Renfield’s Dutch Treat On A Dutch Canal

June 24, 2021 at 10:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had received information from a confidential source that there was video evidence of the Covid-19 virus being released from the Wuhan Institute of Virology in late 2019.

The source told Renfield that the person with the video disc was willing to meet with him at a location on a canal in the Netherlands.

Renfield was warned by his friends to keep his guard up for the meeting.

Yesterday Renfield and his friend Amadeus Emanon narrowly missed being killed by a fountain pen bomb as part of a Communist Chinese Ministry of State Security assassination plot that had been ordered by CCP Supreme Leader and megalomaniacal dictator Xi Jinping.

Of course there was the immediate problem of how to get to Holland.

For Renfield was prone to sea sickness.

A few years back Renfield had barfed all over Prince Andrew the Duke of York who had been standing on a ship’s deck below Renfield.

And Renfield didn’t want to fly by airplane as four perfectly healthy British Airways pilots had recently died shortly after receiving the covid-19 vaccine.

Naturally both British Airways and the Boris Johnson government were denying that there was any connection between the healthy pilots’ deaths and the vaccine.

“As my late grandmother would have probably told me,” the unvaccinated Renfield told the unvaccinated Amadeus Emanon, “Don’t make a mistake and wind up a statistic no matter how many genetically modified idiots surround you.”

Renfield R. Renfield decided to fly over on one of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airships The Cannonball Express.

The flight was arranged and after arriving in Holland, Renfield set out by cannabis powered motorbike to the town where the canal was located.

Renfield waited on a bench overlooking the canal and took in the breathtakingly beautiful sight while he waited for his rendezvous contact to show up in a canal boat.

Renfield reached into the bag on his lap and took out a handful of jelly beans.

He had bought the jelly beans in a specialty candy store in a small town on his bike ride here to the canal.

Renfield’s favourite was the black jelly beans and so he ate all the other coloured beans first and then proceeded to eat the black jelly beans last.

Renfield was now down to his last jelly bean and his last black jelly bean.

As he reached into the bag to grab it, the last jelly bean slipped out of his hand and fell on to the small space of concrete that surrounded the bench.

Renfield sat there and looked down at the last jelly bean lying there on the ground.

He thought to himself, What would Amadeus do? 🤔

Renfield then lay down on the ground and picked up his last jelly bean.

It was a good thing he did for a dozen men in an approaching canal boat fired their machine guns at the exact place he had been sitting on the bench only a billionth of a nanosecond before.

The sound of bullets and machine gun fire just above his head alerted Renfield to the danger that he was in.

Renfield pulled a semi-automatic out of his trousers and blew the dozen assassins away to kingdom come.

The British MP later found out that the dozen assassins belonged to Russian President Vladimir Putin’s personal intelligence service.

The Russian leader was still ticked off at Renfield for using a controlled drone to fire bullets and destroy Putin’s priceless antique Bavarian beer mug collection a few years back.

Dutch police arrived on the scene and handed out tickets of €250 each to the dead Russians for not wearing lifejackets while being in the boat and currently floating on the water.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 24th


  1. Kritika said,

    The image is breathtaking. Beautiful scenery. Renfield surely had a great day. Like bond movies.
    Haha 250 euro tickets.

  2. Sherry V.H said,

    LOL hahaha … The best with the $250 tickets!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, to add insult to injury (or in this case, death), the assassins were slapped with a €250 fine. 🤣

  3. Marlapaige said,

    I felt like I was sitting next to him overlooking the water, although I’m glad I wasn’t!

    “The sound of bullets and machine gun fire just above his head alerted Renfield to the danger that he was in.”

    I’m glad he went through such good training to survive being part of Parliament – it uniquely trained him to be alerted to such a situation! It’s sad that he lost his last jelly bean, but that was all part of his plan!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, losing his last jelly bean was all part of the plan. 😂

      Yes, Renfield’s paramilitary training helped him survive becoming a member of Parliament. 🤣

      • Marlapaige said,

        😂🤣 I’m very happy that I got the hidden meaning in this 😂🤣
        I guess being part of Parliament is much like being shot at… at least in the Parliamentary meetings that I’ve seen. They’re brutal with each other, and it’s highly entertaining. At least for me! They’re some how so brutal yet so polite – I never even realized there were so many different ways to tell someone to shove it 🤣

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, there are. 😅😂🤣

      • Marlapaige said,

        I know how to say it from the areas around me…and there are probably about three or four hundred ways…. but they all involve various four letter words. I’ve never really heard so many POLITE ways to say it. it’s like a lesson in vicious etiquette!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It is. 😀

      • Marlapaige said,

        I’ve thought about it and I can never quite tell. do you think Miss Manners would approve?

      • Marlapaige said,

        I look forward to your newest post. Have a good night!

        Random question: do you prefer Chris or Christopher?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I’m just about to do the final edit on my newest post and post it now.

        I prefer Christopher.

      • Marlapaige said,

        Glad I asked. Everyone on your site refers to you as Chris. Well, I was out cold by the time you posted so I will check it out today. Christoper – Makes me think of Winnie the Pooh. You’re the first person that I ever spoke to that preferred the first tame in full. That’s kind of awesome.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It’s actually because of Winnie the Pooh’s friend Christopher Robin that I’ve preferred the full name ever since I was a kid.

  4. Marlapaige said,

    So, you prefer your full first name since childhood because of the very character I had named? The odds of my brain having gone down an accurate path with that one was quite slim.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      A friend of mine who lives in Los Angeles stopped commenting on my blog because there were too many instances of Jungian synchronicity at work when he did so.

      Jungian synchronicity didn’t really fit in with his philosophical worldview so he stopped.

      • Marlapaige said,

        Well, that’s his loss.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I notice he still reads it.

        Just doesn’t comment.

      • Marlapaige said,

        Well, he still likes it, so that’s good. Some people can’t handle coincidence that seems preordained as well as others.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, like ending up watching The Notebook.

        I’m still trying to figure that one out.

      • Marlapaige said,

        trying to figure out the notebook or Jungian synchronicity?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        The Notebook.

        After those weird set of coincidences last Friday night, it seems I was preordained to watch it.

      • Marlapaige said,

        You certainly were! and it was worth waiting until you were ready. I apologize Christopher, but tonight I am too tired to stay awake to talk. We can talk tomorrow though.. Please have a good night!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        You have a good night as well.

      • Marlapaige said,

        Thank You 🙏🏻

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