Perverted Roman Emperor Elagabalus Bangs Village Person Dutch PM Mark Rutte In The Rear At Amsterdam YMCA

June 27, 2021 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a vision of the dream that the Netherlands’ “Lot’s wife pillar of salt challenged” Prime Minister Mark Rutte was currently having.

Mr. Rutte who couldn’t decide on being a cowboy, an Indian chief, a policeman, a construction worker, a disco dancer or a BDSM leather boy poster child when he grew up settled for becoming Prime Minister of the Netherlands instead.

Mr. Rutte was currently having a dream where he was in the sauna room of the local YMCA in Amsterdam.

He was being sodomized in the rear end by the ghost of the perverted Roman Emperor Elagabalus (circa 204-March 11th 222 AD, reigned as perverted Roman Emperor from 218 to 222 AD).

Elagabalus was singing,

“In the Navy, you can sail the Seven Seas in the Navy,
you can bend over if you please in the Navy…”

With that the cross-dressing Emperor Elagabalus bent Mr. Rutte over and let him have it full throttle where the sun don’t shine.

Elagabalus shouted for joy as did Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte.

With the coming together in unity-in-diversity of perverted ancient Roman Emperor Elagabalus and perverted modern Dutch leader Mark Ratte, Ratte shouted, “Hungary objects to such activities. Therefore we must kick Hungary out of the European Union.”

All in all, Michelangelo reflected, it would probably be best for Hungary if it did leave the European Union.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 27th


  1. Sherry V.H said,

    Sodomized by a ghost … aren’t that supposed to be the jobs of incubus and succubus? LOL

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, you’re right, Sherry. LOL ! 😅😂🤣

      Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte called upon the wrong sort of supernatural entity for his wish fulfillment in his dream. 😴

      • Sherry V.H said,

        Just as Lovecraft summoning the wrong sort of supernatural entity. Cthulu is not something none as romantic. I guarantee you that Dracula is the only entity that does the love thang! LOL

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Lovecraft’s Cthulhu has no romantic tendencies. Just non-romantic tentacles. 🐙

        And you’re right about Dracula being the only supernatural entity that does the love thang.🦹🏻‍♂😍

  2. Marlapaige said,

    Sphincter sodomizing specter…. nice

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      That’s a great bit of alliteration there! 😀

      Sphincter sodomizing specter.

      I can see that as the title of an Earl Stanley Gardner novel… Perry Mason Solves The Case of the Sphincter Sodomizing Specter.

      • Marlapaige said,

        I enjoy alliteration. It’s actually oddly my favorite type of wordplay.

        I didn’t think of it as a title, but that would be a great choice. Or a Sherlock Holmes. Or an adult story for the Harry Potter series “Harry Potter and the Sphincter Sodomizing Specter” 🤣😂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        J. K. Rowling as you’ve never read her before. 😂🤣

      • Marlapaige said,

        Precisely! Bet you if she and E.L. James teamed up the whole world would read it, no matter how bad they were. They’d be kajillionaires by the end of the first week.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, the best-selling book Harry Potter and The Fifty Shades of Ectoplasmic Vasoline. 😅😂🤣

      • Marlapaige said,

        Ectoplasm Quarterly: no one understands why the world’s KY has disappeared. Must be that new series by JK and EL 🤣😂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


      • Marlapaige said,

        I’m glad you appreciate my sick humor 😂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It comes from watching Monty Python. 😂

      • Marlapaige said,

        Yours or mine? I was never (**WARNING, Blaspheming upcoming!**) a huge fan of them. I got my humor from living in what most would call an insane asylum run by the inmates since the day I was born 😂

        But it’s nice to know that not everyone is as easily offended as people tend to be. That joke is one that would be taken as funny (as you did) or get some seriously dirty looks (most from people who read and enjoyed 50 Shades but would NEVER admit it!)

        So thank you for both following and playing along as my brain zigged and zagged down the path of “what did she just say?!” 😂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No, not everyone is a big Monty Python fan.

      • Marlapaige said,

        I am not. I just have a naturally sick and quirky sense of humor. Some people appreciate and some give you the side eye. Oh well

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I once entered a Drama Competition where I gave Mark Antony’s I’ve Come To Bury Caesar speech from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar wearing a toga held together by a very large diaper pin and I’ve never been the same since.

        Neither were the judges.

      • Marlapaige said,

        😂🤣😂🤣That hurt. 🤣😂🤣😂 I squirted water out my nose 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I remember a friend of mine who lived in Huntsville Alabama used to say he squirted Coffee or Jack Daniels out of his nose while reading my blog posts.

        I said maybe he better not drink Jack Daniels while reading my posts because that stuff is expensive.

      • Marlapaige said,

        🤣😂🤣😂 Ok. I straight up love your humor. And I’ve done it with coffee. Coffee hurts REALLY bad, especially when it’s hot. Not a fan of Jack Daniels, but if I were drinking it I wouldn’t be reading because my eyes probably wouldn’t be able to focus.

        I enjoy reading your blog and your comments. You make me crack up!

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That’s why I’m not allowed to give flying lessons anymore.

        Too many of my students cracked up.

      • Marlapaige said,

        Where are you getting these? These sound like stand up, old school.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think up all these stand-up comedy routines myself.

        I’ve often thought I should enter one of these Improvisational Comedy Contests that nightclubs sometimes have.

      • Marlapaige said,

        That would be an interesting idea. But make sure you play one that is more old school like Lenny Bruce, George Carlin or Woody Allen style comedy. You’re more cerebral than most people would grok.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I’d probably have to do that.

      • Marlapaige said,

        There are at least 3 clubs in the States that you’d be able to do easy. The others are more fart jokes. Anyone who can come up with ectoplasm Vaseline and use Mark Antony in a joke cannot waste their jokes on that crowd.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        No, definitely not.

      • Marlapaige said,

        I’ll be honest, as long as you got em, keep em coming. I think they’re hilarious. Although I’m starting to realize i probably shouldn’t read comments from you when I’m near liquids.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, that’s what my friend Daniel found out very quickly. 😂🤣😅

      • Marlapaige said,

        Well, it’s clearly a good life lesson 😂

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,


      • Marlapaige said,

        Other than learning that people around you should put down all liquids and step away so you can speak, how have you been, friend?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I’ve been having a bad week.

        What with the heat here being between 36 and 42 degrees Celsius and then a lot of my real life friends having left on holidays so I have no one to talk to in person.

      • Marlapaige said,

        I’m sorry to hear that. It’s been just around the same temperatures here, and since I’m alone now, when the heat beat me, I was out for 4 hours. No one to make sure I’m ok.

        However, seems to me that almost everyone here in cyber land are always down for a chat

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Very true. 🙂

  3. Judy Kim said,

    Hilarious 😂

  4. voodooville said,

    Many EU leaders had tears in their eyes after Thursday night’s discussion on Hungary’s new anti-gay legislation, Dutch prime minister Mark Rutte has told reporters.. Luxemburg’s prime minister Xavier Bettel, who is married to a man, made a ‘very emotional’ call for action and ‘there were few dry eyes in the room at that point’, Rutte said after the first day of the EU summit.

    Rutting season in EU, Rutte is in rut, and EU leaders stand helpless and weeping.

  5. David Redpath said,

    Interesting that Caliph Erdoğan has been
    desperately trying to get Turkey into the
    European Union. Perhaps he thinks it would
    be nice to catch the Midnight Express to a
    Budapest YMCA? A safe place where
    Erdoğan can join his fellow man? 😎

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