allowed to.
This was an affront to Baal and Baphomet who had coined the slogan Build Back Better and so they enticed historian Roberto de Mattei to slander Archbishop Vigano.
. . .
In his Wednesday June 23rd 2021 General Audience, Pope Francis (protector of predatory homosexual clergy and friend of the Great Reset New World Order globalists) said that the old Christianity was dead and it was time for the new Christianity to take its place.
After that, Spiderman arrived on the scene.
Spiderman and Pope Francis shook hands.
And Spiderman presented Francis with a Spiderman mask.
Samhain Cardinal Salaman, who was watching the proceedings, said, “Well when it comes to deciding between the Marvel universe of super heroes and the DC universe of super heroes, we now know on which side the Pope stands.”
“Marvelous, simply marvelous,” said a man dressed up as Howard the Duck.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 23rd
2021.
Pan Goatee To Command U.S. Aircraft Carrier Gerald R. Ford?
U.S. President Joe Biden was sniffing the prickly needles on his cannabis pot smoking cactus plant Sweet Dementia.
“Mr. President, the aircraft carrier USS Gerald R. Ford survived a “full ship shock trial explosion” that registered as a 3.9 magnitude earthquake about 161 kilometres off the coast of Florida,” one of his aides said.
“Is that a good thing?” Biden patted the head of his recently deceased 13-year-old German shepherd Champ who had just been stuffed by a Washington DC taxidermist.
“It is,” his aide nodded, “Oh, and another thing…”
“Champ no longer seems to hump my leg as often as he used to,” Biden noted.
“No, that’s not it, Mr. President,” his aide shook his head, “And besides it was vice-versa. No, this has to do with DARPA…”
“DARPA?” Biden was trying to recall the acronym.
“Yes, a DARPA telepathic psychic research team after staring at photos of goats and then staring at photos of Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi (they were more sexually aroused by the goats) has come up with the conclusion that genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee should be put in command of the USS Gerald R. Ford,” his aide pointed out.
“Okay,” Biden started sniffing Champ’s fur.
. . .
Meanwhile U.S. Vice-President Kamala Harris was having a discussion with one of her aides.
“I think when Joe goes,” Kamala stated, “we should get the taxidermist who stuffed Champ to stuff Joe. And we can carry on this puppet regime. The American people shouldn’t be able to spot any difference between a stuffed dead Joe and the current vegetative one.”
. . .
Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee (whose serial killing specialty was killing ugly looking women) entered a store.
To his horror, he saw an ugly looking woman working as the cashier.
He beheaded the uglo with his astral laser machete and then cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
“Well so much for the thought of buying a lottery ticket,” Goatee commented, “No good luck in the air here tonight.”
He exited the store and then continued walking along the strip mall.
He walked past a Subway store.
“I should go in and buy a submarine sandwich,” Goatee thought.
Fortunately for Goatee (and for the clerk as well) the employee working in the store wasn’t ugly so Goatee bought a submarine sandwich.
He sat at some outside tables and ate his sandwich.
Goatee had just finished eating his sandwich when a really repulsive ugly looking woman walked by pushing a baby stroller.
“Egad! What an uglo! And pushing a baby stroller! Who the Hell would want to fuck that!” Goatee wondered aloud, “Possibly someone under the influence of alcohol according to the ramblings of a woke brain dead zombie who imagines seeing a Q-Anon conspirator under every bed.”
Goatee beheaded the hideous repulsive looking uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
He then beheaded the kid as well because according to the genetics textbook he read last night, ugly looking kids usually have ugly parents.
He contined walking around the strip mall until he passed a coffee shop.
He thought he’d stop in and order an iced cappucino since it was an extremely hot night.
However unfortunately for Pan, a fat ugly blimp was working as the cashier.
Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp with his astral laser machete and then cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
As he left the coffee shop, a pair of clean cut youths wearing white shirts, black dress pants and black ties came up to him, “Have you heard the good news to be found in the Book of Mormon as preached by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints?”.
“No, I haven’t,” Goatee shook his head, “And I don’t have time. Why don’t you go into that coffee shop there and preach the good news of the Book of Mormon to whoever you find in that coffee shop.”
The two young missionaries entered the coffee shop and soiled their magical mystical underwear when they discovered what lay on the floor.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 22nd
2021.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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