Just Another Day In Paradise (I’m Being Sarcastic)

November 26, 2021 at 10:03 pm (Aesthetics, Culture, Life, Personal essays, Vampire novel) (, , )

One of my favourite songs from the 1980s was Phil Collins’ Just Another Day In Paradise.

Anyhow in this paradise of 2020-2021 (where a virus is worshipped as a god determining our lives, our jobs, where we go, who we associate with and what we do), I started off the day being banned from Facebook for a remark I made comparing today’s Austria to that of Adolf Hitler’s Nazi Anschluss Austria.

I didn’t know Facebook CEO Snark Suckaturd (as my friend Daniel calls him) was on such good terms with Austria’s current Fascist pig chancellor Alexander Schallenberg but I guess these two must be playing a game of Roll Me Over In The Clover while engaging in Buttocks Cuddles on the Emerald Isle of Ireland.

Then after being banned from Facebook, I was then formally evicted from the homeless shelter I’m in by the end of this month.

So it’s two days before my birthday and less than a month before Christmas and I know not where I’ll be spending December.

On the plus side, I offended some Nazi asshole.

Someone had reblogged my post from yesterday Towards Christmas on their site.

Some whining, snivelling, diaper wetting and pablum puking Nazi crybaby took issue with my lines

“People have always tried to prevent Christmas
From Judea’s King Herod
To Hitler who called it Julfest the Winter Solstice”

The Nazi crybaby snivelled in his comment on the re-blog,

“This is both condescending and unfair.”

It’s best to hear that comment in one’s mind as being spoken in the lisping limpwristed pansy like voice of writer Truman Capote.

For it probably was.

The guy is probably about as fruity as Ernst Rohm and his Brownshirts were.

It may be condescending and unfair but it’s also historically accurate.

Hitler did change the name of the December holiday from Christmas to Winter Solstice Festival during the early 1940s.

So get over it you Nazi asshole.

He then whines and snivels about “Idiot deracinated Americans”.

I don’t know who he’s talking about but I’m a Canadian proud of my Irish, Scots and English heritage.

He talks about “husks of people” possibly referring to his own unique eunuch status in life.

I never knew that today’s Nazis were as big whining snivelling crybabies as today’s Cultural Marxist ‘woke’ brainless zombie youth but apparently they are.

Both need to be taken behind the woodshed to be paddled into real manhood.

. . .

Today’s vampire novel chapter:

Pan Goatee went for a walk down to the park.

Yesterday during his walk he had encountered a fat ugly blimp.

No doubt the blimp had been given permission by her genetic creator Dr. Anthony Fauci to wander around ruining people’s days.

Goatee had beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Then on his way back to where he was currently staying, he saw another pair of uglos so beheaded them as well.

Hoping not to run into uglos today did not happen.

A hideous repulsively ugly uglo was trying to walk on the ice on the river.

Goatee beheaded the ugly looking gargoyle remarking, “If you’re going to walk around on the ice as repulsively ugly looking as you are, do the world a favour and fall in.”

He then cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

On the way back to where he was staying, he ran into another ugly woman so beheaded her as well and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

“When is Fauci going to be tried with crimes against humanity?” Goatee wondered as he wiped the blood off his astral laser machete.

-A personal essay
vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 26th

Wishing all uglos, Nazis, Fascists, Communists and ‘woke’ brainless zombies
A very Pan Goatee Christmas


  1. monimonikablog said,

    oh my universe. Wishing you’ll find a place to stay NOW! I have just lit a candle at the goddess Lakshmi in my book shelf.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I say “Oh my God”, my friend George says “Oh my void” and you say “oh my universe”. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ€£

      A person who’s a total idiot (like a deranged medical bureaucrat, tyrannical politician or member of the brainless mainstream media) says “Oh my cron!”.

      • voodooville said,

        Lakshmi is Goddess of Wealth, she’s also consort/wife of Vishnu, one of the Gods of the Hindu Trinity.
        Doesn’t matter what we call our gods, hope the Universe conspires to provide financial security for you.

  2. George F. said,

    I’d better be careful not to be tagged as a “known associate” or Dracul Helsing!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Are the black helicopters circling your house yet, George?

      • voodooville said,

        I think they would target the more popular social-media influencers, those who don’t push the Agenda.
        Anyway most of the people who push the Agenda are just eunuchs, not those who truly believe in the Agenda. That includes Bill Gates, and Fauci.

        Did you see fear in the eyes of Bill Gates, and Dr. Fauci when they discuss COVID? That they and their families could be victims to this “deadly” disease?
        Doesn’t matter what they say (in words), you can see the truth in their eyes, and their expressions. They lied in words, but fortunately their eyes and expression said that COVID is a scam.

        Strangely I saw all these things in the USA 20 years back amidst the external glitter and wealth. The desire to dictate how others should live, the desire to report and resolve disputes through authority.

        And it kind of shocks me that India has fallen so low, so quickly.

        But who knows, there may be wise leaders who make us lose all the battles, but eventually win the war.

        On the practical side, when push comes to shove, even I would give up my convictions, and go with the flow πŸ™‚

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, America has suffered from a severe hubris and arrogance for a long time now.

  3. George F. said,

    of…not or…

  4. George F. said,

    Your muti-sided rapier-like wit is so razor edged, so sharp, it’s too dangerous to handle and is now turning against you and cutting you. Banned! Kicked out! All for being satirically brilliant…a Jonathn Swift, Orwellian-like rapier wit that cuts so deeply only a few fully comprehend the depth of its meaning…and the government is starting to identify those who do as “known associates” and will silence them next in their perpetual efforts to ban the truth…

  5. Hyperion said,

    You do have stunning skills at rendering descriptive language in poetic swaths of brilliant Laser swordplayβ€”a Dracul samurai.

    Censorship is also a double-edged Laser sword. In one stroke, it cuts the truth into 999 trillion bits. And in another, it saves us the overwhelming burden of being assaulted daily by a global diarrhea pandemic of lies and memes.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I love that epithet for the sword, Daniel – “a Dracul samurai laser” . πŸ™‚

      • Hyperion said,

        I can see it clearly.

  6. Hetty Eliot said,

    Oh man, sorry to hear all thus. On what grounds are they evicting you? Can you appeal it?

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I think ultimately the grounds are pure BS, Hetty.

      My intuition tells me that someone high up in the organization running these social agencies and shelters does not like my writing.

      And he/she is trying to “mind fuck” with me by making my life a living Hell.

      I think it’s best to leave and go to a place not associated with them if I can.

      • Hetty Eliot said,

        How did they find out about your blog?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I’m not sure, Hetty.

        I know a couple of weeks ago while I was out for a walk, the New World Order Calgary Police Service showed up at the shelter because someone had complained about my blog.

        The office worker who took the message said that Calgary Police had told him to tell me that people are upset by my blog.

        Where, except in a totalitarian state, is a blog a matter for the police to investigate?

      • Hetty Eliot said,

        I can’t think of a different word for it than totalitarian.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Very totalitarian.

  7. Judy Kim said,

    I’m sorry to hear this too, dark, corrupt times. Everyday feels like a new battle, I’m going through bad times too. I’m hoping for the best for you Christopher. Your writing is brilliant and true.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thank you so much, Judy. πŸ€—

      I’m praying for you and your son as you go through the pains of living in Gulag California.

      That spirit left Russia in 1991 and set up shop in California.

  8. Anonymole said,

    Homeless in Canada in winter, I hope you live near some hotsprings… Maybe it’s time to move south.

    Happy Saturnalia, time for us servants to be kings for a day or twelve.

  9. Dawn Renee said,

    F fb
    Apparently, idiots are in every land, and is he not deracinated? B’day wish on your more recent post.

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