CNN’s Jim Acosta Follows Pan Goatee On A Night of Aesthetic Cleansing

August 15, 2021 at 10:48 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Pan Goatee: Ridding the world of fat ugly blimps one fat ugly blimp at a time.

It was August 15th 2021.

Pachamama was crawling on the wall of the Sistine Chapel as Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) applauded approvingly.

Canada’s moronic sometimes minstrel show blackfaced Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had just called a national federal election on the advice of Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of night and sorcery.

His election slogan is FORWARD which was the same slogan used by Lenin’s Bolsheviks while campaigning for the Russian Constituent Assembly election of 1917 (that was held from November 25th to December 9th 1917).

Lenin’s Bolsheviks who did not win a majority dissolved the Constituent Assembly in January 1918.

The Afghan capital of Kabul had also fallen to the Taliban on this day becoming senile old fool Joe Biden’s Saigon.

CNN’s obnoxious, pompous and arrogant Neo-Bolshevik Communist broadcaster Jim Acosta had been assigned by his New World Order Ministry of Propaganda editors at CNN to cover world famous satyr serial killer Pan Goatee for the day.

The broadcaster and his camera man followed Pan Goatee as he walked across a shopping centre parking lot where a moronic looking fat ugly blimp made the mistake of trying to walk in front of the satyr.

Pan immediately beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

When Acosta had finished vomiting, he asked his camera man, “Did you get all that?”.

When the camera man had finished vomiting, he answered, “Unfortunately I did.”

They then followed Goatee into a Save-On-Foods grocery store (the name like everything else in today’s Covid-1984 Ministry of Truth world did not mean what it said).

The store was quite naturally out of its cheapest generic no-name brand Diet Cola so Goatee was forced to grab bottles of the far more expensive Pepsi Zero (which wasn’t as good as the equally expensive but at least it tastes good Coca-Cola Zero which the store was naturally out of as well).

When Goatee went to the cash register line-up, his eyes were visually assaulted by a repulsively ugly fat ugly blimp standing in line with her equally moronic looking boyfriend.

“Shit!” Goatee exclaimed as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Both Jim Acosta and his camera man started vomiting after having seen the fat ugly blimp.

Goatee then said to the late fat ugly blimp’s moronic boyfriend, “Don’t you realize by fucking a fat ugly blimp like that, you’re helping to populate the world with yet more repulsively ugly people?”.

“No, I didn’t realize that,” the moron replied in a moronic monotone.

“I bet you received a double dose of the vaccine already didn’t you?” Goatee asked the moron.

“Yes,” the moron nodded.

“I bet you’re going to go for a third dose of the vaccine in Canada aren’t you when it’s available?” Goatee inquired, “Following the example of Israel who’s now giving a third dose to its citizens because 95% of those now hospitalized in Israel with Covid HAVE BEEN vaccinated twice. Although that fact hasn’t been reported by the brainless mainstream media in the western world.”

“In defence of the brainless mainstream media in the western world,” CNN’s Jim Acosta piped up, “All the Covid vaccines are referred to by the CDC (Center For Disease Control) as Year Zero Vaccines. And as we know, 2 x 0 = 0. So we in the brainless mainstream media in the U.S. refer to those cases as Unvaccinated since 2 x 0 = 0.”

“I am going for a third dose of the vaccine,” the late fat ugly blimp’s moronic boyfriend acknowledged.

“Well then allow me to kill you before the vaccine finally does,” Goatee beheaded the moron and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

Goatee decided not to buy anything after all and put the two bottles of Pepsi Zero back because as Jim Acosta just told him, “2 x 0 = 0”.

Goatee then exited the store where this time his eyes were then visually assaulted by the most obnoxious repulsively fattest ugliest blimp of them all this evening.

“You disgrace to humanity and you antithesis of Beauty,” Goatee spoke in Sir Laurence Olivieresque tones, “why don’t you go back in the closet where you fat ugly blimps belong along with the sodomites and other perverts?”.

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Acosta accidentally vomited all over Goatee’s apparel.

Pan Goatee as he looked before he was vomited upon by CNN’s Jim Acosta.

Goatee immediately beheaded Jim Acosta and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

When senile old fool Joe Biden heard in the Oval Office, as he was patting his dead stuffed German shepherd dog Champ who was still erotically clinging to Biden’s right leg, that CNN’s Jim Acosta had been beheaded and cut up into 999 trillion pieces, he immediately ordered DARPA to put Acosta back together again as he, along with everyone else at CNN, was a 21st Century equivalent of Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Gobbels.

After getting ahold of an old antique manuscript written by one Dr. Victor Frankenstein, DARPA managed to put Jim Acosta back together again.

“Good thing I captured all that electricity in a bottle after lightning struck the Washington Monument last night,” remarked one DARPA operative.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 15th


  1. George F. said,

    You’ve created a lovely new slogan in your opening line: “Ridding the world of fat ugly blimps one fat ugly blimp at a time.” Luv it!

  2. shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

    Fat ugly blimp!
    They are EVERYWHERE …

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Sherry, it’s like that 1978 film Attack of The Killer Tomatoes where killer tomatoes were everywhere 🍅, now fat ugly blimps are everywhere.

      We need to bring back the Killer Tomatoes. 🍅

      • shєrríє dє vαlєríα said,

        I know that film. Awkward and all just weird, but brilliantly made as for today it stays in your memory. Who the hell would have thought that the killer tomatoes goes viral in the 70’s! LOL

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, killer tomatoes were running rampant in the 1970s. 😂🤣

        A great film showing that.

        And as you say, Sherry, a memorable one.😅 😅🤣😅

  3. David Redpath said,

    Good to see that Pan Goatee keeps
    his facial hair nicely trimmed, much
    like myself. I presume he uses that
    laser machete … very carefully 🗡️😎

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