Pan Goatee Celebrates The Day After Bastille Day 2021 By Beheadings

July 15, 2021 at 10:44 pm (Aesthetics) ()

It was the day after Bastille Day 2021 and Pan Goatee walked into a pharmacy to see if they had any specials.

They didn’t.

They did however had a fat ugly blimp working whom Pan Goatee promptly beheaded and cut up into 999 trillion pieces with his laser machete.

He then went next door to the Dollarama store where they had another fat ugly blimp working.

He did the same to her.

As he walked through the parking lot, he encountered various fat ugly blimps whom he also beheaded and cut up into 999 trillion pieces.

He went into a grocery store and encountered another fat ugly blimp.

Off with her head!

Slice into 999 trillion pieces!

“It must be because it’s the day after Bastille Day that I’m having to do so many beheadings,” Goatee deduced as he looked at the date on his watch July 15th 2021.

The genetically created satyr serial killer then went into a Vietnamese restaurant where he ordered the beef salad spring rolls.

He ate them, paid the bill and left.

“Did you behead anybody in there?” A member of the tabloid press asked him.

“No, fortunately for them, they didn’t have any ugly people in there,” Goatee answered, “Now that I think about it, most of the fat ugly blimps in this city and particularly in this neighbourhood are all white. It shoots a very big hole into the BLM Marxist fallacy and Critical Race Theory Marxist propaganda bullshit where they’re all yacking away about “white privilege”. A race that has that many ugly women living in this city and this neighbourhood definitely isn’t privileged.”

“May I quote you on that?” The tabloid newsman whipped out a pencil and notebook.

“Of course,” Pan Goatee nodded.

At a traffic intersection, Goatee noticed a fat ugly blimp with pink hair crossing the street.

“Pink hair doesn’t make you look more beautiful,” Goatee explained as he beheaded the blimp (pink hair and all) and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

“Why 999 trillion?” The tabloid newsman asked as he caught up with the satyr.

“I have an obsessive compulsive disorder about the number,” Goatee answered.

And that was how Pan Goatee celebrated the day after Bastille Day 2021.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 15th


  1. Hetty Eliot said,

    What’s your opinion about Bergoglio’s latest stunt with the traditional Mass?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      It’s like I wrote a friend of mine earlier today, “This is what happens when a homosexual Marxist-Leninist, with the help of the machinations of the Saint Gallen Mafia, manages to worm his way on to the Chair of Peter.”

      It should now become apparent to any Catholic with eyes to see (this would now naturally exclude 100% of liberals and Vatican II modernists as well as those so-called Trads who actually think Bergoglio is a validly elected Pope – idiots such as the drunken alcoholic Ultramontanist heretic Steve Skojec who wavers back and forth between embracing Eastern Orthodoxy or atheism when he isn’t whining and snivelling and begging people to send him money on his blog) that Bergoglio is a satanic antipope.

      • Hetty Eliot said,

        I don’t see any other conclusion someone can draw from this. What makes no sense (one of the many things that don’t make sense) is that the TLM communities produce like seven times the number of orthodox, heterosexual priests—-oops I think I just figured it out.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, that’s exactly Bergoglio’s problem with the TLM communities.

        Francis has a different take on that Scriptural passage, “By their fruits ye shall know them”.

        Different from the past 2000 years of interpretation .

      • Hetty Eliot said,

        I’ll never hear that the same way again.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

  2. Kritika said,

    Hahahaha Pan Goatee had fun on Bastille Day.

  3. voodooville said,

    If salt loses its saltiness, there is no way to make it salty again. It has become worthless, so it is thrown out and people trample on it. – Mathew 5.13.

    If a Pope loses his Popey-ness, we find a substitute. If the substitute lacks Popey-ness, what should Catholics do? Turn to God?

  4. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    999 trillion … Now, I know his phone number as well! LOL

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: